1. anonymous

    I pretty sure this shot of “Simon Cowell’s Baby Mama Breastfeeding in Public” got some pap photographer fired after he sold it.

  2. dontkillthemessenger

    This picture is heartwarming… parents relaxing after giving a 2 week old baby a bag of Fritos for lunch.

  3. So is the baby being breastfed by Lauren while Simon breastfeeds Lauren?

  4. I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger, but she IS draining his precious bodily fluids…

  5. Robb7

    So this barely a month old baby gets hijacked from NY to Florida , is ignored by its parents, stuck in the sun while she plays baby mama with baby daddy. Why do shit people have kids??!!

  6. mmmm I love the smell of money

  7. Lauren: “When will we get married so that I can cheat on you?”

  8. Spleen

    WTF’s wrong with his neck? Pemphigus?

  9. George P. Burdell

    Irish twins?

  10. That is a really odd way of flossing her teeth.

  11. “Just stick it out a little longer, Cowell,” he says over and over again in his head. “If you leave her now, the press will crucify you. Let them see how stifling she is. They’ll see! They’ll understand!”

  12. “MMmmmm…it’s smells like a well oiled catcher mit covered in wet dog hair…”

  13. your tongue, my balls

    Um, Simon? I know you want me to nourish myself but I think its curdled.

  14. It’s rare to get the feeding ritual of the succubus caught on camera.

  15. “Simon. honey, I think you’re due for a shower. You smell like Andy Dick’s asshole.”

  16. rican

    “Gee, your chest hair smells terrific!”

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