“Don’t Cry for Me Argentina”

*pulls string*
“There’s a snake in my boots!”

They just don’t make penis tuckers like they used to….

He’s strapping up the prolapsed uterus.

Madonna, who has fought for years against the popular opinion that she has achieved immortality in a pact with Lucifer, failed to see the irony in having her undead viscera bound by the Highlander.

She must have a callous on her cleft to be able to handle that night after night.

Soon enough Madonna’s arms will be able to replace her entire entourage of muscular male dancers.

Stop! They’re the strings from her arms!

So, she has a thing for pussy wedgies.

I’m not saying that’s where Guy Ritchie lost his talent, but it never hurts to look…

Did Dennis Rodman leave something in there?

“After removing the internal organs and placing them in canopic jars, the Egyptian priests wrap the corpse carefully in scented bandages.”

That guy best pull tighter to keep her penis tucked in

Geez, the lengths some singers will go to when they can no longer hit the high notes on their own.

He’s actually trying to pull Dinklage out of her ass.

Due to a mishap with luggage at the airport, Madonna had to borrow Khloe Kardashian’s g-string for the night’s perfomance

Dude behind her looks like the guy who played Ramses in the Ten Commandments.

“Everybody dance now!”
C&C music factory video guy, no?

And the electric cord goes in here and now we’re fully operational.

The guy’s just for show. At this point, it takes an industrial machine press and semi-truck rated chain to get her into that get-up.

Oh THAT’s the secret to her still performing at 80 years old. A guy stands behind her to pull the string…”The Cow Says MOOOoooo”

He’s so intent on his job. Must be how he’s blocking her obvious screaming into the mic.