1. “I believe…. a not-so-gentle slap upside the head can cure any problem you have with a woman…”

  2. “the VIP pass was jammed into my brain by a particularly saucy lass as I was tweaking her nipple like thus”

  3. Raoul

    “No. No. The PENIS mightier …”

  4. joe

    Suck it, Trebek.

  5. cc

    Lishen, golf’s a good game, but there’s no Sharapovas in golf.

  6. Dinosaurland

    “It’s more effective than The Shocker, but the trick is getting the bottle cap back out.”

  7. … sho the shecret ish I take a bottle cap full of g every morning before i get up and then shlap my monkey … it’sh a reeshe’sh monkey, named Al …

  8. Q. What time does Sean Connery go to watch the US Open?

    A. Around ten-ish.

  9. Mary Feeney

    Impossible to look at a pic of him and not hear that voice. He was the BEST Bond, especially in the first three classic Bond flicks: Dr. No, From Russia with Love and Goldfinger.

    • Crabby Old Guy

      Agreed. That first time you see him in “Dr. No” with the “Bond, James Bond” line, just killed. He was so cool in those first 3 films. “Thunderball” began the downward slide to cheesiness for that series.

  10. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Oh sure , he doenst look like much NOW , but back in his hey day? He was hotter than ALL Y’ALL MUTHAFUKKAS!

  11. “So I says to Roddenberry ‘Is this right? Live long and prosper.’ Ah, fuck it, I never wanted to be Spock anyway.”

  12. Bigalkie

    I made it in Hollywood the old fashioned way. I blew Cecil B. Demille.

  13. Martina

    “God damned kids won’t get off my lawn!”

  14. Blech

    “… and that, son, is how I made your mother scream like that.”

  15. In Your Ass

    Hail the horns of Satan! \m/

  16. “Every time a bitch runs her mouth I just flick this in her eye.”

  17. Swearin

    “I don’t what the fuck all this fuss over Clint is about, I’ve been talking to inanimate objects for a decade. Here, watch me talk about health care reform with this bottle cap”

  18. “I’m just saying: I didn’t bother putting on pants today so some shite waiter could bring me something non-alcoholic.”

  19. JacobN

    You said you were Spanish!

  20. flipz

    Is that Robbie Robertson with him?! I’d swear on my life it is. Weird.

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