1. “Hmmm. That’s a great story.. Have I told you that I’m not racist? Because I’m not racist.”

  2. “You have some power in Hollywood, yet you’re not Jewish?…Oh, you USED TO have some power in Hollywood. Well, there you go.”

  3. “I’ll bet your glasses don’t let you see through walls…”

  4. Swearin

    “Really?…You don’t say…that’s fascinating, but did you know I’m in a movie with CGI monkeys?”

  5. JimBB

    I really like your bowtie. Can I borrow it to play a really creepy character who may or may not be psychotic?

  6. I am pretty sure he has gotten hair plugs, but I just don’t care.

  7. “I’m really sorry to hear about your computer problems Mr. Oldman but I’m not that kind of a nerd.”

  8. cc

    ‘I know, Mr. Oldman, I know I look a little Jewish but I’m actually an Anglican’
    ‘Hmmmm, is that right?’

  9. “So I’m authorized to say you’ll be allowed one full appeal for reinstatement, subject, of course, to board approval…”

  10. “They told me I had to appear with f*ggots like you to rehab my image. So that’s done. Any n*gger whores at these things? You’re thinking about my dick, aren’t you?”

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