superficial

  1. “Melissa, they just ran out of corndogs.”

    “Fuck. Hey, how’s that ex-husband of yours? You know the one I mean — the Nazi. And you had no idea he was a Nazi even though you were married. That one. How’s he doing?

  2. Oh yea, that’s right… This is happening.

  3. It’s as if they’re twins and they take turns being the fat one…

  4. *whisper* your hair smells like ham

  5. Fatty and Skinny in a bed,
    Fatty rolled over and Skinny was dead.

  6. “So… you’re… Rosie O’Donnell?”
    “Nope.”
    “Camryn Manheim?”
    “Try again.”
    “Dawn French?”
    “Who?”
    “Kathy Bates?”
    “…”
    “Hmm…” (purses lips)

  7. Stop blowing her up, she’s gonna pop.

  8. “i’m sorry, I just can’t get close enough to kiss you!”

  9. The look on Melissa McCarthy’s face says; “I hope there’s none of those Jesse James cooties left on Sandra.”

  10. Senor Trout

    The only reason they landed Melissa McCarthy is she thought her manager said the event was at the Cinnabon at Ceasar’s Palace Resort & Casino.

  11. I can’t bash MM. LOVE her!

  12. Wow! If Sandra Bullock only had Melissa McCarthy’s tits…

  13. Sandra is so sexy.

  14. Lorenzo Von Matterhorn

    “So have you and Kanye picked a named yet?”
    - Sandra Bullock

  15. “You’re standing on my left hoof” “oops”

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