1. malaka

    i suck at getting in and out of cars too.

  2. me

    never trust a fart

  3. dontkillthemessenger

    Robert just banged someone in the parking lot too. By the looks of him, it might’ve been the same guy Kristen Stewart was fucking.

  4. Robert Pattinson was abducted by a group of soccer moms dropping their kids off at daycare. He was found several blocks away passed out in a baby seat covered in cheerios and use juice boxes.

  5. It looks like he tried to kick a horny soccer-mom in the crotch for calling him Sparkles and got stuck.

  6. Aunt Cracker

    A title to the car would suffice. No need to mark it with piss.

  7. Vlad

    Wait, I’m not in the van yet!

  8. ThrewUpInMyMouth

    Exactly WHEN did James Dean hang out with spastic friends in the snow?

  9. Blob

    Oh-oh okey hokey kokey

  10. “Kristen, stop it already, I caught you. Just remove your God-damn whore mouth from his knob…”

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