1. “MOON River…”

  2. Multiple pelvic fractures.

  3. Lamar thought that he had seen all of his contract’s provisions but subsection c.3 eluded him – a circumcision…

  4. malaka

    doc, you gotta tell me.. is there anything wrong with me?
    yeah. you have a huge crack in your butt.

  5. Hi. I’m Dr. Zillman and I’d Like to talk to you about your testies. The human testicle is not unlike a balloon. Sometimes it is empty and sometimes it is full. And sometimes it can EXPLODE!

  6. “Khloe said I didn’t need my balls. Oh, she was soooooo wrong.”

  7. “First, we have to remove all the wookie fur left down there. Then we extract the vaginal teeth broken off in your penis. After reconstructive surgery, you may be able to walk again. But sex is out of the question.

  8. Hugh G. Rection

    I’m sure the results of the blood test were interesting.

  9. “Look, Doc. I married a freakin’ Khardashian. There is nothing you can do to me worse than I’ve already done to myself!”

  10. Fancy Face

    I don’t know what it says about Lamar but I’m pretty sure you can get a contact high from the photo alone.

  11. this aint the nba buddy.
    we dont use no stinkin rubber gloves.

  12. Ironically, this was the same medical examination that he took in order to be cast in Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

  13. Do embalmers wear scrubs? Regardless, I don’t envious his job of covering up the wookie wounds.

  14. “I’m sorry sir, but that massive chubby just has to go..”

  15. The doctor is actually Khloe with any makeup on.

  16. “I’m sorry Mr. Odom, the test results came back and it is fatal, you slept with a Kardashian, there is nothing we can do”

  17. Lamar waits in eager anticipation for his therapeutic happy-ending massage.

  18. anonymous

    “Yes Doc, I’ve had this raging boner ever since I left Khloe. It’s like my balls started filling with testosterone and my manhood returned once I left the Kardashian Klan. My wallet even hurts my ass when I sit down because it’s filled with money.”

  19. RocketInMyPocket

    “If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours…”

  20. “Son, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but all of our tests confirm that you’re black.”

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