superficial

  1. “Officer, please hurry. I have a date across the border..”

  2. dontkillthemessenger

    I thought he killed that motherfucker in part 2?!?!?

  3. EricLr

    I’m sorry, sir but “I’m pissed that they’re doing a Total Recall remake” is really not an excuse to leave the scene of an accident.

    Yes sir, I’m sure Mel Gibson would have done worse.

  4. Mr. Ronny Davis Jr.

    “Please, offissah, I would do ANYSING to get out of ziss ticket! ANYsssing. I’m all yorrrz!”

  5. “Have you seen this maid?”

  6. El Jefe

    Not showing the right hand of the cop which has just turned into a metal blade.

  7. so are his balls dangling on the road?

  8. BlackAndWhite.Minstrel

    In an attempt to soften their image Santa Monica PD replace their firing ranges with Whac-A-Mole

  9. Bigalkie

    No Officer.. You have me confused with John Travolta. There’s no god damned way that I’ll consent to a strip search. I don’t care if I was going five over.

  10. Deacon Jones

    “Yackity-Yack – I just TALKED BACK”

  11. Turkey

    “Im a cop you idiot”

  12. cc

    ‘I like your gun.’

  13. kirby

    Arnold: “you look like a young Robert Patrick . . . . only fatter.”

  14. Unlike Amanda Bynes, I’ll B BACK

  15. Pierce Bronzetan

    “Sir, I noticed you’ve been parked out here for a couple of hours in this no stopping zone. If you wouldn’t mind parking ’round back, USCIS is letting out new applicants.”

  16. not pictured: picture of john connor, age 10

  17. tlmck

    “You need to let the maid up and zip up your pants sir.”

  18. “Honest, officer, I AM standing.”

  19. mbcl

    “get your ass to court”

  20. “I like your pants. Why don’t you take off your pants.”

  21. Pip pip cheery-o

    Ahnold: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and *speeding*!
    Cop: Is that all?
    Ahnold: No… I screwed the maid.
    [groans]
    Ahnold: … be gentle.

  22. “if your looking for John Conner his probably hungover passed out in an alley in west hollywood”

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