Hot Bodies

BEST OF 2014: Jennette McCurdy Leaked Photos

By: The Superficial / December 26, 2014
Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don't even have to write anything, that's how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. More »

BEST OF 2014: Miley Cyrus’ Bangerz Tour

By: The Superficial / December 26, 2014
Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don't even have to write anything, that's how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. More »

BEST OF 2014: Courtney Stodden Plays The Field

By: The Superficial / December 26, 2014
Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don't even have to write anything, that's how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. More »

Happy Holidays, Everybody!

By: The Superficial / December 24, 2014
Alright, folks, it's that time of the year again. We'll return Monday for a few days of light blogging, but look for the first three Best of 2014 posts to start rolling out on Friday. (I already put the runner-ups for January, February, and March under the … More »

Kat Torres Has The Holiday Spirit And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 23, 2014
- When Rihanna gets bored over the holidays, she starts Instagramming. [Lainey Gossip] - Miley Cyrus' artistic expression is golden showers now. [Fishwrapper] - Cristiano Ronaldo's statue is Hamm-esque. [Dlisted] - You Sure Do Look Good In That Ugly Christmas Sweater [theCHIVE] - Nobody's even trying to … More »

Lactating Mila Kunis Is The Best Mila Kunis

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
Mila Kunis gave birth barely two months ago, so here are 14 pics of her lactating breasts at Friday's night Lakers game that every one of us is going to stare at even though I just mentioned they're producing milk for an infant to drink. That shit's going in one eye … More »

Iggy Azalea Has To Be Nice To Azealia Banks Or Her Sex Tape Will Leak

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
Iggy Azalea and Azealia Banks (Who are surprisingly not the same person. God, I'm old.) have been having some sort of online shit-to-cuffs over Iggy's appropriation of hip-hop culture without paying respect to the black community which is apparently a legitimate criticism because Q-Tip wrote a giant Twitter essay … More »

It’s Laurel From ‘Arrow’ In A Bikini

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
In case you didn't get the hint from the Jessica Simpson post, there's jackshit happening, so here's Arrow star Katie Cassidy in Miami where I hope to God a seagull flies off with her stupid chin implant that should've been grounds to write her off the second season because … More »

Jessica Simpson Has Legs? HOLY SHIT

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
Just to give you an idea of how rough it's going to be over the next few days, Jessica Simpson's legs are a top story right now. A human woman possessing two lower limbs. That's the news right now. Not the fact that Jessica Simpson's letting everyone know she's … More »

Kourtney Kardashian’s Baby Is Our King Apparently

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
Because she's the hot one, I like to pretend Kourtney Kardashian is better than the rest of her family except that requires ignoring the fact she keeps letting Scott Disick put babies in her. Which gets harder and harder to do after each kid because they're up to three now, and … More »

Good Morning, Cassie Cardelle, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 22, 2014
- Gwyneth Paltrow's into Tantra now. [Lainey Gossip] - Scott Disick seems really, really awesome to be the person you can't stop having kids with. [Fishwrapper] - Elton John and Lance Bass had competing weddings. I'll let an expert handle this. [Dlisted] - The Strong And Flexible Caitlin Rice … More »

Charli XCX’s Breasts Are Back

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2014
I still don't know who or what a Charli XCX is, or why her name is a Bratz doll, but I do know you people will click the hell out of her breasts, so here they are at the Jingle Ball in Chicago last night because I show you … More »

Kate Upton Wins ‘Sexiest Woman’ At PEOPLE Awards

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2014
Kate Upton won the PEOPLE Magazine Award for Sexiest Woman last night and couldn't look more boring doing it, but you'll notice that didn't stop me from posting about it, or PEOPLE from finding literally anybody else, because we both bow at the altar of SEO. It is the one true … More »

Good Morning, Vicky Pattison, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 19, 2014
- Burt Macklin: Velociraptor Cop: Justice just got a new name. [Lainey Gossip] - Legolas wants to do Lord of The Rings porn. The world needs three hours of dongs going in! [Fishwrapper] - Jennifer Aniston grouchy? Inconceivable. [Dlisted] - If You Like Tattoos, Get Over Here [ … More »

Alessandra Ambrosio Topless And Stripping Down To Her Panties, Anyone?

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2014
I've got posts about a child molester and an alleged rapist coming up, so for something less depressing here's Alessandra Ambrosio stripping for LOVE Magazine's Advent 2014 which means Lindsay Lohan's shitty video was sandwiched between a world-class supermodel and Emily Ratajkowski making it even … More »

Nicki Minaj’s Nipple Was On TV!

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2014
A major American film studio completely caved to North Korea-sponsored hackers essentially putting unprecedented power into the hands of anyone who can access rich people's emails, but that was 10 minutes ago. Now it's all about Nicki Minaj's nipple slip provided you count 1/4th of an areola as a … More »

Good Morning, Colleen Shannon, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 18, 2014
- Selena Gomez came down with the drama in front of Beyonce. Girlfriennnddd... [Lainey Gossip] - Nicki Minaj is going to blow up dickheads. [Fishwrapper] - The time Alex Trebek almost quit Jeopardy because he was asked to have feelings. [Dlisted] - Wake Up With Jennifer [theCHIVE] … More »

Bertney & The Amazing Computer Magicked Bikini

By: The Superficial / December 17, 2014
Bertney And The Amazing Computer Magicked Berkini Belly A Positive Reinforcement Reader It was a very special day for Bertney. She was at the courthouse seeing the nice old judge who always had the best news to tell Papa. "Well, Mr. Spears," the judge said from his very tall wooden seat. "After watching the surveillance … More »

A Paris Hilton Panty Flash Post? Why Not?

By: The Superficial / December 17, 2014
In case you can't tell we're circling the holiday toilet for news, I already wrote about Lindsay Lohan today, and now here's Paris Hilton flashing her panties because it's 2006 again. (To top it off, this is me punting my way to a Bertney post to complete the trifecta.) … More »

Emily Ratajkowski Made One of Those Sexy Dancing Videos, Too

By: The Superficial / December 17, 2014
Here's Emily Ratajkowski's video for LOVE Magazine's Advent 2014 which involves her dancing braless in a loose tanktop while tugging on her panties, so there's literally no reason for you to have read any of this. In fact, the only person who should be reading this is an automated … More »

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