Hot Bodies

Cameron Diaz And Benji Madden Got Married

By: Photo Boy / January 6, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy When you're 42 and the last time anyone though you were hot was also the last time anyone thought Jim Carrey was funny, marrying Benji Madden might not seem like you just made the exact same momentous life decision as Nicole Richie, but that's exactly … More »

Blake Lively Gave Birth

By: Photo Boy / January 6, 2015
"You're gonna be skinny again now, right baby?" "You're gonna make a movie that doesn't tank now, right baby?" Posted by Photo Boy I'll admit I've never been as preoccupied with Blake Lively as Fish so terrifyingly is, but she shat out Ryan Reynolds' kid over the holidays and I … More »

Good Morning, Hannah Nicole, And Other News

By: The Superficial / January 6, 2015
- Kristen Stewart is probably a lesbian now. No really. [Lainey Gossip] - Farrah Abraham's dating married dudes now. [Fishwrapper] - Bradley Cooper's nipples are high art now. [Dlisted] - Wait, #GamerGate is still happening? Jesus Christ. [The Frisky] - Raffaella Modugno in a bikini [ … More »

A Word On The Crap We Missed

By: The Superficial / January 5, 2015
Alright, team, take a knee. 2014 was an awesome year. We had over two million more of you visit the site than in 2013, and I'll never regret sleeping with that floating skull to make that happen. Except our success required purchasing photos that returned their investment, and then some, so naturally someone had the … More »

Tara Reid Poses Nude On Instagram, Gets Accused of Using Photoshop

By: The Superficial / January 5, 2015
While it seemed like 2015 was starting out with so much hope and promise, here's Tara Reid posing nude on Instagram, so clearly we're all about to be baptized in fire as the screams of our lamentations pierce the sky. It was a good run. But until then, here's … More »

Ariana Grande’s Not Single

By: Photo Boy / January 5, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy Ariana Grande is a diaper diva who literally makes people carry her around like a baby, which should make her repulsive, but she also has the body and face of a child attached to a legally intercoursable vagina, so the Internet can't get enough of her. That's … More »

Good Morning, Ana Braga, And Other News

By: The Superficial / January 5, 2015
- Gwyneth Paltrow will apparently milk this conscious uncoupling horseshit until the end of time. [Lainey Gossip] - Jennifer Aniston is finally healed after her divorce from Brad Pitt. -- OR IS SHE?!! [Fishwrapper] - Ladies and nerds, we've got Cumberbaby. Probably. [Dlisted] - Macklemore's having a baby, too, … More »

Kendall Jenner In A Bikini & Maitland Ward: The Crap We Missed

By: The Superficial / January 2, 2015
Alright, folks, it's the Friday after New Year's Day, and not even the school system is trying to pretend it still isn't the holidays. (Case in point: This is a post on Gawker right now. Why?) So here's Kendall Jenner proving, okay, maybe she does have the body to be a … More »

Jamie Lynn Spears Pulled A Knife At A Louisiana Pita Shop Fight

By: The Superficial / January 2, 2015
If you thought Dustin Diamond is the only pseudo-celebrity whose go-to move is to start stabbing whenever a fight breaks out, Jamie Lynn Spears pulled a knife during a fight at a Louisiana pita shop because apparently that's what happens when you introduce foreign food to the south. Especially the terrorist … More »

Selena Gomez Showed Her Ankle In A Mosque

By: Photo Boy / January 2, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy Because religion is perfectly grounded in logic and reason, one of the rules of mosque etiquette is that a woman's skin should be covered at all times. Allah hates lady skin. I mean sure, He created it out of nothingness to serve as a biological barrier against the airborne diseases He … More »

Alice Eve Got Married, I Hate This Year Already

By: The Superficial / January 2, 2015
Because The Lord did look down upon 2015 and declared to the heavenly host, "I shall fucketh this shit all up," Alice Eve got married on New Year's Eve, and it wasn't to one of us. I would've remembered something like that. Her? Probably not so much. Women call me "The Ghost" in … More »

Hilaria Baldwin’s Pregnant Again

By: Photo Boy / January 2, 2015
Posted by Photo Boy Alec Baldwin has a well-documented history of patience and tolerance for all living things. Combine those qualities with his readiness to violently protect his bike if you're a photographer and your arm touches it his family and you've got solid dad material. Granted, the … More »

Good Morning, Kayla Swift, And Other News

By: The Superficial / January 2, 2015
- How many models did Leonardo DiCaprio bang in St. Barts? Let's speculate. [Lainey Gossip] - Ryan Seacrest will try and bang Taylor Swift now. [Fishwrapper] - GOOP thinks women are too mean to other women. [ … More »

BEST OF 2014: Kate Upton Topless

By: The Superficial / December 31, 2014
Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don't even have to write anything, that's how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. More »

BEST OF 2014: Jennifer Lawrence’s Nipple

By: The Superficial / December 31, 2014
Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don't even have to write anything, that's how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. More »

BEST OF 2014: Miley Cyrus Topless

By: The Superficial / December 31, 2014
Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don't even have to write anything, that's how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. More »

Good Morning, Kristina Sofia, And Other News

By: The Superficial / December 31, 2014
- China owns Captain America, too. Of course. [Lainey Gossip] - The key to Miley Cyrus' vagina is pizza onesies. Write that down. [Fishwrapper] - Chris Rock's divorce is already getting out of hand. [Dlisted] - David Duke will name more names if people don't leave Steve Scalise alone. More »

BEST OF 2014: Jennifer Lopez & Iggy Azalea’s Butts

By: The Superficial / December 30, 2014
Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don't even have to write anything, that's how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. More »

Giada De Laurentiis’ Breasts Are Single: Your Happy Post Of The Day

By: The Superficial / December 30, 2014
It's the holidays, so here's some shit to make you smile even though this little meter I'm looking at says all of you are staring into Jessie Nizewitz's baby chute right now. I literally don't have to do anything the rest of the day. 1. Giada De Laurentiis is … More »

BEST OF 2014: Jessie Nizewitz’s Gaping Vagina

By: The Superficial / December 30, 2014
Welcome to the most wonderful time of the year where we get to recycle old posts with high click-through rates because a amazingly profitable portion of you are nothing but lemmings with erections to us. I don't even have to write anything, that's how foolproof this is. Spurgle blargle wogga wogga. See? That was nonsense. More »

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