Pat Robertson Wants to Legalize Pot

Proving that in these perilous End Times even those thought of as holy men will suddenly, and without warning, turn their allegiance toward the beast, Pat Robertson has changed his tune from blaming the earthquake in Haiti on a deal with the devil to blasting the war on drugs for creating criminals. Turns out ol’ Pat doesn’t think “The Man” has a right to shove you in the pokey for a bit of the wacky tobacky. Goddamn, these hippies are everywhere now. Et tu, Pat? Et tu? Via Mediaite:

“I’m not exactly for the use of drugs, don’t get me wrong, but I just believe that criminalizing marijuana, criminalizing the possession of a few ounces of pot, that kinda thing it’s just, it’s costing us a fortune and it’s ruining young people. Young people go into prisons, they go in as youths and come out as hardened criminals. That’s not a good thing.”

In related news, Pat Robertson clearly has glaucoma and will now dedicate all future episodes of The 700 Club to Pringles. “How does God get these chips in the can, man? It’s like a mystery or something. Oh, what, these are Ranch, too? Whoa, that’s like that thing with Moses, dude. You know that thing? Ah, you know.”