Pat Robertson Wants to Legalize Pot

December 23rd, 2010 // 68 Comments
Pat Robertson

Proving that in these perilous End Times even those thought of as holy men will suddenly, and without warning, turn their allegiance toward the beast, Pat Robertson has changed his tune from blaming the earthquake in Haiti on a deal with the devil to blasting the war on drugs for creating criminals. Turns out ol’ Pat doesn’t think “The Man” has a right to shove you in the pokey for a bit of the wacky tobacky. Goddamn, these hippies are everywhere now. Et tu, Pat? Et tu? Via Mediaite:

“I’m not exactly for the use of drugs, don’t get me wrong, but I just believe that criminalizing marijuana, criminalizing the possession of a few ounces of pot, that kinda thing it’s just, it’s costing us a fortune and it’s ruining young people. Young people go into prisons, they go in as youths and come out as hardened criminals. That’s not a good thing.”

In related news, Pat Robertson clearly has glaucoma and will now dedicate all future episodes of The 700 Club to Pringles. “How does God get these chips in the can, man? It’s like a mystery or something. Oh, what, these are Ranch, too? Whoa, that’s like that thing with Moses, dude. You know that thing? Ah, you know.”


  1. Geez his nose hairs look like baby crabs.

  2. Galtacticus

    Unlike myself, about 50% of all americans are regular users. There’s a lot of tax money to make.

  3. molly

    preach it old timer
    so sick of people getting busted for having a bong on them or a couple grams

  4. dingdong

    Without even having fired a single shot. I would know how to defeat the Mexican and Colombian drug mob….

  5. Rhialto

    I’m not sure what that white stuff is doing in Pat Robertson’s nose… But a simple nose hair trimmer could be the solution…

  6. Paulasaurus

    What? Me worry?!? Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.

    Alfred E. Newman.

  7. GravyLeg

    Hairy nosed Munchee Chee

  8. Ash Bones

    Good for him!!

  9. Io

    I’m a christian, and I have to say, the government is quite stupid for not legalizing pot. it’s not as bad for you as alcohol, nor as addictive as cigarettes, and you can’t od on it, plus, there would be a whole lot less blood shed if they would just do it already. the tax dollars alone could fund several third world countries, or possibly put a significant chunk in our debt. but hey, what do I know? you know those biblical jews were getting their munchies on, and God never burnt them to a crisp. I just will never understand our ass backward government.

  10. o0o Sweet Robert Pattinson says legalizing marijuana should happen, Nice.
    He doesn’t look that pale…..

  11. Are you stuck between Iraq and a rough place?

    There is no way in hell I’m going to be in the same side as this man. Something is definitely wrong. Keep pot illegal please.

    Wow look at me. Maybe the lord do work in mysterious ways…

  12. Rhialto

    I figured out in the meantime that the apathetic behavior of six other girlz, at the boiling point, is due to the ‘smear campaigns and claims’ of other girlz… Talking about this infamous ‘friend’s list’ story by now… Hilarious! Because i even didn’t know! Talking about smart marketing!

    • Galtacticus

      They considered themselves hopeless in anticipation. Their selfesteem really need some work done …

      • dingdong

        They were afraid to contact you directly because of fear to having it mailed around for the good laughs … But in the meantime that’s exactly what they did themselves … That’s hilarious as well! People with low selfesteem are always hungry for revenge!

  13. Gando

    Turns out that you’re the most proven, trusted and reliable guy in the world. They simply didn’t deserve you.

    • Dr. Nero

      That’s why probably some of them are begging for some good spanking … because they know they had all wrong …

      • Rhialto

        Truth to be said, my babydolls and me got to know eachother way better when time was passing by… A little too good, in some cases, to my taste…

      • Gando

        It takes time and patient to get to know people really well. After all you can’t expect from all of them to have these red flaming, piercing eyes like you have.

      • Rhialto

        What was it again with fruits, leafs and true trees? After all in my eyes their faces did change and the shows did make improvements.

      • Dr. Nero

        *Shakes with chains* But that doesn’t mean that there’s still a job to do …

  14. uncle bill

    he has nieces at high schools?

  15. Gallo

    I bet he was just diagnosed with glaucoma.

  16. EMaster

    I don’t think you realize how powerful of an Allie this man can be in the legalization movement. The man owns networks, has congressmen in his “club”. This man can do it!

  17. poopsmith

    the biggest reason why pot isnt legal yet is because no recent research or papers have been published on the efficacy of marijuana in aiding those with ailments or the non existent chance for physical dependency and its exponentially reduced harm levels than alcohol and the rest. most politicians, unlike in their job descriptions, dont take the time to read current research and act upon archaic, and false, knowledge that was compiled since the times pot was first illegalized and through the regan administration and what not. if any politician review the data, they would hopefully at least first reschedule marijuana from class one, which is absolutely absurd, to a class 4 or something, as not even PCP is class 1

  18. oscar

    Pat R is just one TOOL

  19. Jill Ess

    All i see is nose hair. What is this post about?

  20. Vanessa

    I saw him smoking pot in Jamaica he always asks Ganja on the home delivery

  21. all joking aside, legalizing pot has it’s roots in scripture. st stephen was stoned in 34AD

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