Paris Hilton makes getting drunk look classy. But not really.

January 28th, 2009 // 68 Comments

Paris Hilton got plastered last night in London while she’s in town promoting the British edition of My New BFF. She also made probably the most sensual face I’ve seen in my life. I’m actually contemplating a lifetime of itchiness over here.

In the meantime, I may have added some captions to a couple of these photos just like I’ve been secretly doing to previous posts, but who’s to say? Hint hint nudge nudge.

Photos: WENN

  1. elias


  2. sexysucks


  3. McFeely Smackup

    Her knees make me hungry for chicken.

  4. mmmm… chicken

  5. rrriiiika


  6. lovely

    I can’t decide if I love or hate that dress. But more power to Paris she’s rich, drunk, skinny, and does whatever she pleases, never having to have done anything in her life to get there. God bless America…

  7. Grandpa


  8. Grandpa


  9. meee

    why is the anorexia phase from like 4 years ago coming back again? paris & lindsay had put on some weight finally now they’ve lost it again.

  10. the big kahuna

    if her dress didn’t have those black spots on the sides it would be adorable.

  11. lou

    Does this stupid ass bitch think she is a model or what the fuck, I am so sick of seeing this slug and these dumb ass posses, I think they need to throw her ass back in jail, Then the bitch can do her bend over pose while Matilda is shoving a billy club up her ass
    At least the Chihuahua is worth looking at

  12. CaptainMorgan

    She looks like a total mongoloid in the first pic. Guess she ‘relaxed’ for a moment and revealed her true self…

  13. tahnee

    her droopy eye is really distracting

  14. Charlie Caligula

    Way to drop the ball with the captions.

  15. Bob Loblaw

    Wow. Stick to… uh, NOT writing captions.

  16. Vince Lombardi

    Those are to hide the pit stains.

  17. Vince Lombardi

    And her slabs of calluses on her knees are…. well…. *you* know.

  18. Not blind

    He did write captions, Rhodes Scholars. They’re at the top.

  19. Kelley

    Gawd, she has had so much plastic surgery on her nose that it’s damned near down to the size of a knife blade, and it looks horrid … all that money and zero brains … vapid creature.

  20. AJ

    so uhh…did anyone proof read this? the captions blow. not funny. at. all.

  21. joanna

    Her LEGS, people, ewwwwwww!!!! just horrible. my god!!! she really looks like the Big Bird in that yellow dress. to make it even funnier, she’s always acting as if she were a stunning beauty. the faces, the poses…. i mean c’mon!!! you’renot fooling anybody, just give it a rest already.

  22. Her wonky eye is looking scarier than ever. It seems to be shriveling up much quicker than I’d have hoped!

  23. n

    i thought she got her nose fixed what is wrong with that thing? Maybe she should try labioplasty on that thing.

  24. Jacgirl

    Is there a new writer? The captions have been of the fairly sucky variety lately….

  25. Bob Loblaw

    > > He did write captions, Rhodes Scholars. They’re at the top.

    Yeah, we all saw them. They sucked.

  26. speed racer

    why is she ripping the rear view mirror off that moto?

    what a bitch…

  27. justifiable

    “Sensual face”? Looks like she had her right eye fixed to match the wonky left one. No wonder she’s down to bones, her eyes won’t focus so she can find a sandwich.

  28. el ces

    That last shot, of her legs, is mean.
    They’re nice legs, but the timing is cruel.

  29. addled

    her feet are ginormous!

  30. SB

    looks good, i think.

  31. dude

    the fish is schooling us on comments! Be sure to read the one under the pics of her nasty legs and feet. ROFL

  32. Whook Aires

    The bee’s knees.

  33. t9

    2nd Picture Caption Lol

  34. Sara

    Look! It’s the Paris Hilton bobblehead!

  35. Sara

    Look! It’s the Paris Hilton bobblehead!

  36. Sara

    Look! It’s the Paris Hilton bobblehead!

  37. AbsolutNico


  38. xX

    leave the captions to the commenters.

  39. benjaminbutton55

    she’s F*ckable!!!
    I like to meet and date hot tall model girs on they are not just sensual but sincere!!!

  40. spinal

    cocaine…it’s a helluva drug!

  41. timmy the dying boy

    Chicken legs!


  43. Wait, her boobs vanished again. I’m confused, it’s like four years ago when trying to figure out Britney Spears’s vanishing/reappearing cup size.

  44. Diane WTF is wrong with her eyes??? One is 3 times the size of the other. Her face looks like a cartoon.

  45. calypso

    Is that a spatula being used to open the car door? What to the MF hell is that?

  46. hedgehog

    Hmmm, those little red lights over her crotch in pics 7 and 12 must be a warning light to stay away, or a reflection off a sequin …. I’m going with warning light

  47. GG1000

    Did she get jealous of all the attention Lohan was getting and decided to try anorexia, too?

  48. GG1000

    Did she get jealous of all the attention Lohan was getting and decided to try anorexia, too?

  49. Eww GROSS

    She definitely looks like the poster girl for AIDS.

    She’ll do anything to get attention..or be in front of the camera..SAD.

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