There’s been a lot of speculation over whether or not Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt really broke up, and these pics from his recent trip to Aspen show he’s clearly taken his penis to greener pastures. Not that I’m saying Paris’ vagina isn’t green or anything. It’s a figure of a speech, people.
Now on a more important note, URKEL’S ALIVE! And apparently loves blonde bitches. Someone might want to let CNN know because I don’t see how this isn’t the greatest news of our time. (Sorry, molested choir boys, but you knew this day would come.)