Paris Hilton Is.. Cleavagey? No, That’s Not Right, And Other News

- Which are hotter: Girls in jean shorts or girls in jean skirts? These are the questions that try the Internet’s soul. [theCHIVE]

- Gwyneth Paltrow is nice to reporters during press junkets? Whaaa…. [Lainey Gossip]

- The SyFy channel basically made a movie about sharks eating the cast of Jersey Shore. God bless, America. [BuzzFeed]

- Ryan Seacrest bought Ellen DeGeneres’ mansion presumably to make Anderson Cooper jealous. [Dlisted]

- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley works out. [Popoholic]

- Kate Upton’s “ass man” is the greatest job known to man. [Hollywood Tuna]

- Kendra Wilkinson forgets she’s famous for being a naked Playboy model who had sex with Hugh Hefner for room and board. [Celebslam]

- Jimmy Kimmel trashes Britney Spears as an X-Factor judge. [TooFab]

- Gisele Bundchen’s ass is on the cover of Vogue. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Tiger Woods’ Whore Zero had a baby girl. Good luck, kid. [Starpulse]

- The words Die Hard and Channing Tatum should never be in the same sentence. [FilmDrunk]

- Lindsey Vonn Shows off Handstand, Bikini Body on Vacation [Bleacher Report]

- Just in case Ashton Kutcher’s Steve Jobs movie wasn’t going to look bad enough, Aaron Sorkin’s writing his own. [HuffPost Entertainment]

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Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News