Scientists Might Cure Cancer With Herpes

“Harvest me, bitches.”

According to Fusion, scientists are attempting to use the herpes virus to fight cancer which you’re free to read more about because my entire purpose here was to write a headline about it above bikini photos of Paris Hilton and then laugh smugly at my own cleverness until I realize she might be our most precious natural resource and then never laugh again for the rest of my life because this isn’t funny anymore. Do you see me laughing?

h/t Paul Ashby

Photos: AKM-GSI