Welcome to this week’s installment of The Most Important People on The Internet coming at you way earlier than usual because you were robbed of a The Crap We Missed and, fuck it, it’s Friday in the middle of July. So here’s your commentical goodness for the week excluding any What the hell’s up with Britney Spears‘ face? gems which I’ve been shoving into that post like so many Furnch Fries. You can practically hear her giggle if her face was capable of moving. Aren’t there laws against Botoxing the retarded? Because there should be laws against Botoxing the retarded. Get me Washington.
Alright, folks, Photo Boy’s off today, so The Crap We Missed will return Monday. So to make up for that, here are Devin Brugman‘s crazy awesome breasts and ass in a bikini which if I’m being honest, should make up for everything that’s gone wrong in your life. Divorce, unemployment, erectile dysfunction, the cure for AIDS being shot out of the sky, I could list things all day. The point is that was then, Devin is now. Live in the now.
Photos: FameFlynet, Splash News
Here’s Britney Spears leaving a gym with her mom yesterday – I’ll assume this is related. – and seriously, what the hell is going on with her face? Are they starving her? Because my money’s on starving her. And yet nobody’s going to do anything. But if she was a puppy, you’d all sign 20,000 petitions and storm her house with hot dogs on pitchforks. Sometimes, Internet. Some fucking times…
UPDATE: Huge thanks to blerg in the comments. This was bugging the shit out of me: More »
Because her husband has only spent nine days with her since their wedding and doesn’t want to ruin his streak, here’s Kim Kardsahian in Mexico this week where she let his rapists take exclusive bikini photos of her for fun and profit. Plus she also tossed a few shots to Instagram where she courteously used Joe Francis‘ pregnant fiance lying bloated and oblivious in the background to make her ass look better by comparison which is always a polite way to thank someone for their hospitality. Most people prefer it.
If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you already saw this yesterday, but you didn’t get to see it with sexy lingerie photos, so let’s all agree I blow dicks at social media. Anyway, Variety reports Deborah Ann Woll will play oddly-balding Matt Murdock‘s love interest Karen Page in Marvel’s Daredevil series for Netflix. Now, for those of you who get to experience the human log flume known as the vagina, Kevin Smith famously killed off Karen by having Mysterio trick her into thinking she has AIDS which means I’ve now written two posts that gave Donald Sterling a boner. I swear to God he’s not paying me.
Photos: Tyler Shields
While separatists armed by Putin almost definitely shot down Malaysia Airline Flight MH17 yesterday over the Ukraine, new information suggests far more sinister forces may be at work here. Buzzfeed reports:
More than 100 delegates and family members of the 20th International AIDS Conference, due to begin Sunday, were on board Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17, the Australian, the Star Observer, and the Age reported Friday morning local time.
That’s right. The top AIDS researchers in the entire world were on that plane. And who has AIDS? Magic Johnson. And who wants Magic Johnson to keep having AIDS and possesses an obscene amount of wealth necessary to strategically place Buk missile systems in European war zones? More »
- Even Miley Cyrus can avoid the paparazzi, Kanye. It’s your wife. [Lainey Gossip]
- And Kendra‘s pulling a Tori Spelling. Of course. [Dlisted]
- Bouncing Breast GIFs. Get on it. [theCHIVE]
- Whoreling 1 and Whoreling 2 are going to be wonderful adults. Just wonderful. [Fishwrapper]
- Hey, let the man dream of becoming a maxi-pad, alright? [The Frisky]
- Erin Andrews failed journalism. [WWTDD]
- Gracie Carvalhos in lingerie. [Popoholic]
- Drake said something about Macklemore apparently. [Starpulse]
- They should’ve got that real-life Elsa chick from Florida. [tooFab]
- Emma Stone thinks her dead grandfather leaves her quarters. [IDLYITW]
- Jesus Christ, Ann-Kathrin Brommel. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Kimora Lee has breasts. [Celebslam]
- Nicole Scherzinger can twerk. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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