Here’s Nick Cannon after visiting his kids yesterday where he surprisingly didn’t leave the building with a trident sticking out of his chest considering he’s telling people he’s the one who left because Mariah Carey is goddamn crazy. TMZ reports:
Nick has made it clear to all involved … he’s deeply concerned about Mariah’s emotional state and is ending the marriage for the well being of their kids. He believes the environment around Mariah is toxic and fears for his kids.
We’re told Nick believes his kids have already shown signs of emotional upset living with Mariah.
Our sources say Nick’s MO is simple … he wants to create an environment separate from Mariah that gives the kids a safe haven from the “chaos” at her home.
Nick is also telling his people he’s deeply concerned about Mariah’s mental health and believes her people don’t care about anything but her ability to make money and pay their salaries.
Of course, if you’ll notice the kids are still with Mariah, and she had a lovely, friendly dinner with Nick the other night because she has all the money and a vagina, so I hope he enjoys jumping through hoops. Although, these ones are only metaphorical which beats the shit out of those flaming ones that always scorched his tuxedo, but that bitch and her damn gun… Anyway, it’s important to stay positive. For the kids.
Photos: INFphoto, Splash News
We already know Kim Kardashian checked her phone during the Ferguson moment of silence at the VMAs and now comes word that she bailed before Beyonce‘s acceptance speech which, judging by the Internet’s reaction to Beyonce’s performance, practically makes Kim Hitler now. Assy Hitler. Hollywood Life reports:
An eyewitness source who attended the VMAs tells HollywoodLife.com EXCLUSIVELY, “I saw them leave before Beyonce started her speech. They were checked out for the whole show. They left right before she talked and Jay Z arrived to give her the award.”
According to Celebuzz, apparently Kim is so over Beyonce now because she bailed on her wedding and doesn’t think Jay Z‘s worthy to be friends with Kanye. Which is odd considering Kim’s done everything in her power just to sniff Beyonce’s hair and even made it into a blurry concert pic with her. So to give up now when she’s so close to locking her in an old refrigerator and drinking her blood (Can you tell I’ve been watching Luther?) just reinforces what I’ve always said about the Kardashians:
Let me know when Kylie’s 18. They’re lazy. Pure lazy.
- Gwen Stefani was at the Emmy’s too. I had no idea. [Lainey Gossip]
- Those are Paula Patton‘s nipples. [Dlisted]
- Downblouses: Somehow They Always Found Me [theCHIVE]
- Courtney Love looking her best still frightens my penis. [Fishwrapper]
- Nick Cannon‘s dad might be talking shit about Mariah Carey. [The Frisky]
- Suge Knight ain’t no rat. [WWTDD]
- Nicole Scherzinger in tight jeans makes the Ice Bucket Challenge palatable. [Popoholic]
- Kim Kardashian‘s breasts will collide with Kat Dennings’. [Starpulse]
- Ellen DeGeneres and Chelsea Handler showering together, anyone? Didn’t think so. I’m sorry. [tooFab]
- Sofia Vergara doesn’t give a fuck. [IDLYITW]
- Nina Agdal poses for Mambo. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Bianca Gascoigne is still in a bikini. [Celebslam]
- That’s Keira Knightley topless. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]
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Welcome to Tuesday’s The Crap We Missed featuring JLo doubling down on butt, because if you haven’t heard butts are the new tits. Except for Kim Kardashian. We still find her ass grotesque in every possible way and wish it would hurry up and eat her entire family as foretold in Revelations. We’ve also got Miley Cyrus instagramming screenshots from her dad’s gay-for-pay days and Paula Patton bouncing back strong from her marriage’s failure by going commando in a see-through dress in public.
“Daddy, look! Mommy’s boobies are on the TV!”
“That’s not your fault son. Sometimes mommies and daddies have to be apart for a while.”
“No, I know, she said she was going to show them to everyone because of your dirty thingie.”
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Yesterday, our server basically burst into flames, fucking a giant hole in our day and causing us to scramble to post what we could, when we could. So lost in that mix were Rita Ora and Kristin Cavallari who both showed up in small doses, but really deserved their own galleries because Jesus Christ. So here’s us righting that wrong and attempting to atone for putting Lena Dunham in the Emmys gallery. That was uncalled for. You have children, for God’s sake, we know.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, MPNC/AKM-GSI, Splash News
Most people consider homeless to mean poor, destitute, no place to turn to. So when Miley Cyrus brought a “homeless” date to the VMAs, it was just assumed that she picked this poor guy up off the streets where poverty had left him. Turns out he’s a struggling model whose mom says he can come home anytime he wants. Whoops. The Daily Mail reports:
Speaking from her home in Salem, Mrs Helt, mother to Jesse’s three brothers and sister, added Jesse chose to ‘go it alone’ and chase his dreams.
She said: ‘He wanted to be in Los Angeles and he had opportunities and he took them, but you know, he’s had his ups and downs like anybody else.
‘It was his choice, he was always welcome, he could always come back any time. If he needed help, I’d help him, we help one another,’ she added.
And if you’re about to say this is nitpicking, go ahead and ask a real homeless person what they’d do just to sleep in a clean bed let alone after a home-cooked meal because I’m pretty sure they’d apologize to their mom for doing drugs and breaking into houses in a heartbeat. In fact, they’d probably say, “Wait, that’s it?!” before stabbing you with a tin can for actually thinking they’d be stupid enough to pass that up. Goddammit.
Photos: Instagram / Getty
YO! Getcha ass up off my boy’s skeeball. AND STAY OUT DA BALL PIT. Tap Maple Zizzurp:
Justin and Selena Gomez were at Dave & Buster’s Monday night when a fan started taking cell phone pics and video of the two. Law enforcement sources say … Justin lunged at the guy … in an attempt to take his cell phone and presumably erase the pics and video.
Justin’s security held him back and he never made contact with the fan.
Police were called but before they arrived Justin booked it out of there.
Our law enforcement sources say the fan wants to press charges and Justin is being investigated … and the possible crimes are attempted battery, attempted theft (stealing the pics) and attempted robbery (grabbing the camera in an attempt to permanently deprive the fan of the pics and video).
Let me make this Crystal Light clear: ALL Y’ALL PHONES BELONG TO #BBARE. You may think you signin’ a contract with AT&T or Verizon or mothafuckin Sprint, but in actuality, you signin’ a contract to hand that shit over to #BBare if he don’t like you takin’ dem pictures. Ya see, sometimes my boy needs to have a quiet night with his girl like errbody else. Take her to dinner, get dat pussy with some Dave & Buster‘s as pussies do, and then drop dem panties with a Frosty on the way home. It’s a beautiful thing dat y’all up and ruin when you up in his face with dat cameraphone. And my boy coulda killed y’all, too, but you lucky he on parole. (And used all his bullets on Suge. WHAT.) So remember dat shit for next time: Let a nigga be Batman, man. Let him be Batman.
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