OSCARS: Okay, So Natalie Portman Won

February 27th, 2011 // 68 Comments

Despite predicting Jennifer Lawrence would win without ever seeing either Winter’s Bone or Black Swan – Seemed unnecessary. – Natalie Portman won the Academy Award for Best Leading Actress for her work in Black Swan. In an ideal world this would make lesbian ballerinas the new Holocaust, but The King’s Speech just won Best Picture as a multi-ethnic kid’s choir ended the show by singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” so clearly we live in a post-apocalyptic nightmare ruled by non-offensive horseshit.

“First they came for the lesbian ballerinas and I did not speak out because I was not a lesbian ballerina…”

Photos: Getty

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  1. DogBoy

    was kinda hoping Natalie would do that laugh again.

  2. teal

    First.

    Also, terrible, terrible decision. I was completely disappointed that such an uninspired act could win the award for best actress. Overall, the movie is sorely overrated.

    Great call on Colin Firth and The King’s Speech though (it’s quite the exceptional movie).

    • DogBoy

      FAIL on being FIRST d-bag.

    • gogo

      kinda agree on black swan being sorely overrated…it just doesn’t have a “core” so to speak, she doesn’t manage to build anything before twisting it on its head by becoming the black swan.. creative tension was supposed to be the main character in the story but alas we ..don’t get that at all. that s why natalie is spoiling it even more by trying too hard

      also, teal, you ll never be FIRSSSST..

    • Frobz

      Portman is one of the worst actresses I’ve ever seen. When she’s not reading her lines like a 16-year-old-girl, her “acting” is so wooden I wouldn’t be surprised to see a few lumberjacks hanging around her.

      • eatme

        yup, i have not seen black swan, but EVERY movie she has been in her acting is just laughably bad. i don’t know why everything is handed to her on a silver plate, but she is possibly the luckiest girl alive.

    • Burt

      Black Swan really isn’t that great of a movie. It’s overrated because of the setting. Simply put, people think ballerinas are innately dysfunctional, and so they evaluate the movie based on those preconceptions.

  3. Michelle

    She’s gorgeous, just glowing. She deserved to win, she must have been in physical agony training like a ballet dancer.

  4. SteveG

    Let’s call a spade a spade: Multi-ethnic is a stretch. The term is ‘one-droppers’, to quote Catwoman.

  5. Cate

    Anyone who saw ALL of the best actress nominees’ movies would agree that Michelle Williams deserved that Oscar. She was WAY better than Portman’s one-note performance.

    Either way, I have a huge crush on Portman haha.

    • Carissa

      I agree, completely! Michelle did things a REAL actress can do. Natalie stretched herself physically and that helped with her “psychological” portrayal. It’s something that gets awards. It’s either nude and sex, physical transformation, playing crazy, or politics that gets a win, not the best performance. Natalie had all those going for her. OVERRATED, and I honestly think the movie was crap.

      • Cate

        Well said. I was disappointed in Aronofsky as well. The Wrestler is one of my favorite films, and this film was a huge let down. Randy the Ram was such a great character study. Black Swan was beautiful, but i felt no connection to Nina.

        Natalie was good, just not as good as Michelle Williams. Real acting is the the subtleties.

      • Carissa

        Agreed, once again. I didn’t like Black Swan at all, though. She did move me with her crying scenes, I felt the pain. To be honest, for no depth into the characters, I thought it was Mila who really shined in it.

  6. noodle

    no, she has tits now. awesome!

  7. Marceelf

    That was a children’s choir? For entertainment?Oh hell, someone better tell Sandra Bullock to put that kid back, it wasn’t part of the actors swag after all.

  8. Dank

    If you didn’t think Black Swan was nothing short of incredible then you didn’t get it.

  9. Marceelf

    That was a children’s choir? For entertainment? Oh hell, someone tell Sandra Bullock to put that kid back, it wasn’t part of the swag after all.

  10. afsky

    Michelle Williams did NOT deserve an oscar, that movie was horrible. Black Swan all the way

    • Carissa

      Um, that movie was more honest and real than anything else that was nominated. Black swan didn’t know what it was and copped out by calling itself art and that the director was going for exactly what he delivered. It failed and anyone who thinks it’s epic or what have you is just liking something that’s dark and edgy without comprehending that it’s more high on itself than anything.

  11. oneone

    Charlie Sheen won best actor! I love that……more coke and sluts for the Academy old farts, on me!

  12. Natalie Portman Oscars
    DrunkRussian
    Commented on this photo:

    Natalie apparently had been using Crest White Strips, as only her front six choppers are white. How can a Best Actress have such poor attention to detail?

  13. “The King’s Speech just won Best Picture as a multi-ethnic kid’s choir ended the show by singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” so clearly we live in a post-apocalyptic nightmare ruled by non-offensive horseshit. ”

    Exactly. I bet Angelina and Sandra were pointing at various choir children and screaming “dibs!”…and then Madonna glided down from the rafters on a fell beast and murmured in a hissing voice “Do you not know death when you see it, old ladies…” ::whips out flaming adopted child:: “Taste my power!” ::gift bags explode::

  14. That Guy

    Oy vey.

  15. mintcake

    Yaaaaaay!!! GO NATALIE!!!!!!!!! I love Black Swan!

  16. Bilbobilbo

    I am happy to see there are people who think Natalie Portman is a great actress. I think the opposite. She was horrible in Star Wars and the best thing she ever acted in was the Professional and that was only because Jean Reno and Gary Oldman carried her throughout the movie. Can’t expect too much from a 12 year old’s first movie. I have to say going to Harvard and receiving a degree in psychology is truly a waist of time. She might as well have majored in basket weaving or table jumping. At least she would have actually spent time learning something useful that could actually benefit her and others in life. She should have spent the time and money on acting lessons but who needs to know how to act these days? She proved that by winning an oscar. Ohh well, I am still optimistic that talent will one day peek its head out of the shadows and remind us that we don’t have to rely on mediocrity to entertain us.

    • Bella

      A waiste of time? Well I am sure she knows that it is a waste of time. Sure grammar police on the web is naff but when you are down on someone for getting an education at least make sure you don’t spell words wrongly. Dick.

      • Milo

        “Spell words wrongly”? You can be “wrongly” accused, but here you want to use the term “incorrectly”. Looks like the internal affairs of the grammar police have to make sure the grammar police are doing their jobs correctly….

    • Bilbobilbo

      are you really going to penalize me on a misspelled word. That is all you can come up with. Am I less than any other person because of such? Give me a break. There have been U.S presidents that spelled worse than what I did in my comment. Still, don’t change the subject on my opinion of Portman being an actress that has no talent. Did I offend you when I gave my opinion. Like I mentioned in my fist sentence, I am happy there are people who like her because I have personally never seen her act well in anything. Hell, I actually quit watching V for vendetta because of her terrible acting. I think that movie is what made me decide that I will never watch another movie with her in it. With that being said. I have nothing against the black swan itself and I might have seen if it she was not in it. I also didn’t down her for receiving a higher education, Just that she went to Harvard for a psychology degree. Why go to a school like Harvard to major in psychology? She could have gone to an online University for that. Most psychology majors I have met are more screwed up than the average person without a college degree. I feel that if she had the potential (and money) to enroll and study at Harvard she could have applied herself better and received a degree in something more meaningful. I was a History major myself, not an English major. I could care less about my spelling unless I am writing a paper that is going to be graded. Well cry me a river and let me know when your pu**y stops hurting. Bye Bye!!!

  17. XYZ

    Absolutely predictable. There had to be a Jew to win in all that ceremony, right? Talentless, common to ugly, Zionist Natalie. Israel must be so proud, Zionist rejoice… Makes me sick.

  18. Himmler's Herpes

    Agreed…and to think, I ironed my brown shirt for this!

  19. me

    o.k.: SELL ALL YOUR BELOVED THINGS.

  20. congrats to natalie and her nerd fans lol, though who’s surprised hollywood gave it to the pregnant jew lol jk i’m mel gibson :) no seriously i miss when woody allen won everything. ok no but i did catch that best supporting actress and her brain fart speech. then had to crash early.

    i DID see jeff gordon win. that was an exciting finish and about fuckin time

  21. Natalie Portman Oscars
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    J A P
    She is very cute. Hope the guy she’s allowed to impregnate her doesn’t turn out to be a douchebag.
    I can’t speak to her “Black Swan” performance as I haven’t seen it yet, but she was terrific in the movie “Closer”.

  22. She is so beautiful it isn’t funny, and I do think she is a good actress.

  23. Frybread

    While I don’t think she’s a bad actor, she definitely is overrated. She hasn’t been great in anything since The Professional.

    • would love a matilde sequel, but only if someone took great care to make it as strong a story as the orig. and actors as convincing as reno and oldman. and presuming aiello’s still involved

  24. so you need to be a hot crazy paranoid bitch to play one to get an Oscar. Natalie Portman is that in spades.

  25. Bitch is Lame

    And

    She gets knocked up by a closet homo

    And

    She was not even engaged when she got preggers

    And

    Regardless of the wedding date, she will have an out-of-wedlock child

    Therefore

    She is a shining example for young girls everywhere

    • vitobonespur

      Who gives a flying fuck if she’s having an “out-of-wedlock child”? It’s her business. This is the twenty-first century, fer fucksake.

      Maybe you should ask some of the elders at the barn-raising.

  26. The only person I know of who actually saw Black Swan said it was boring as fuck. I suspect the high box office numbers are a result of every homosexual man in the US seeing the movie 10 times each.

  27. Still haven’t seen that flick.

  28. Arzach

    She got pregnant by a lesbian ballerina

  29. Langdon

    Not only did Natalie deserve to win this year, it was one of the best performances in cinema history. You guys need to go back to your Eminem records.

  30. sara

    wow the praise Portman and WIlliams are both reciveing is insane. Neither of these girls were exceptional at either of their roles. Michelle Williams characters are always the same, lifeless, soulless, boring, one dimensional people that somehow people like to watch. Natalie Portman, I have to agree, does pretty much always act like the same 16 year old character in a different setting in all her movies too.

  31. obregon

    Hey Natalie, got room in there for one more?

  32. evilkanivil

    i thought she was jew? but shes pregnant out of wedlock..hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

  33. Anya

    total plain jane, don’t see the fuss……can’t stand those shapeless eyebrows.

  34. Natalie Portman Oscars
    Sandra
    Commented on this photo:

    She is absolutely gorgeous, she makes pregnancy look good and she was great in Black Swan.

  35. FilmJenny

    Michelle Williams is a one note actress and did not deserve the oscar, nor even a nomination. Lesley Manville for her wonderful performance in Another Year should have been nominated and would have given Natalie Portman a run for her money. I’m happy Natalie won, but if Lesley would have been up for the award, I think it would have been a close run.

  36. Laura

    “First they came for the lesbian ballerinas and I did not speak out because I was not a lesbian ballerina…”

    I Loled and unfortunately I havent done that in awhile with your posts, superficial. very nice. keep it up.

  37. Noodle

    she deserved it. There’s just too much media coverage about how good she was, people are getting bored and sick with that.

  38. Ky

    One of the main reasons she won the academy award must be for the brilliant interpretation of the dance sequences.Sorry,I’m finding it very difficult to keep a straight face!!

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