Orlando Bloom Probably Cheated On Katy Perry With Selena Gomez

“Ugh, fine, yes, your hats are cooler than Johnny Depp’s. How is this Molly not kicking in yet?”

Because a Victoria’s Secret Angel and the finest boobs in the music industry aren’t enough for Orlando Bloom, he was spotted looking a hell of a lot like he’s making out with Selena Gomez on Saturday night even though he’s presumably still banging Katy Perry. He is a bastard from Hell, and we shall all rejoice in his slow death from dick cancer. Too much? Eh, I sat through Elizabethtown. We’re even. Via TMZ who also has pics we can’t afford:

It went down Saturday night at Light in Mandalay Bay — Selena had the after-party for her Vegas concert there, and sources in the club tell us Orlando was a surprise, late addition to the party … and made a major impression when he got there.
We’re told things got very “touchy feely” quickly before 23-year-old Selena and 39-year-old Orlando started neck-nuzzling and embracing in a booth. However, we’re told Selena absolutely went back to her room alone.

So there you have it, Selena Gomez made out with Orlando Bloom, then went back to her room to Skype Justin Bieber about it, because these fucking morons act like 15-year-olds when it comes to dating.

Katy Perry after seeing the make out pics: “Hello, John? You want to walk outside Chateau Marmont with me? Yes, you can touch them, but only over the bra, like always.”

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Photo: Roger / AKM-GSI