LAPD Investigating Knife Buried Outside O.J. Simpson’s House

According to TMZ, the LAPD have been secretly investigating a knife that was found buried outside of O.J. Simpson’s house after they learned an off-duty officer was literally trying to keep the thing as a goddamn souvenir and even asked for the case number so he could have it framed. Not that any of this matters because the cops can’t charge O.J. again if they wanted to, plus Cuba Gooding Jr. said The Juice is innocent, so that’s all the evidence anyone could possibly need. We have to focus on finding the real killer, you guys.

The story is incredible. We’re told a construction worker found the knife years ago — we have heard several different stories, ranging from “several years ago” to 1998, when the house was demolished.
The weapon is a folding buck knife.
Our law enforcement sources say the construction worker took the knife to the street, where he saw an LAPD cop. He told the officer where he found the knife and the cop took it.
Turns out the cop — who worked in the traffic division — was off duty at the time, working security for a movie shoot at a house across the street on Rockingham. Our sources say the officer took the knife home and kept it … kept it for years.
In late January of this year, after the cop retired from the LAPD, he contacted a friend who worked in LAPD’s Robbery Homicide Division (RHD). The cop told the friend about the knife and said he was getting it framed to put on his wall. He wanted his friend to get the DR (Departmental Record) number for the Nicole Brown Simpson/Ronald Goldman murder case, which he planned on engraving in the frame.

Jesus Christ. Now would be a good time to see if any cops in Boulder, Colorado are sitting around with JonBenét Ramsey’s killer framed in their den.

“Eh, my wife, she hates how it gathers dusts, but I just tell her that’s part of the job, hun. It’s just part of the job.”

I’m kidding, obviously. JonBenét Ramsey is alive and well and voting for Hillary Clinton per her Illuminati programming. △ ALL FOR SATAN, AND SATAN FOR ALL △ *bleeds from the forehead*

(I was promised virgins if I did that. Or Miley Cyrus, but ew, gross.)

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