Everyone Relax, Octomom Says Her Kids Aren’t Molesting Each Other. Wait, What?

And welcome to the exact moment all of this stopped being an only slightly horrible guilty pleasure of a train wreck to look at. TMZ reports:

The nannies do not say Octo personally sexually abused the children — but according to one of the nannies who spoke with CBS, “(One of the boys) would take (his sibling) away and take her to another area. And he would be touching her.”
“She never did (anything). ‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it.’ That was her attitude.” the woman continued.
According to the report, the nannies also claim they witnessed Nadya tie her eight newborns to their bed with cheese cloths around their waists to keep them from getting out of their cribs … and also blocked the door to the kids’ bedroom with a chair from the outside so she could nap peacefully.

In Octomom’s defense, child services has not locked her up after investigating the claims which she says are the result of the nanny’s wanting to take her eight kids for themselves which, in their defense, is the natural reaction to seeing who their mother is. I hate children and I almost tried to adopt them. Although mostly just to put them in a hot air balloon and release it out into the Pacific to give them an actual chance at life. Anyway…

“All of this is blatant lies,” Suleman says … telling us the nannies are trying to “sell lies” to the media because they’re upset Nadya and her family moved out far away from their former home.
Nadya says she had a bad feeling about the nannies — one in particular who developed a troubling obsession with her kids.
“[The nanny] wanted to do her best to KEEP my eight [for herself].”

Okay, this all sounds reasonable, but could Octomom maybe completely undermine her whole defense by saying something ridiculous. Let’s see that:

Nadya adds, “[The nannies] are hating because they can’t have what I have.”

And balance has been restored to the universe even though that potentially means her 14 kids really are molesting each other. Who wants ice cream?

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Splash News