It’s Octomom In A Bikini Because I Hate You

June 26th, 2012 // 140 Comments
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Octomom Bikini Porn Promo
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Presumably to promote her self-exploration cinema spectacular, or the now-cancelled stripper gig to promote said spectacular, here’s Octomom in Palm Beach posing for some just-released canned bikini pics. And if you’re looking at these going, “My God, who would have sex with this?” Dudes. Dudes will have sex with this. We’re disgusting. TMZ reports:

36-year-old Nadya Suleman arrived at LAX moments ago and her new boyfriend Frankie G picked her up outside. Frankie — a 23-year-old amateur bodybuilder — even gave her a peck on the lips when she arrived.
Sources tell us the couple’s been dating about two months and it’s getting serious — but the best part … when we asked Octo how they met … the burgeoning porn star replied, “Through church.” She wasn’t kidding either.

PASTOR: Dear Heavenly Father, as I come before you to prepare this week’s sermon, please fill me with your holy guidance and wisdo-
GOD: “Holy guidance and wisdom?!” Motherfucker, you let Octomom into my house. OCTOMOM. Comin’ in here after flickin’ her bean, all pickin’ up bodybuilders and shit. Bitch, you lucky I don’t give you leprosy!

(I bet you had no idea God talks exactly like Gwyneth Paltrow. I was surprised, too.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. KungFu Panda

    MY EYES!!!! AAAGGHHH THE BURNING!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!

  2. virginia

    shouldn’t she be on a pole? or in another sex video, since those are the only respectable jobs out there, so she can raise her 8 kids??

  3. Jon and Kate Plus Hate

    She really resembles uncle Fester. Someone give her a lightbulb to stick in her mouth !!1

  4. elephantman

    I just threw up in my mouth!

  5. Ruckus

    “The Stargate that is her vagina” hehehehehehe I dunno who on here said it, but I giggle every time I see her since

  6. Zombie love!
    It’s drivin’ me mad
    It’s makin’ me crazy, crazy…

  7. Dick Hell

    If you were forced to choose one which would it be, sex with Nadya or waxing and buffing John Travolta’s perineum? Suicide is not an option.

  8. SkyGod2.0

    Verily I sayeth unto you, if thee were to throw a hot dog into this fornicator, would it hit the sides of the hallway, or go straighteth into the 4th circle of hell.

  9. well I will now have to look at Jessica Biel’s butt once again to remove this from my mind… my hubby saw her vagina this morning apparently its frightening…

    • Kudos to you good woman! Allowing your husband to view another woman’s vagina places you on a special pedestal of which most men can only dream. I hope he treats you like the fine woman you are. On behalf of all married men, thank you for being you.

  10. Cher X

    And yay when the devil did decend upon the earth, he came in for the form of a fake-breasted demon with no belly button….

  11. Octomom Bikini
    Brought It
    Commented on this photo:

    Dead eyes.

  12. USDA Prime McBeef

    Something tells me she is completely unaware that she is fucking ugly. I feel like somebody needs to tap her on the shoulder or something.

    • virginia

      lmaoo!

    • Sven Golly

      Standing next to Nadya could elevate Rumer Willis to a 5. I can’t decide if that would be less painful than chin reduction surgery.

    • Cock Dr

      I believe she spent a whole pile of pre-babies money (obtained by means other than an honest day’s work I’m sure) on plastic surgery attempting to be an A. Jolie look alike.
      She is so fucking creepy with those Uncle Fester eyes.

  13. Octomom Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one of the kids took these photos?
    One of them doesn’t know how to get rid of dark circles under her eyes?

  14. Johnny P!

    A zombie Angelina Jolie with big, flapping baps.
    What did we ever do to you, Fish?!?

  15. Visible Ink

    Somehow still less terrifying than Paris Hilton as a DJ or a Spice Girls reunion.

    • doood

      i disagree. this trainwreck actually has eminent consequences that matter. very unlikely to have a happy ending

  16. Octomom Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s put a smile on that face

  17. LRonHoover

    And all the seagulls on the beach that day puked up their fish.

  18. Octomom Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, I’ve learned something about myself today.
    I will stare at double D tits no matter what they are stuck on.
    I hate myself.

    • Gin&Tonic

      I don’t know what to tell you, I’m the nations #1 tit-lover and I’m still flaccid after seeing these pics. flaccid and thinking about cancelling my florida summer vacation

  19. Zombie Legend

    Fish, Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer will hunt you down for this!

  20. Crazed Abandon

    The Bible said the Devil will have many forms. Didn’t say anything about many kids.

  21. Urvag

    It’s nice to see her as such a wonderful role model for her 500 children….

  22. Octomom Bikini
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    not the best angle.

  23. Octomom Bikini
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    And this is what a ZOMBIE in a bikini looks like… THANKS! BTW, Fish, up yours!

  24. suck it

    These pics are old, at least a week. C’mon Fish, you can do better! :: yawn ::

  25. I can be a heartless dick a lot, but I really feel badly for her kids that probably love their mother and will one day google her name and read all about this episode in American history. Makes me kind of sad to think about it.

  26. MyCoworkerIsHot

    I bet Frankie G is just trying to hook up with her to molest the kids. He looks nasty.

  27. kimmykimkim

    Ahhhh hell nah! Uh-UH!! Fuck you guys in the face!

  28. Octomom Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    In spite of my better judgement, I watched a scene from her “Home Alone” video yesterday.

    It was every bit as horrifying as you might expect. massive amounts of stretch marks and reconstructive scar tissue, combined with a vagina that looks like the result of a flesh eating bacteria infection.

  29. Octomom Bikini
    KAE
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, an explanation for Tropical Storm Debby.

  30. Octomom Bikini
    jeffiner
    Commented on this photo:

    her head looks like a play-doh creation with doll hair glued on top.

  31. tlmck

    It’s like somebody put Kim Kardashian and Bethenny Frankel into a blender and this is what came out.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      It’s like she climbed into the pod with Jeff Goldblum. OctoBrundle. Brundlemom.

      • Devilish Diva

        Maybe it’s just me, but does she look like she’s wearing a mask?..like her face is about to fall off? She looks like a character from The Twilight Zone.

  32. Listen up, Nadya…or perhaps you prefer Ms. Suleman. Or maybe Octomom? How about just Oct? Whichever…

    Here are a couple of tips about hair-styling: shampoo…and BANGS!

  33. Octomom Bikini
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    At ANY angle is NOT her best angle! Only way she looks good is if she disappears!!!

  34. Ruth

    I’m absolutely surprised that she spends so much $$$ on her hair and it still looks like that.

  35. Octomom Bikini
    ellie66
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn she needs some undereye concealer those dark circles make her look zombie like.

  36. Fish, why do you force me to confront the depths of my depravity? Yes, after half a doob, I would sex this thing, but do I really need that to be forced into my consciousness? This and the Deena Cortese photos are taking me to dark places of myself.

  37. Octomom Bikini
    Pepper's Pot
    Commented on this photo:

    her leg is all one width… kinda creeping me out.

  38. anonym

    she looks diseased, but I’d play with those funbags….. then proceed to fist fuck her loose vagina.

  39. Sliver

    With the cost of her new boobs, she could have afforded to feed her kids for 5 months. Sheesh. Soul-less.

  40. Octomom Bikini
    Hank Hill
    Commented on this photo:

    They call those kankles. LOL!

  41. Octomom Bikini
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    roflmao. You really should tell your “photoshopper” that they do a piss poor job. With Hi-Def I can see all the shading & lines. Sadly even with 75% of you p.shopped, you can still see the scars & saggy skin. Poor thang.
    Lookin’ possessed too. freaky

  42. Octomom Bikini
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    Crissy, I’d agree but she has too much saggy skin & fat for that. Nasty, just nasty.

  43. Octomom Bikini
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    No wonder her tits looked so big, the top is 2 sizes too big! Damn, can’t that nasty skank do anything right? lol

  44. Octomom Bikini
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    eeewwwww look at the wabbly skin, esp. on the thighs.

  45. Octomom Bikini
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    POSSESSED I tell ya!!!

  46. Octomom Bikini
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf??? Her ass cheek…wtf is with her ass cheek?????????Make it stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. Octomom Bikini
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a penis growing outta her tit!!! OMG why can’t I stop?????

  48. Octomom Bikini
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    OK I just threw up…time to go

  49. kman

    did he punch her in the face a few times when he picked her up too? fuck..

  50. Octomom Bikini
    Bette
    Commented on this photo:

    Poster child for ‘butt lifts gone bad.”

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