It’s Kim Kardashian’s Stupid Baby

August 23rd, 2013 // 76 Comments
North West First Photo
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When Prince George of Middle Finger was born, it took less than 24 hours before Kate Middleton and Prince William waltzed outside the hospital and let everyone take pictures of the kid for free with no strings attached. On the complete opposite end of that coin, let’s call it the ass end, North West was born over two months ago and only now, today, is anyone getting a look at her and only as a part of a ruse to boost ratings for Kris Jenner‘s talk show so it gets picked up by FOX. The kid can’t even crawl and already every adult biologically responsible for her care is using her like a goddamn poker chip. After the show, Kanye probably tried to use her to tip the valet. “Tell you what, you get my car before all these other people, and you see this baby? I’mma give it to you. Go on, give it a smell. What’s that smell like? Kim Kardashian, that’s right. Now hurry your ass up.”

Photo: FOX 5/People

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  1. Red

    A MUSTACHE!!!!!!

  2. Seascape

    I think they were going for the whole Jay-Z/Beyonce thing of not letting anyone see the baby for a while, which is cool for Jay-Z/Beyonce, not so much any of the Kardashians. Also I don’t know if the ratings stunt will work because I didn’t watch Kris’s show and now I’ve seen the baby. *shrug.

  3. Jon Pork

    No reason to call the baby stupid. Baby doesn’t have anything to do with the situation she’s in or how her parents act.

    • It’s more the gist of the post than Fish calling the baby stupid. It’s kind of like saying “this is the big deal that we just seeing NOW,” and “big deal, this is it. This is what all the fuss was about.” I agree with the post. The poor thing is going to be used right to death, and will grow up with issues never before seen. All about money. The whole Kim/Kanye relationship was all about money from the git-go. Surely you know by now that the Kardashians are vapid, useless attention whores? They make me sick. I’d like to trap them all in a big hole in the ground, put a four-holed, outdoor john on top of them and have people gleefully SHIT on them all day long :)

    • I see what you’re saying, but both of the baby’s parents are dumb as shit, so I don’t think I have very high hopes for this baby’s brain.

      • JC

        Intelligence is tied to genetics more strongly than almost any other heritable trait. Ergo, the kid’s gonna be as smart as a piss-stained mattress.

      • Except not…heritability in intelligence is a fairly disputed figure, and while heritability is more of a factor during childhood it becomes increasingly less important as a person moves into adulthood. Unless a child has a disorder tied to intelligence, environment plays a much more important role in the long run.

        That being said, I don’t think the kid is going to win in the environment department either…hopefully she looks at her family as examples of what NOT to be like. It does happen from time to time.

      • Poor thing was only born for a paycheque, just like the babies in strollers that “live” outside the Social Services building downtown, surrounded by two-legged shit, McDonald’s and cigarette smoke. Born for paycheques … sad.

    • Dirk Diggler

      I cant wait till kanye gets mad and chucks him at a paparazzi

    • Jon Pork

      I’m all for picking on Kim and Kanye since they ask for it, but there’s just no reason to call the baby stupid. She’s a 2 month old child incapable of understanding the situation she is in.

      If the situation is stupid, then say that, but not the baby.

      • Babies are stupid. Period. ESPECIALLY that fugly mug of a mutant. Kanye is primarily to blame for that poor kids visage… dudes head looks like a brown watermelon sat on end,.. puffy dipshit cheeks and all.

        ….fucking bleeding hearts all over the webz… /sigh

    • JungleRed

      Ever try to have a conversation with a baby? They’re all stupid.

    • elephantman

      I thought it was funny as hell!

    • To be fair, all babies are stupid.

  4. Cuddles

    At least I still don’t have to see Kim. Her fat ass needs Heidi surgery to lose the baby weight.

  5. Why is this site catering to the Kardashian attention-whoring. We start doing that and surely the terrorists will win.

    My philosophy (borrowed from the Simpsons)

    To stop those monsters, one two three
    Here’s a fresh new way that’s trouble-free
    Just dont look!
    Just don’t look!
    Just don’t look!

    • Why on Earth would this site NOT carter to the attention whoring? As long as we keep looking at it, even if it’s to post comments not to look at it, we’re supporting it. Fish isn’t posting this shit because he likes the Kardashians, he’s posting this shit because it gets hits and makes money. That’s his job. That’s why we come to this site.

      • I do NOT come to this site to look at vapid whores famous for a sex tape…. I visit for T&A pics of REAL women celebs. Simple. If Fish never posted another Kardashian I’d STILL be clicking through.. I’m pretty sure its the point that dude was getting at….

  6. Weeblo

    Kid has less of a diaper rash face than his dad

  7. goober

    That’s one ugly baby.

    • Kourt

      Yeah and that is an airbrushed picture!

    • have insomnia, passing the time and after viewing this, I wont sleep for f’n days! KK is very pretty. What creature did she copulate with to produce this little horror? The kid is ugly as hell. Yes, I said it, ugly.

  8. Why does this picture look like the kid is asking for help and someone to save her?

  9. Headline made me laugh.

    • Same here. Kinda wish Fish was writing headlines for the major news outlets. There’s a dash of “The Onion” in them but more raw and not as ironic.

  10. Baby can’t help it was born to two fucktards.

  11. Cock Dr

    A child does not pick its parents, so I’ll only do this once.
    MOO

  12. kazootime

    But stupid babies need the MOST attention!

  13. Not exactly the Gerber baby … I bet she’ll be smoking hot when she’s older, though

  14. BB

    Ugh…can you even imagine what a fucking asshole this thing is gonna be when it grows up?

  15. howie feltersnatch

    Tire on a chain for a gift?

  16. Rice

    Baby’s first words – HELP

  17. Yep…it’s a baby. *pokes it with a stick a few times, gets bored, wanders over to the creek to catch crawdads”

  18. Dr. JFever

    Is it my failing vision or does that poor little girl already have a unibrow?

  19. tom

    Who cares?

  20. Does anyone remember the “Seinfeld” episode – the one with the baby. Yea. That is exactly what comes to mind.

  21. Darling

    Usually I love the brilliant comments made by superficial readers but this is just stupid. Do you realize you are making fun of a baby? A BABY. Yes, her parents have shit for brains but calling her ugly and stupid is quite asinine.

    • I would normally agree: but the stupid parents made such a big deal of it. We’re only commenting with the snarky brilliance you love.

    • Yeah, I don’t think we’re making fun of the baby so much as we are making fun of how incredibly fucking absurd the Kardashians and Kanye have been about this whole thing.

      • I’m still going on record the baby is fugly. Stupid remains to be seen,… but Weasel has it right… with all the pomp those vapid whores put out, you’d expect a glowing gerber baby… not…. that.

  22. Little Tongue

    Hair removers of this wolrd rejoice! This is gonna be a HUGE customer! xx

  23. Deacon Jones

    Were the eyebrows photo shopped or is it me?

  24. caley

    “Please, God, no more photos! What have I done to deserve this!?”

  25. Kind of looks like Scott Disick. Kanye aint the dad.

  26. Robb7

    Just a ordinary lookin’ baby.

  27. feels like such a let-down

  28. anonym

    Man. The kardashian genes are strong.

    There’s hardly an ounce of Kanye in this baby

  29. Dr.J

    Fuck right off. That’s gay. Fucking famous people. Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtttttttttttthhhhhhhhhhh.
    (That’s a convention from Calvin and Hobbes where you stick your tongue out and make a disgruntled fart noise.) FUUUUck them. Fuck everyone who is a stupid weirdo. Don’t be weird. It’s not that hard. PBBBBBBTH.

  30. Completely dumb, hairy like an Armenian, and stupid like his father. What a waste…and illegitimate too.

  31. What?? No extensions yet?

  32. ffs

    Were the writers for this website vetted for fluency in English?

    Fucking seriously.

  33. mua

    With all that money and the way they love to rub their fortunes in us common folks’ faces, THATS the best picture they could come up with?? Its a fucking kardashien debut! This thing looks like something from a 3rd world country!

  34. Trex

    Kill it with fire.

  35. nikki

    Ok we seen the biracial mutt now what kim wish she was a black girl but all she is a whore I hope she die

  36. When you look at Prince William and Princess Kate’s kid..who was born a week before this kid was, then WHY is it that this kid..who is also supposed to be a “preemie” look WAY OLDER and obviously from the pic above is able to “reach for stuff” already? Knowing that family of spit bucket tramps this probably ISN’T even their kid..

  37. needAnAlias

    looks photoshoped.

  38. le rat accompli

    Idiocracy in full swing…

  39. Gingerpants

    Aww, it looks scared. It should…

  40. my 2 cents

    Everyone who said something mean about an innocent little baby is an asshole. I don’t care who the parents are, I don’t care if it is the baby of the nastiest person on earth, it is an innocent little baby. I have to assume that every asshat that said something nasty doesn’t have kids. If you do you must be one shitty parent. There is nothing wrong with that little baby and she will probably grow up to be a knock out. I am no KK or KW fan but they can’t be that damn stupid. They are ahelluvalot richer than us!

    • Trex

      What a sad scary world you must live in when a person’s bank account defines his or her worth as a human being. By the way, your ignorance is showing through your self righteous and indignant platitudes you stupid twat: “it is an innocent little baby.”

      To reduce the sweet adorable perfect wonderful daughter of KKK Kim Kardashian + Kanye) to an “it” rather than “she” reveals your deep seated loathing of this sweet child. How can you spew such vitriol on North West? Baby hater is what you are.

      Plus any moron who takes such pride in parenting obviously is a loser in every other aspect of life.

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