Nicole Richie and Mischa Barton hit the beach

June 21st, 2006 // 102 Comments

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Nicole Richie was spotted at the beach with Mischa Barton and it looks like she won’t be getting that Caribbean yacht cruise any time soon. At least she can take comfort in knowing a dog can’t tell the difference between healthy sexy women and 12-year-old boys. As long as you keep their food bowl filled they’ll pretty much make out with you for as long as you want.

More of Nicole and Mischa at the beach after the jump.


  1. hendero

    “Mischa Barton” and “Nicole Richie” sound the names of people, but all I see is some sticks washed up on a beach

  2. pinky_nip

    I think the dog wants to play fetch with them. Literally, like they look like sticks. Either that or gnaw on their bones.

  3. biggie17

    That is just not right….but why am i so turned on?

    Check out this site…this mofo is scalping your stories and jokes…

  4. hendero

    *sound like the names ….*

    D’oh, stupid rushing to be first…..

  5. There is nothing remotely attractive about these two women – I mean little girls – I mean little boys. They are so skinny it’s discusting. Sad really that they think being so skinny is sexy – it makes me get an upset stomach looking at their bones. Jesus, eat!!!!!!! Awful. As much as I think they’re slutty rival Paris Hilton is a hoe, at least she has meat on her bones and isn’t insecure about what’s healthy or not. I could go on forever but I’m going to stop – they’re gross.

  6. Lipgloss Assassin

    sticks and stones may be their bones but calories will probably kill them.


    Even Mischa Barton looks fat compared to her! :D

  8. kloo

    ewww someone cook up that little dog so that have something to eat.

  9. Italian Stallion

    “Big huckin chickens”………….

  10. Chicagoboy

    Nicole better be careful with that beach towel or a sea breeze might blow her away.

  11. leahdeadly

    I just have to point out that Mischa is a terrible actress. She just has really great hair.

  12. Chicagoboy

    a couple of pieces of drift wood washed up on shore

  13. pinky_nip

    Spring Break in Ethiopia!

  14. waterranger

    ewwwwww im getting creeped out just looking at that last picture, its like out of horror movie. One with life-sized bugs, you know those ones that look just like sticks so you can’t see them until they move? Could you imagine walking along the beach and all of a sudden the sticks on the beach start MOVING and TALKING??!!

    So Creepy.

  15. booface

    Where’s her scarf?

  16. Chicagoboy

    No tits, no ass, arms and legs that you can snap in two with a flick of the wrist. . . Yep, just how I like my women! Which reminds me, got to book my bi-annual trip to Ethiopia. . .

  17. jane's eyre

    Nicole barely cast a shadow anymore.

  18. radio4play

    What the hell is the matter with you? This is 4 day old news! You suck! First you give us Jenny and Jim now this, what a let down.

  19. Fugurself

    In the top pic why does Mischa have the facial expression of someone who just had a turd shoved under her nose?

  20. blueballs

    Must have been the monthly meeting of the “Anorexic/Bulemic Girls Club” Concentration camp survivors had more mass on them than these two over rated hollywood celebs

  21. If those skeletons don’t use some sunscreen they are going to bleach their bones.

  22. blueballs

    #19. Mischa has that look because she is downwind from Nicole who just ripped a paint stripping fart.

  23. PapaHotNuts

    You don’t see that Barton chick in three of those pics because she is hiding behind a grain of sand.

  24. pinky_nip

    I’ve seen more meat on a White Castle hamburger.

  25. crazybananas

    this is soooooooo old news!

  26. PapaHotNuts

    I’m not a nutritionist by trade, but I know a sure-fire way I can put about 205 lbs of weight on each one of those tricks.

  27. whackjob

    Using advanced photo imaging software readily available on the web I was able to determine the following markings on the bikini bottom tag:


    Suitable for use by
    anorexic skeletors only.

    Laundering Instructions:
    If worn by Nicole Richie
    must be disposed of by
    qualified HazMAt individuals
    only (extreme risk of

  28. jane's eyre

    It’s pretty sad when the Pomeranian weighs more than Mischa and Nicole combined.

  29. Queen LaQueefah

    #11: Mischa Barton does not have great hair, she always wears it parted on the same side because she has a cowlick that not even thousands of dollars in hair products and skilled people can’t fix, and it squares off like she’s got a Frankenstein-shaped skull. Seriously, her FACE is pretty (I’ll give her that), but everything else is TOW UP! Plus she’s a total cunt to her own mother and dates a guy she probably picked up at some heroin hut. Also, not only does she look like a stick, but her thespian talent resembles a stick as well. Why is this woman famous? Someone please tell me! She can’t do ANYTHING! At least Nicole Richie chased Paris Hilton around with a bunch of cow shit on her arm, she has somewhat of a personality.

  30. The Jenny

    ha ha, you can see Nicole’s tag. DORK!

  31. dosita

    ha. jane’s eyere, you always crack me up! how many men genuinely find this look attractive? ever? don’t most men like some hips and ass-curves?

  32. cruzin333

    I hate to say it, but I’m so bored with the superfish right now, I’m actually reading stories like this…

  33. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Skinny girls are the best because they’re always eager to please, their brains are malnourished so they’re easily manipulated, and their bodies are feeble and weak which makes it hard for them to escape bindings of rope/ duct tape. Besides, fat chicks are gross.

  34. RichPort

    What’s Mischa Barton doing with that fat bitch?

  35. leahdeadly

    Oh Queen…that sounds like jealousy to me :o)

  36. Fugurself

    #22 that is too funny. I almost choked on my lunch…

  37. CruisingForCock

    @26 Papa, I need to put on some weight.

  38. I had to remind myself what a woman was supposed to look like after seeing Ms. Ethipia’s at the beach. Check this out.


  39. Libraesque

    JESUS, my eyes are bleeding, what is up with those flaps where her tits and ass should be?????

  40. TrannyGranny

    Allright, that didn’t work either, but it would have been awesome. Trash away!!!

  41. andrewthezeppo

    Nicole looks much better than last summer.

  42. Agatha

    Flotsam and Jetsam?

  43. notalotjellytot

    where did it all go wrong. i am sitting at a computer looking at pictures of two emaciated dorks, criticising their every particle but they’re the ones on the beach earning millions by breathing.

  44. BoredStiff

    I,d do Nicole. But then again, I am a scoutmaster and a Pastor for a Boys only Sunday school!!!

  45. jane's eyre

    Your answer would be: only pedophiles who don’t have access to children find this look attractive. It’s really the best of both worlds for them. They get to screw something that has the body of a child, most likely doesn’t get periods anymore, and bonus! No jail time.

  46. TaiTai

    Nicole Richie looks like a prop from “Pirates of the Caribbean.”

    yo HO HO

  47. RichPort

    I think Nicole rubbed Alpo on her lips so she could get the dog close enough to eat.

    #38 – Thanks. Now I can’t get up from my desk for about 10 minutes…

  48. gsprescueguy

    47 – Outstanding!

    I thought that there would be a picture of Sally Struthers in the background (I hope she is alive) begging for money to feed these two little refugees that washed up on the beach.

  49. Kim

    Nicole is so fat. in the side shot, you can see her fat ass hanging out over the top of her bkini. I hate when girls let themselves get fat like this. it’s just gross.

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