Nicole Kidman is engaged

May 17th, 2006 // 81 Comments

Nicole Kidman hosted the 30th Anniversary gala for UNIFEM on Saturday and confirmed that Keith Urban was not only her date, but also her fiance. She tells People magazine: “He’s actually my fiance. I wouldn’t be bringing my boyfriend.”

It’s about time Nicole Kidman finally made her move against Tom Cruise. Besides abandoning their children in a warehouse somewhere, she’s yet to make a move in this epic struggle of one uppism. If she’s going to top Katie Holmes giving birth she better come up with something fast. Like doing it with Keith Urban and then releasing a statement detailing how much larger Urban’s penis is than Tom Cruise’s. And how much more enjoyable sex is with somebody who doesn’t ask you to put on a fake mustache and cowboy hat.



  1. East Coast


  2. Tracie

    Strange how Kidman decides to make this announcement right after admitting she still has feelings for Cruise. I think the ONLY reason she made the statement about Cruise is because she misses seeing her children. It seems very obvious that Cruise is in total control of their lives and, if and when Kidman gets to see them. Kidman then HAD to admit she was engaged to hold on to Urban, who must be extremely befuddled as to why Kidman could have remained married to a homo for 10 years in the first place. Whew!

  3. eatmyass_sherry-co

    Her plastic surgery is also starting to look odd. Something with the eyes and definitely the cheeks. Ick.


  4. BirdDog


  5. (s)AINT

    FIRST…..i dont care about nicole kidman as much as i like being FIRST

  6. MistressSupernova

    Another vertically challenged beau. She’s really committed to spawning midgets no matter what.

  7. For some reason I watched Batman and Robin, it was pretty f-ing lame.

  8. Pixiestixanthrax


  9. eva86

    first? they make a nice looking couple

  10. Astriastar

    woohoo! First!!!

  11. trophywife

    First?? All I have to say is KU is a fine piece of ass and has some great pipes. TC pales in comparison… hubba hubba

  12. sbi13


  13. ladywillow


  14. tamtamtam

    katie holmes is such as step down from nicole kidman. did you see ‘to die for’? kidman was gorgeous in that.

    not that tc would notice. cock-lovin dude that he is.

  15. trophywife

    and thanks SF.. that fake mustache thing was fucking HILARIOUS…. yet sad because I can picture that midget actually saying that…

  16. Feed_Me_Chocolate

    It must be nice to be with someone who doesn’t throw up after having sex with you. Because TCLTC. (and that’s NOT “Cunt”)

  17. Jacq

    In related news:
    No one gives a fuck.

  18. MiamiGoldenPantherr


  19. Judge Smails

    He needs a haircut and a Fresca.

  20. MiamiGoldenPantherr

    Good for her, she deserves to get her groove on too

  21. Mr. Fritz

    I hope I make the top 5. TCLTC!

  22. BigJim

    She may be getting married to him, but she told me she’d still be seeing me on the side.

  23. SpazzCat71

    The sad thing is, you really DON’T see her with the kids anymore, but boy there are PLENTY of pictures of Tom Cruise (TCLTC!!!!) and Katie Holmes playing “proud parents” on the sidelines of practically every game. From the notoriety of those two only though, not because they are supporting the kids–which is even sadder. I bet child psychologists make a killing on therapy for Hollywood kids…….

    And I burned my retinas thinking of Nicole with a mustache and a cowboy hat–*shudders*–even though we all know Tom does love the cock!

  24. Ez-EEEE

    whats wrong with her head?

  25. speechless

    why is she LOOKING at him like that?! nicole kidman freaks me out dude… i mean, i guess i have to ask myself how i would act having been married to a crazy, cock-loving dude like tc. maybe her freakishness is a natural chemical reaction.

  26. Ez-EEEE

    how gay… a filter?
    so not coming back to this site.

  27. hotintempe

    Good for her.

  28. krisdylee

    I’ll be seeing you on the side, BigJim…

  29. pinky_nip

    I guess I’m banned.. WTF?

  30. here

    Judy, from “Punch and Judy” or perhaps middle aged Jack Nicholson wearing wig – I’d prefer never again to see that immense forehead,cheek,chin, and nose combo in silhouette, not even Halloween or summer-stock theater season.

  31. Proteon

    When asked what it was about Urban that first attracted her to him, Kidman responded “I got a glance into his purse – he uses the same eyeliner, lip gloss and hair product as me; talk about a perfect fit!”

  32. PapaHotNuts

    Keith Urban is dreamy.

  33. Congrats to Nicole. They seem like a nice enough couple. At least, not nearly insane as her lovely ex, Tommy Cruise.

  34. Binky

    Urban’s an Aussie country singer, but, like hasn’t Urban Cowboy been done ?
    I understand many of his tunes are based on the early Australian Westerns, where the lone kangaroo wrangler hops into town, armed with a boomarang, in search of truth, justice and, mmm, some water…
    Of course Nicole knows ‘quirky’

  35. Octagon666

    Is it me or is Nicole getting more and more Meg Ryan? There both looking kinda scary nowadays.

  36. Haroof

    Why is it she looks over 45 in all her photos?

    I know she’s not that old yet, but damn she’s hitting the way too soon.

  37. I guess Nicole was tired of being married to fags. Oh wait, nevermind….

  38. Ari

    Aww, glad she finally found someone who comes up higher on her than her cleavage. Maybe he even appreciates her cleavage, unlike Tom Cruise. Because TCLTC.

  39. Jacq

    I bet Tom wishes he could ride a cowboy.

  40. What’s with her and short men? I mean, is she the only woman who actually prefers small penises?

  41. Kokroach

    She still looks like a rectal suppository.

  42. ellaminnowpea

    Maybe her gaydar is broken….

  43. tinkerbelle

    ugh, very sick of her, very. she’s starting to get that poofy stretched look that meg ryan has mastered. too many botox injections.
    never saw meaner eyes behind such a beautiful visage.

  44. morokolli

    why is this woman insisting on the blonde hair, it makes her look 50

  45. libertarienne

    I just can’t seem to give a damn…wait, hold on…mmmmmm….nope.

    Maybe this one won’t be a closeted gay control freak who LTC.

  46. gas_up_the_hrududu

    She’s got one evil-looking smile in that photo. I can only imagine the conversation.

    Keith Urban: Oh Nic, honey, I just lurve you so much.

    Nicole Kidman: I want to eat your face.

  47. DancingQueen

    Keith Urban is hot AND he’s a good singer. Go Nicole! No more crazy closeted homosexuals for you my dear.

  48. Libraesque

    She has nothing to compare his peenie with, she never saw TC’s.

  49. kaileykat

    She does *so* have something to compare it to . . . the strap-on that Tom Cruise made her wear while they were married.

    She’ll probably find that Urban’s isn’t nearly so big or veiny.

    Because . . . (I’ve been waiting for a good excuse to be able to throw this one in)

    Tom Cruise loves the cock!

  50. omg who gives a crap!!! its been so long since they split and i think tom cruise has dated about 5 people before he shacked up with this dumb git!!! nyways i just read the other day that nicole kidman still loves tom cruise? strange…i never liked her anyways,but now i think tom has lost the plot.i mean what the hell was all that on oprah??if that wasnt put on i dont know what is!!! actually come to think of it…has he won an oscar lately? cos if not that performance definately deserves one!!!
    ah what would we do with our time if it werent to slag off the rich and famous (hehe)!!!

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