Jessica Simpson is Gonna Love This

August 4th, 2011 // 30 Comments

Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are trying to have a baby! Whee! *calls up broker* Put all my money in butter. You heard me. E! News reports:

So just how soon can we expect the cuties to start trying for kids of their own?
“I’m doing everything I can,” Lachey joked while promoting his reality competition show, NBC’s The Sing Off. “Trust me, it would make me happy. Family is very important. It’s very important to us. and I’m sure that will be around the corner.”

For those who don’t know, back in November, Jessica Simpson forced her boyfriend Eric Johnson to propose to her less than four days after finding out Nick proposed to Vanessa. It was so bad, Jessica bought her own ring just to speed shit up, so I can’t even imagine how she’s going to react to this news. Granted, she doesn’t know where babies come from, it’s only a matter of time until she finds out you don’t make them by cashing out your mutual funds and putting the money in Eric Johnson’s trunk. Eventually Ashlee will say something about Bronx coming from, “I dunno, some guy,” and Pete Wentz making a frowning unicorn with his Light Bright when she told him. It’s bound to happen.

Photos: Flynet

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  1. Elihu Tarelton

    Domino’s Pizza just got an order for 20 pizzas an hour for the next two weeks somewhere in SantanMonica

    • Honest Abe

      DOUBT SHE MISSES HIM!! An article on the Frisky.com about the “16 Celebs who are supposedly bad in bed”, tells of Jessica talking about his small package. To quote the article, ” Like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I really didn’t feel much.”

      I’ve got plenty Jessica… call me…

      • lydiav

        If she’s smart she’ll invest in ice cream and fried dough and never marry again cause Eric will just clean out her bank account!
        She’s pretty to look at, I just can’t stand to hear her talk!
        I am a 28 years old doctor, mature and beautiful.and now I am seeking a good man who can give me real love , so i got a username sammyshine2002 on–a’ge’l'ov’e'r.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!

  2. dee cee

    She’s lonely and needs a man.. I say let her go on with her life in peace, K? Nick was equally guilty of wanting fame and wealth and not taking control of their life and helping her to cope with fame.., beautiful Jessica even if she has rocks for brains was the only way he got a foot in the door.

    • PoorMaryKelly

      She’s engaged so she’s gotta man. For how long is a different story.

    • Colin

      Are you kidding? She barely even had a career when they got married, and Nick was still with 98°. Their marriage jump started her career and ruined his.

  3. Honest John

    Ben and Jerry’s stock has also gone up and management has no explanation

  4. DogBoy

    Vanessa: If Nick can’t get the job done, call me. I promise I’ll only take up a minute of your time.

  5. My Left Nut

    I’m available as a stud man.

  6. Steelerchick

    For some reason all I can picture when I see her is her big ugly hairy snatch!!
    Hope she shaves it probably makes delivery much nicer.

  7. BL

    Its funny how every article about this dude is actually really about his billionaire ex wife supposedly crying over his sorry ass. Somehow I doubt it but you gotta write a story right?

  8. s'up bitches

    Whenever I see that “Fingerhut” ad, I think of a finger in a vagina, and that makes me giggle.

    • TomFrank

      Whenever Jessica Simpson sees that Fingerhut ad, she thinks of pizza pies in the shape of fingers. And that makes her hungry.

  9. Nick Lachey Vanessa Minnillo
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    How the hell are they going to have a kid when they’re clearly in the “Sterile Area”?

  10. Willy Ketchum

    Santa Monica KFC just tweeted a 40 bucket order for Jessica

  11. Longshot421

    All this is nice, but let’s get to the heart of the matter: Vanessa’s boobs will be HUGE if she gets pregnant. That’s the really important part(s).

  12. smelly samuel

    Stock in Idaho potatoes has also curiously shot up , according to the stock news

  13. Fish, when you call back your broker about that Haagen Dasz stock, have him explain to you that mutual friends and mutual funds are two different things and you can only cash out the latter. You can, however, put both in a car trunk.

  14. And if the sign in the background is any indicator, that baby’s gonna be a long time coming.

  15. Nik

    The best is if Eric says that this shit is getting out of control and dumps jessica

    jessica will become so large that she’s block out the sun

    Spartan: “Then we will fight in shade!”

  16. Nick Lachey Vanessa Minnillo
    BJN
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her long resort dress. Anyone know the label?

  17. the one

    she hates mature american men who are walking on ladies slippers!!

  18. lol

    Jess is fine. Nick & Vanessa need Jess to draw attention to them. IF not for Jess it would be NIck & Vanessa who. Thye started out wanting private wedding then needed money so they sold out. Vanessa needed to compete & still does with Jessica.. ya know she irons her sheets right? lol Most of her tweets are in direct contrast to the Newly WEDS & that is to try to show everyone she is so much better then Jess or thinks she is.. She is desperate to be accepted & rather then actually be herself she is hell bent on discrediting Jess as she ever existed. Now that is sad. IF Nic k learned anything frm his marriage with Jessica I would hope it would be to stop the put downs of his wife & hopefully be faithful & more understanding. FAITHFUL would be huge for NICK.

    • Puhlease

      Jessica, I am amazed you put your KFC down long enough to type this shit out. Or did Daddy help you construct this long-winded nonsense?

  19. Looking at Minillo makes me long for a Pineapple and a glass of Hawaiian Punch served to me by Swarzennegers maid. That is what she will look like in 10 years. Simpson is for more hotter then this slag and Im guessing much better in bed.

  20. Babycakes

    Jessica may not be a talented singer, actress, or whatever the hell she does, BUT the girl has a billion dollar a year brand name with her line of shoes, handbags and clothes. I love her shoes and the clothes are nice too! If she’s smart she’ll invest in ice cream and fried dough and never marry again cause Eric will just clean out her bank account!
    She’s pretty to look at, I just can’t stand to hear her talk!

  21. Nick Lachey Vanessa Minnillo
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm, I can kind of see her areola through that dress.

  22. BetaGiveaways

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