Kris Humphries’ Rebound Made A Sex Tape Called ‘The Anti-Kim’

August 13th, 2013 // 39 Comments
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Myla Sinanaj was Kris Humphries‘ rebound after Kim Kardashian ended their fake marriage contract early and she’s already demonstrated such Kim-like skills as sloth and lying out her ass, so why not add a sex tape and complete the whole package? Plus it’s not like it’s hard to sell one these days because they’ll literally buy them from anybody. Anybody. (Those link to Farrah Abraham and Sydney Leathers in case you didn’t get the joke. I might have been too subtle.) TMZ reports:

Myla has gone all single white female and filmed her own version of a Kim K sex tape — called the “Anti-Kim Kardashian XXX” — hoping its release will make her millions and land her a reality show.
TMZ obtained a clip of the tape … it shows how obsessed she is — you see Myla watching the KK / Ray J video in the background as a Kris Humphries look-a-like bangs her to a fare-thee-well.
Myla does say, “Turn that off … I can do better than that.” But still …
The one thing that does set Myla apart from KK — she loses her “backdoor virginity.” It’s a place Kim never went … at least on camera.

Two things:

1. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Farrah Abraham actually set the bar for all future sex tapes, and that bar is butt sex. The bar is made out of butt sex.

2. If you’re going to call your sex tape “The Anti-Kim Kardashian” shouldn’t the final shot be Myla peeing on the dude and then not trying to land a reality show? Because that’s the only scenario I could come up with that would be the exact opposite of Kim besides getting an education and doing something with your life that doesn’t rot the very soul out of this country like some sort of mustachioed gut cancer. (I was never good with antonyms.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. More Sir Please!

    I think the most important question that can be posed is: “Why does Kris Humphries have such shitty taste in women”?

    • More Sir Please!

      You know what else you can do? Kill yourself.

    • Castle Bravo

      Virginia, why don’t you try leaking your own anal/pee sex tape. You could suck your own shit smear off some 4th rate rapper’s dick while smiling for the camera just like Kim.
      Kim is now worth millions. Certianly that’s al ot more dosh than what you CLAIM you made online.

    • Pat C.

      yeah, he sure can pick ‘em.

  2. summit

    Just tell me when I can torrent this and I’m there

  3. I am sad and embarrassed for this chick. She has entirely too much misplaced self-confidence.

  4. Colin

    If she was the anti Kim Kardashian, shouldn’t it be someone who isn’t a sasquatch?

  5. I’m not sure I could stomach doing a blow-by-blow review of this one. woof.

    • Rasputin's Evil Twin

      McFeely, after your heroic work dishing on the Farrah video, you’re excused. We’ll try to find another volunteer with a strong stomach and some free time, but it’s hard to imagine anyone doing it was well as you did.

    • I don’t know why you can’t McFeely. Hell you spend all of your time on here forever trying to be a ” Superficial top poster” or some shit as well as doing everything else because you don’t have a life..

  6. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Tomahawk Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    you can put lipstick on a rhinoceros but it’s still a rhinoceros

    • Rasputin's Evil Twin

      Yes, but don’t you see – IT’S A RHINO WEARING LIPSTICK! That’s the whole Kardashian marketing scheme in a nutshell. When you’re selling nothing, tart it up and claim it’s worth looking at.

      Isn’t the 21st Century wonderful?

  7. Griefer

    I guess these girls don’t feel they are really having sex unless they’re getting their backdoors opened. We have come a long way.

  8. I wonder how many Leeloo Multi Pass’s you can fit into that get up

  9. elephantman

    I’d hit it. But then again I am the Elephantman.

  10. So now someone who banged someone who, for a time, was banging someone who got famous for releasing a tape of her getting banged by someone else banged yet another someone who only *looks like* the second someone—on tape? I guess in the future all of us will be porn-stars for fifteen minutes. *checks moustache in the mirror*

  11. Weeblo

    Wobbles for sure

  12. anonymous

    The must be a line a mile long of black guys laughing at her claim of losing her “backdoor virginity” on this sextape.

  13. Isn’t the anti Kim Kardashian a woman without a sex tape?

  14. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what I get for saying I wanted to see john leguizamo dressed as Kim Kardashian…

  15. Oh! I had mine on upside down. Now I see, I had my head stuck in a leg hole bandage.

  16. Derek Zoolander

    “Urf, what a disgusting pig”

    “You say she takes it up the ass?”

    *contemplates her sexiness potential*

  17. des davy

    she should really hit the gym and especially focus crunches. After that, she can make an appointment to the hair salon and fix that awful black haircolor. She looks like she should be one of the Jersey shore cast members- tacky, classless and a chubster

  18. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    des davy
    Commented on this photo:

    cover your mid-section honey

  19. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    laci b
    Commented on this photo:

    squat stumpy, squishy….have you ever seen a gym?

  20. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    jessi j
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, now check out the gut on her?

  21. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    ms.chrissy
    Commented on this photo:

    agree, what a slob….i bet eating is her hobby

  22. I would like to personally thank Farrah Abraham for making anal in a sex tape mandatory. You’re doing god’s work.

  23. Moby

    I’m confused… Greenpeace did a porno?
    ’cause that bitch is a whale.

  24. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Myla Syphyl-vag?

  25. RubberBandMan

    I’ld download and watch the tape, but I wouldn’t buy it.

  26. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    hamlett
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she found elements 6-19…and ate them.

  27. Myla Sinanaj Bikini Kris Humphries Ex Girlfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    myla is no kim!! she’s ugly!! tell her to get her clothe’s on and don’t show that body again wanted to throw up!

  28. Bitchez be Hatin

    lol jesus. this is so embarassing.

  29. lagirllovesaruba

    oh no, i’m so embarassed for her, i agree that she has misplaced confidence…what a chubster

  30. This woman is just gross and fat. She has done her best to emulate KK’s appearance but obviously doesn’t have the money to do so and has nothing to work with. Just a fat, ugly fame-whore 3x removed from the fame-whore that is the source of her “fame”.

    There are varieties of mold whose existence are of more value and who would be more greatly missed than this brand of sub-human trash.

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