MOTHERF#%&ER!

September 24th, 2010 // 106 Comments

“By day’s end, I will have my laugh at all of you.”

So Lindsay Lohan‘s getting out of jail. Momen-fucking-tarily. TMZ reports:

Judge Fox ruled earlier today … Lindsay could be held without bail. But apparently the Judge’s ruling flies in the face of California law, which gives defendants the right to bail in misdemeanor cases.
Judge Patricia Schnegg, Assistant Supervising Judge for the L.A. County Criminal Courts, just threw Judge Fox’s bail decision out the window. Judge Schnegg has set bail at $300,000.
Lindsay, who is in Lynwood Jail right now, should get out soon … probably in a few hours.

As a small consolation, Lindsay is forced to wear a SCRAM device again which would be awesome if, oh I dunno, anklets had the ability to prevent drug addicts from hitting baby strollers with a moving vehicle. Last I checked they mostly just dangle around your foot, but maybe science’s advanced since the last time I saw one. At any rate, I’ll be planting large quantities of explosives in the San Andreas fault and praying to a God who clearly doesn’t exist to help me exact his vengeance on a modern day Gomorrah. Adieu.

(Side Note: I am never doing a Quote of the Day post again. Seriously, if I had a daughter, that thing would be in her bedroom right now. That’s how bad it backfired.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. vhw

    america, fuck yeah!

    • Hugh Gentry

      fuck you lilygreen. nobody wants to read your fucking spam.

    • dum6 bl0nd3

      Hugh Gentry, sir, I salute you.

    • LD

      You people are special.

    • whatthefkr

      kiss my ass lilygreen, you can have all the assholes that want to mix, just keep them away from me, any way what is the big fuckin deal with Lindsey, so the fuck what? If she was an NFL football player all of you righteous people out there would be crying cause she was forced to miss a game. Give the bitch a break and if she wants to pay to keep our american economy going, who gives a shit. just think everytime she buys her shit, a new cadillac suv is bought. worry about something that matters people.

    • Jane Goodall

      Keep your beastiality websites away from here you disgusting pervert.

  2. Bow Down Assholes

    Are those hoof beats I hear? It’s cool. I’m meek, I’ll inherit the earth. Enjoy the rapture suckers!!!!!

  3. Hugh Gentry

    what a lucky cunt.

  4. Froghammer

    Well, it was an admirable attempt on the judge’s part. Call it a common sense ruling.

  5. Wish they had announced this before I shelled out all that money for my “Lindsay Behind Bars!” themed cake. Dammit…

    • Bow Down Assholes

      I did the same thing. What saved me was I just shit on a cookie sheet and wrote “About Time Whore. When is Momma Joining you” with a ketchup bottle. Good message and extremely cost effective.

  6. RasputinsLiver

    *

    ………….*sigh*……………..Jezzus fuckin’ Christ.

    *

  7. Kristina

    she looks cute. but seriously… what a lucky cunt.

  8. Just have the cops sit outside the bar. It shouldn’t be long before she’s back in the slammer.
    And, yes, god is dead!

  9. Chaubacca

    The judge is saving the public money. Just let her do her shit…she should be dead in a few months…

  10. Don’t beat yourself up. Just accept that there is justice only in the afterlife.
    God isn’t dead, just bored with us.
    Once again I state the obvious: this will only end in death for ah innocent.

  11. friendlyfires

    some dumb-ass no-life motherfucker who reads this comedy is gonna’ think themselves a hero and plow into her and the paparazzi surrounding her with an explosive laden SUV – and Paris will have the last laugh, but accidentally die choking on false eyelash – so in for humanity in the end.

  12. frcrkr

    Ha ha ha ha! You had faith in the California legal system?!?!

    • crkr EXACTLY what I thought when I saw this. The California legal system couldn’t put OJ away, can’t keep hilton and Lohan in jail, and we expect more from them? The Judicial system in Cali is a joke.

  13. can’t wait til this bitch ends up dead in a dirty motel room from a coke over dose…since the fucking courts can’t/don’t want to keep her contained…

  14. Never fear friends because of this she is going to be sentenced for more than 30 days at her hearing next month. I’m going to guess at 60 days in jail for her starting end of october.

  15. Jennyjenjen

    Frankly I can’t even believe it. When i was in early 20s less then ten years ago, i got picked up for possesion. I did 4 onths in Cook County Jail (chicago) fighting y case to avoid a year in the penn. I had a paid attorney, I have a well respected upbringing with good rents and siblings. I look like a classy white girl and I didn’t catch a break for the first arrest. No probabtion… nothing. Oh to be a star in Cali…

    • Hopefully another difference between you and the crack whore pictured above is that you learned that you didn’t want to be in jail ever again. Had you received a slap on the wrist like the crack whore pictured above then you could have possibly slipped back into playing with fire. For her latest infraction she did a few hours and made it out in time to get her shoes back frim mom and still make Happy Hour!

  16. anonymous

    dammit. Worst. Day. Ever

  17. thetruth

    Someone get this cunt mainlining smack and get it done.

  18. molly

    I DON’T WANT HER GETTING BAIL! I SAID IT LIKE FIVE TIMES!

    this trial is HORSE SHIT

  19. Emily

    LOLMERICA LEGAL SYSTEM

  20. Lindsay Lohan Arrives in Court
    Rick's Daddy
    Commented on this photo:

    SHE’S WHITE AND RICH. GOT THE COMPLEXION FOR PROTECTION…AND UR SURPRISED? HAHA!

    • !##$%$

      Why do people always bring race into things? That has NOTHING to do with it. She is rich, but just because she is white doesn’t mean she gets protection. There are lots of white people in jail, and some do have lots of money. Racist.

  21. Superficial Dude… Why knock this poor lost soul? Its evident that she need some one to help her.

  22. jrdffr

    why is it always “TMZ REPORTS” anything they report doesn’t sound legitimate

  23. englishdas

    don’t you guys have ‘three strikes’ laws? how many times has she been found guilty of something about 50 times, when we’d still be getting fucked in the ass by big-boy the cellmate years after committing offence #1??!!! FACE-PALM!!!

  24. englishdas

    sorry i mean to add… what a Teflon-coated cunt.

  25. captain america

    there is only one excuse possible:

    CALIFORNIA CHOSE FOR MONEY BECAUSE OF THE BANKRUPTCY INSTEAD OF DIGNITY & TRUTH, folks!!

    • Was just thinkin that too tho its not revenue til its forfeited..

      Take heart fish ur quote of the day inspired me to eat one the best meals i ever had. And thats a good thing.

      Linds lets get workin on that baby bump of yours, im horny as hell today (oysters last nite..)

  26. herbiefrog

    wooo hooo : )))

    “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

    thanks mlk

    [[oh and to all you sad losers... suck it : ) ) ) ]]

  27. So now we know Judge Shnegg is both in on the take, and completely separated from current events…

  28. RasputinsLiver

    .

    Well, this cunt replaced 5150 Britney after daddy Spears put his thumb down on her. Lindsay provided the necessary schadenfreudian amusement (hey, unlike so many I’m honest about it!) I enjoy every day in a really good celeb meltdown.

    But she’s become boring and now I officlally hate the bitch.

    Wish daddy Spears’d unleash the real Brit Brit again. Man, nothin’ says celebrity train wreck like 5150 Britney at her caziest prime.

    Oh well. We can dream.

    .

  29. Angel Eyes

    Who pays $1,250 for a pair of hideous shoes. She’ll be total broke in less then five years, living on skid row, and finally totally forgotten. Along with Paris Hilton, who goes around flying in a private jet, which costs more than Lindsay’s shoes per hour.

  30. Slab

    YEAH…. PARTY AT LINDSAY’S HOUSE !!

  31. mercy's bastard stepchild

    Someone set this useless cunt up. Get some coke, and give it to her. Have a hidden camera.

  32. Joseph S

    So violating a court order is a misdemeanor?

  33. your sister

    I wonder if a black guy who’s not a celebrity would get this opportunity in CA (regardless of whether he could afford the bail).

  34. Sid

    Sorry, I can’t pretend to be outraged. There aren’t enough jail cells for all the violent felons in California. I don’t want them wasted on a person who failed a drug test.

    • Justin

      No? So your not outraged by the fact that if this was anyone else they would never get this many breaks?

      • Sid

        Nope. Because anybody who can afford a decent lawyer would get this many breaks in California’s overloaded legal system. There’s nothing special about her case. I guess you didn’t read about California releasing nonviolent prisoners early because of the state’s budget crisis. If you feel so strongly about locking her up, send California a check for the costs, because otherwise they don’t have the money.

  35. Lindsay Lohan Arrives in Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Justice?
    Hmmmm.
    Nice lawyering & perhaps some payoffs get LiLo sprung from the cooler. Not the finest news to start my Saturday.
    Lots of conditions on that bail. LiLo will once again be wearing everyone’s favorite piece of jewelry: a SCRAM bracelet. I understand the CA state budget is in the toilet; they could use that 300k if she fucks this up.
    Good luck girl.

  36. Cock Dr

    I love that fact that I have no idea what’s going to happen now in this stupid melodrama. This girl seems SO dumb.
    She could clean up & have a fantastic comeback.
    She could OD, or drive her Maserati off a CA cliffside.
    She could get pregnant
    She could join a cult, or run down a dozen people in front of a club.
    She could run off with some crazy European or Middle Eastern rich dude.
    She could wind up doing porn.
    Or she could end it all and just get fat.

  37. she has blue eyes(told charming), long blonde hair sexy lips and nice smile check Google w ww_iPal-com/?u=gallaherbabe 43 people voted gallaher, be the first of your friends.

  38. nn

    The “editor” of this page does no get me. I don’t care about dress celebrities, only nude or in bikini. You get the idea, right?

  39. The Only Hetero in this Joint

    Sorry Fish but I think LiLo just schooled you.

    She just went to the low post on you.

    She stiff armed youand sacked the QB.

    She made you her prison bitch.

    oh hell – you get the idea.

    Hey man – don’t be too hard on yourself: You can always go wrong betting on the American justice system. Just ask Marcia Clark and Chris Darden.

  40. matondo

    mk ultra whore crazy useless, bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    she is just soooo stupid why do the rich always get out of prison and the poor have to stay there like they are in a workhouse, what the fukk is wrong with this fake world?????

  41. caligrrl

    Couldn’t have said it better myself Fish, perfect headline. Fucking whore. Fucking Cali legal system! I am embarrassed to live here.

    • zed

      yep – too bad she didn’t do this shit in yemen or iran or some other camel-jockey ruled place…she would’ve been stoned in the public square and had her gash sewn shut by now! I tell ya those hard-line muslim cultures got it goin’ on in a lot of ways…

  42. Lindsay Lohan Arrives in Court
    PieEater
    Commented on this photo:

    What a tool of a lawyers she must have. She is going to have to make an appearance in front of Judge fox in less than a month to determine whether or not she’ll have to spend 30+ days in jail for the violation. There is no better way to piss off a judge than to appeal his decision and make an appellate court order him to the opposite. So way to go, Lindsey. Let’s see how well you fare next time. Sometimes you just pick your battles.

  43. David

    is that her mom?

  44. Lindsay Lohan Arrives in Court
    Ew
    Commented on this photo:

    That profile is hideous! She has the saggy baggy gobbler chin of an old lady, and she’s only 24! She needs to stop inflating those lips and invest the money in a chin tuck!

  45. nonW00t

    Oh bus, where art tho when she crosses a street…….

  46. Matthew

    I bet Dina “party mom”l Lohan helped the judge and she and lindsay is probley planing fuck you to america party!

  47. Weasel

    Tough lovin’s the only way to help this broad. Chuck her in, swallow the key, and at least keep her there long enough to get a plumber to fish the key out of the sewer system after you’ve shat and flushed it.

  48. Mark

    Halls of justice painted green.

  49. Dude

    What fucking moron didn’t know that being remanded on a misdemeanor charge without bail was either illegal or procedurally forbidden in every U.S. state?

    Yeah, she is a stupid bitch. I understand the hate. But the problem I see here is not with the court system’s treatment of this particular fuck-wit. The problem with our “justice” system is that the general populace has no sense of justice any more.

    • The Only Hetero in this Joint

      Uhh….gee…how about this F*cking moron who has never violated the law? I mean WTF Dude: Other than fuck-wits like Ms Lohan the average citizen is a law abiding celebrity board bashing solid citizen.

      Sorry Dude: If you’d like and if Fish requires it for further commentary here I will be happy to go out get shit faced, lease a Porsche and run over a baby in a crosswalk. Then I’ll be up to speed on how the justice system works….Oh…wait a minute….you mean it won’t work for me like it does LiLo or Paris or any of the other idiots we see here regularly…?

      Never mind.

  50. joe blow

    Why are they handling that cunt with kid gloves?

    If that had been any of us, we’d be in Cell Block D with 10 inches of cock up our asses right now.

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