Miss Louisiana Teen proves her state is, in fact, full of giant idiots

October 22nd, 2008 // 104 Comments

Jamie Lynn Spears can rest easy today. There’s someone in Louisiana dumber than she is – sort of. Maybe. Shit, let’s call it a tie. Anyway, Miss Louisiana Teen USA Lindsey Evans was stripped of her title today after she was busted pulling a “dine-and-dash” at a restaurant over the weekend. Turns out she left her purse at the scene. Her purse full of pot. SWISH! TMZ reports:

We just got an advance copy of a statement that will be released from Paula Miles, President of RPM, sponsor of the LA. pageant.
“Lindsey Evans has been part of an organization that believes in opportunities when earned and consequences when warranted. Due to recent circumstances, Lindsey has been relieved of her duties as Miss Louisiana Teen USA 2008 effective immediately.”
Here’s the insult to injury. She only had 10 days left on her reign. But pageant officials didn’t have the patience to wait.

Somewhere, the Spears’ family is celebrating that retarded news came out of Louisiana, and this time it wasn’t about them: “Gotdamn, it weren’t us this time! Wait, hold on, Britnay’s callin’. She done swallowed a quarter again. Jamie Lynn stop having unprotected sex for a dang-gone minute and help ya sister. And quit putting your baby in the mikerwave. The good Lord didn’t give us a dishwasher for nothin’.”


  1. redneck

    south is where retards live.

  2. chris


  3. Sport

    I’d do her. Then take her weed and ditch.

  4. “SWISH”

  5. Bristol Palin is hilarious…

    Oh, who’s this?

  6. Sport

    Yay some liberal lemmings are trying to make political jokes.
    Go back to studying Khabballa to understand your candidate asshole.

  7. Parker

    no matter how dumb she is I’d still buttfuck her.

  8. KoT

    Being a southerner, I take offense. I believe it’s the west and east that are full of complete morons. Don’t y’all have gay marriage, indoctrination of children to Obama, illegal aliens up the ass, incredible government deficits, burn the US flag, radical universities, reject the POA (even in Spanish), etc?

    Fuck you, douchebag … this chick is an idiot, but a whole lot of westerners & easterners have done the same thing!

  9. havoc

    Totally bangable…..

    Young, tight and she brought pot.


  10. Tom

    Would smash and motor boat.

  11. Bigo

    Pic #1 and #2 are the same person?????????? I guess face surgery really works

  12. BEAM

    Ah, sweet, sweet divisiveness.

  13. James

    Agree with Bigo – if that pic isn’t airbrushed, and it probably isn’t, since that seems like it would be a no-no for beauty pageant entrants, then it just goes to show the transformative power of makeup. Seeing the second picture, you’d certainly never think “beauty queen”.

    KoT, there are plenty of stupid people in the east, west, north and south of this country. Especially depending on your definition of what is stupid or wrong – in this case, yours and mine are very different.

  14. BEAM

    I blame Sarah Palin.

  15. in the minority (aka i have a 3-digit iq)

    uhh #9.. i’m also from the south, and i think you’re an idiot for all the things you just listed. please stop making us look bad.

  16. Kahlee

    good lord. miss teen photoshop.

  17. BadCopNoDonut

    Looking like that I’m surprised she would have to pay for her own meals at all…. still, it sets a bad example for other aspiring teen mannequins.

  18. Pixie

    KoT, I was born and raised (and still live!) in TN and the stuff you listed made you sound like a “moran” even to me. Don’t you have a klan rally to attend? Gotta keep them thar uppity brown folks in place.

  19. House

    @ 9
    RIght KoT–Because we take time to say *I don’t know about all of you* instead of *i don’t know about y’all* or how much of the gov’s money comes from our “liberal” and “elitist” states taxation due to the millions of taxpayers, roughly 10million in California alone (since approx 1/3 of all Americans pay taxes). Or is it the fact that we here in California get pristine weather and you’d love to move over here but you wouldn’t be able to afford a home here because you sit around banging your sister/mother/daughter/dad/brother/son or playing the banjo down by the bayou instead of getting a job? Or is it the fact that the south lacks higher learning institutions that could compare to our UCLA, USC, Standford, Harvard, Dartmouth, Yale or Princeton?
    Indoctrination of Obamaology to our children, are you mentally challenged? Wait don’t answer that. Thinking is such an overrated concept, and an awfully tough thing to do. You might cause some sort of irreparable brain damage if you try to think! Oh wait, silly me, hicks lack the capacity to think.

    So wait, you’re an idiot…and you’re a “southerner”. Wow, that must mean that the south is full of idiots. Nope, wait…it’s just you. To think i almost stooped down to your idiotic stereotypical level.

    Just in case you didn’t get it, the lesson here today was, stereotypes go both ways. No matter how ridiculous or stupid stereotypes are, people will believe them…you clearly prove my point.

  20. Barak Obama

    Perl necklace then motorboat – in that order.

  21. kate

    she has a serious case of bitch face

  22. Max Planck

    Finally something interesting comes out of a beauty pageant. They should be grateful.

  23. As long as she put out. Are there any nude photos of her on the net?

  24. glace neuf

    i’d smoke the pot and hit it!

  25. Frank B.

    Wait. Hold on. Whoa.

    Makeup does a lot, shit.

    #23–Ha. She does have Bitch Face.Good call.

    #15–How is it Sarah Palin’s fault?

    #25–I’m sure she has nudes, most of them do.

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  27. clichewaste

    girl smokes blunts.

    high five yo.

  28. OUCH

    21 = hack

  29. graphic

    #1 your are a Fucking Idiot and I hope you die in a fire because the world will certainly be better off with out ignorant ass spewing dumb stereotypes. Have a nice day and don’t forget to play with matches!

  30. whistle

    She’s hot.

  31. DT

    Looks like Bree Olsen, ooh what a slut.

  32. Rae

    My brother swallowed a quarter when he was 5.
    I live in Bumfuck, Florida.
    There may or may not be a pattern here.

  33. libbi

    I come from Australia and news flash America- the entire world thinks you are ALL morons.
    And thats mainly because most of you are, most of your children cant locate their own country on a map. Everychild in Austalia can not only locate the country, they can name every state and draw it by hand. Because we my dears, are not retarded inbreds like yourselves.

    Please do not think this is just me or a small minority who thinks this way. There’s a reason why everyone comes to your country- to rob your dumb asses blind.

  34. BadCopNoDonut

    I’m Canadian and I don’t think you guys are all morons. There are morons all over this fucked up planet. So 36, chill out, man. Throw a shrimp on the barbie and settle down.

  35. literarycritic

    “Britnay’s callin’. She done swallowed a quarter again. Jamie Lynn stop having unprotected sex for a dang-gone minute and help ya sister. And quit putting your baby in the mikerwave.”

    Okay, I LOL’d. Nice one, Fish.

    And can all you offended Southerners just fucking relax? You’ve gotta admit, there’s a much higher proportion of morons in the South.

    As proof, I offer this account of bone-deep, specifically Southern stupidity:

    About 25 years ago, my dad was traveling through Arkansas and got lost. He came upon an old man sitting on his front porch, and asked him for directions. Hearing his accent, the old man said, “You a Yankee, ain’tcha?” My dad replied that he was from Richmond, Virginia. The old man said, “That’s Yankee territory.” My dad retorted, “Do you know where Robert E. Lee was born?”

    The old man replied, “Who’s Robert E. Lee?”

    True story.

  36. Suzy

    Ugh. Another stupid bitch makes us look bad down here in Louisiana. Super.

    On a more serious note- granted, I wasn’t raised here, but we aren’t all as stupid as this; I would venture more into the postulation that Disney channel pop stars/beauty queens are morons.

    And obviously number 36 has a very incompetent view of the very strange things that go on in Australia. Lately, there has been some VERY inbred things coming out of that region. JFGI.

    And just to ruin any camaraderie I might have built up here…. GEAUX TIGERS! Beat Georgia!

  37. jack

    Jamie lynn Spears got kicked off her own show, a unplanned pregnancy, her boyfriend cheated on her, then a unplanned pregnant again with her boyfriend, Miss Louisiana Teen USA 2008 doesn’t even come close. Jamie Lynn Spears still comes comes in as the dumbest, especially with her sister Britney coming in as backup.

  38. Dine and dash… forgot the hash. She got a sweet mug shot though. http://www.pukingdog.com for more undigested news…

  39. A Woman

    Damn, she’s too ugly to be a beauty pageant contestant, let alone a winner!

  40. CA

    It’s a known fact all of the intelligent Americans are in California.

  41. Miserable Bastard

    You could take everyone and everything that is interesting about Australia and condense it into an area half the size of Rhode Island. The rest of it is just wasted space covered in kangaroo shit, and AC/DC. And as for not being a bunch of “retarded inbreds”, the first major European settlement of Australia was a penal colony (retards) established by the English (inbreds). That’s not a gene pool to brag about.

  42. Rogerdoger


  43. Peppie

    Nothing’s wrong with a little Mary Jane.

  44. Kahlee

    hahahaha, Bitch face. Its true

  45. john bogad

    the first major European settlement of Australia was a penal colony (retards) established by the English (inbreds). That’s not a gene pool to brag about.
    Dude..you should write for wikipedia. I have never read a more accurate description of Australia before. Sure we may be a country that worships Mayor McCheese and strip malls, but we did not put the Crocodile Hunter on the map. Now back to your vegamite sammiches and poisonous snakes.

  46. Ted from LA

    Look at her face in the evening gown photo. She looks like the next Mrs. John McCain to me.

  47. Ted from LA

    Ted from LA has never been arrested, but if he were, Ted would not be smiling as if he were in a shopping mall photo booth.

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