Minka Kelly’s Butt is Killing Jobs

September 22nd, 2011 // 92 Comments

“Most people are robust. If a man puts his hand on a woman’s bottom, any woman worth her salt can deal with it. It’s communication. Can’t we be friendly?” – Jeremy Irons

Minka Kelly cost a crew member on the set of Charlie’s Angels his job after he literally thought it’d be okay to not only look at the talent but slap it on its ass. Because that’s the kind of thing that goes over awesome during TV/film production. Also, to everyone who wrote in saying this was me, I do my goose monstering from the front. Ladies? TMZ reports:

What did happen … according to sources directly connected to the production … is that the man did indeed slap Kelly, and sources at ABC tell us, she responded by telling him, “Please don’t ever disrespect me or any other woman like that again.”
… We’re told Minka did not want to get the guy fired and had nothing to do with the decision — she was friendly with the man and upset that he lost his job after moving his family to town for the job.
And, ABC sources say, this was not an isolated incident — the guy had done it before to other women.

I like how Minka Kelly is “worth her salt” – Mr. Irons. – and felt her reaction was all that was needed. Or at least that’s what we’re lead to believe so she comes out of this looking awesome, so I’m going to go ahead and side with the story that suggests everyone gets a freebie. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to oil up my batting glove. I’ve got a date with destiny. And ass patting. — An ass pat of destiny. There we go.

Photo: Fame, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. kj

    I wonder how Derek Jeter feels about this? I guess he might be a little miffed… although all those rings (and yesterday’s AL East crown) and the three 10′s currently in his bed will probably make it okay.

  2. Hugh Gentry

    was his dick out? if not, I don’t see a problem.

  3. isomniatic

    First

  4. JN

    Don’t worry, you’ll be just fine. I don’t see Mel Gibson having a problem with you slapping his ass.

  5. Cock Dr

    Did Mr Irons really spit out that nonsense quote?
    If so he has a lot to learn about polite social interaction. Talent & fame does not excuse one from manners.

    • Saul Goldbloom

      Believe me , Brits have a different sensibility about slapping a woman’s ass. They actually have an expression , “A slap and a tickle ” which connotes sexual activity

    • SisterRay

      Well I for one would have welcomed his impolite social interaction back in his Brideshead Revisited days… Nowadays his son is always welcome.

  6. Rough among Vitoes

    What if he never read about companies going bankrupt because of law suits from sexual harassment? Sometimes the pages you skipped may contain a slew of modern day happenings. Because his act is so outdated I assume he still get his news from newspapers as a primary source and never log on the net.

  7. Minka Kelly Butt
    TomFrank
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently, it’s okay to caress her waist, though. Go for it, guys!

  8. Richard McBeef

    what’s the point of having dat ass if randoms can’t stop by and slap it?

  9. WJClinton

    It depends on what your definition of “slap” is.

  10. Minka Kelly Butt
    JabbaWho?
    Commented on this photo:

    Cankle Alert

  11. Mr.Sticky

    And the “I’d rather cover the site in shitty ad’s, then go one step beyond the acceptable and use Giant IN YOUR FACE GIANT ANIMATED CAN’T READ TILL YOU CANCEL ME” ads” are killing this site.

    Fuck’s sake, before it was the loud “YOU MAY BE A WINNER” shit now this?

    It’s funny how all the “sister sites” manage to get along just fine w/out the added doucenozzlery of the worlds most annoying ads.

    Meh give it time I guess,..eventually they’ll ALL care way more about the ads than the users,

    I am glad that your giant ad gave me the chance to see that while they did add a black woman to the Charlie’s angels lineup, there’s no asian’s or latino’s represented in there, and as we all know the world will never work until absolutely every single thing is equally overdiversified. (Also if charlie doesn’t represent people who are “Differntly Abled” we’re looking at a lawsuit.

    • meh

      Use Firefox with an add-blocker addon, I don’t see shit except Minka Kelly’s ass!

      • Richard McBeef

        adblocker plus. works on firefox. there is a chrome version too.

        if you are using IE you should probably just quit the internet, dad.

      • noscript dot net.. not seen an overlay since. you need something to block java and flash or ull be well and truly fucked. look up cross-site scripting..

      • Your Dad

        Fuck you son. I heard there’s tits on this internet thing. Have you seen your mom’s lately? She doesnt use the swiffer anymore, just drags those things around with feather dusters pinned to the end.

      • I can vouch for noscript. It was recommended by fellow Superficials and I love it. This, and many other news sites work 100% better without the lame ass audio/video ads.

        “Congratulations! You Won!”
        “Congratulations! You Won!”
        “Congratulations! You Won!”
        “Congratulations! You Won!”
        “Congratulations! You Won!”

    • Bob

      This site has ads?
      I don’t get pop-ups and I don’t notice the ads – probably because I don’t look at them and have volume off unless I’m listening to tunes.
      Colour me practical all I see is Minka Kelly’s ass which isn’t uttering a sound.

    • $pamBot$

      I think you got a trojan dad. Or your DNS settings are h4xx0red. Be glad you an’t seeing random dick ads!

      You can be 8=============================================D long!

    • TomFrank

      Haven’t you heard? Bosley’s Latino in this one.

    • Gizem

      Problem with moving Jeter to the otfeiuld is that he doesn’t have the power to play the corner spots and would become a liability offensively. He probably doesn’t have the range to play center and would remain a defensive liability. At this point Jeter is only switching positions if they absolutely have a hands down better option at short. Or they have a desperate need in center.

  12. Beefarino

    Apparently, Minka didn’t appreciate it the butt slap because it reminded her of her time with Derek where he slapped her ass and called her A-Rod.

    • Parker

      ahahahaha that really happened too except it really was A-Rod and after he slapped his A-Rod’s ass Jeter gave him a hug and kiss cause that’s what the Yankees are like.

  13. meh

    Well moving his family to town, presumes he has a wife/gf in which case slapping her ass was out of order otherwise losing his job over it is probably totally worth it in his mind.

  14. her ass is indeed a massterpiece worthy of massturbating to.. proof that evolution loves us. but then she probly has herpes, plus she doesn’t sound all that bright (and disrespect isn’t a fucking verb!)

    • Anon

      Yup, it’s a verb.

      • Parker

        yup just like anal is a verb as in, After I analize Minka Kelly’s plump behind she always makes me a sandwich cause she’s a nice girl who really enjoys getting porked in her butt and making sandwiches.

  15. Artimus

    I don’t care if I’m unemployed now. It was SO worth it.

  16. LJ

    How stupid are you when you think that slapping/grabbing a woman’s ass in the work place is not going to have repercussions?

    • crazypants

      And not the PA’s ass, or the catering chef’s ass – but the star of the friggin show’s ass.

      Real dumb-dumb.

  17. I just like that big butt, donk a donk ba-donk a donk.

  18. forrest gump

    so do not trust any horny looking american………….

  19. Dude of Dudes

    Im pretty sure Sir Mixalot’s anaconda wants some of that action.

  20. a pornstar

    …from a staunch feminist point of view, if the hand is attached to a George Clooney type, no harm done, he still has a place in Como, right?

    If said hand, is attached to a lowly tv/film production guy, who has kids, a wife, a dog, and a pay check which makes me giggle, no ass slapping…

    if said hand is attached to a tv/production guy who matters, then slaps are welcome, this ass is 5 slaps away from an OSCAR.

    All men are not created equal, some ass slaps are better than others.

    Thanks to Gloria Steinem, and other such female warriors, women like myself, can use manipulation tactics to rise up the male dominated corporate world. Sexual harassment threats help keep the balance in my office, also, calling in sick like today, allows me to hunt for other jobs..Wish me luck!

  21. ted

    Kinda hard to feel sympathy for the “moving his family for the job” part, given that he saw the job as an opportunity to fondle asses. Of course he must have a doormat of a wife.

  22. V

    what kind of person actually moves their entire family to another city, and then behaves like a fucking ape on set and gets himself fired? you have to be incredibly retarded to lose a job like that in this economy…

    • Bob

      Football players do that all the time.

      • Jillia

        That doesn’t make it ok. But I’m not in the mood to go all feminist apeshit over you. Do see though, a pornstar’s comment above about Clooney butt slapping vs. lowly crew member butt slapping as to WHY they get away with it and this idiot did not.

  23. anon

    it wasn’t that actual ass slap that bothered her; it was the yankees jersey he had on while doing it.

  24. just say'n

    Seeing as her mother use to work as a stripper you’d think she would be cool with this.

    • LJ

      Wow….you’re a real piece of shit, aren’t you.

      • RD

        Word around town is that the show is already in ‘retooling’/pre-cancelation mode. So Ms. Kelly might want to give some serious thought about either learning to pole dance off the Nickel, or finding another Jeter to pole dance for.

    • Hugh Marlboro

      Is this actually true or is this a cheap smear?

  25. cc

    She really is stunning.

    I want to be the guy whose hand is on her hip. I’d settle for that, if I had to. More would be good though.

    I hate Derek Jeter.

  26. Toby Weymiller

    She is boring without Jeter. He should date the ass slapper so this is an interesting story.

  27. Eee

    I don’t believe that was her response. If someone slaps my ass I would have said what the duck dude!

  28. Steve Naismith

    I thought pancreatic cancer was killing Jobs?

  29. Nick

    Yeah, right! Women usually respond to being slapped on the ass with a calm Susan B. Anthony PC speech. Especially self-entitled Hollywood dolls enjoying their 15 minutes of fame. I’m sure something was lost in translation here between “Hey asshole!” and “Please don’t ever…”

  30. Schmidtler

    Minka looks like what Natalie Portman would look like if she ever reached puberty. Maybe the dude was just checking Minka’s ass to see if she was hiding her jew gold in there?

  31. In defense of the poor fellow, if that ass came within slap reach…what man WOULDN’T take his shot? If nothing else, it’s your trump card for your trash talking buddies for the rest of your life. Once you can say you traded your job for a slap on the ass of one of the hottest chicks alive, being called “fag” doesn’t carry any weight at all.

  32. Clarence Beeks

    ah, none of them will have a job come Mid-November., This show is getting canceled. Do you know anyone who gives a shit that this is on the air? What a joke.

    • Nick

      I’ll have a job for Minka. It does involve spankings. Obviously she’s not a fan. But an out of job actress shouldn’t be choosy.

  33. Mr. Poop

    if she would have blurted out that crap to me after i copped a feel, i would have busted out the man-log and chris brown’d that bitch
    ka-blam

  34. anon

    To those who say she’s dumb…she worked as a scrub nurse/ surgery tech at a hospital for a year while she was modeling. You do have to have some degree of intelligence to train for and be hired for such a job. And the as pat move was about equal with the evolution of a cave man…ignorant and sexist. Any woman who would find that a compliment needs to seriously look at her level of self esteem. Kudos to Kelly for handling it the way she did. With guys (he’s not a ‘man’) there is always more than one and they do it until someone steps in to make them pay the consequences for it.

  35. Minka Kelly Butt
    Doc Schweinstrudel
    Commented on this photo:

    she is the most gorgeous woman on this planet

  36. skunk

    hottest woman right now.

  37. Rick

    Other than having been another hole for Jeter’s bat, who is she?

  38. BenDoverman

    I wanna bite those cankles til she squeals like the piglet she is.

  39. Minka Kelly Butt
    yourpenis
    Commented on this photo:

    suuuuuuuper hot….and then cankles…

  40. Dharma Initiative Beans

    I would actually go out and find a job just so I could lose it for slapping that ass.

  41. anonym

    her nose is awkward, and she sucks at acting,

    but i’d let her sit on my face all day.

  42. nic

    Her cankles are atrocious.

  43. Minka Kelly Butt
    nic
    Commented on this photo:

    holy cankles. There’s lipo for that, you know!

  44. luigi

    Poor worker. She is a feminazi

  45. Choc Donut

    She’s the first celebrity I’ve seen recently that I actually think is hot. She was the same on Letterman as well, and seems to have a solid personality, too, except for dating Derek Jeter – barf.

    That ass magnetizes hand palms. Still, the guy was an idiot. Try that in a corporate environment, and you might get sued, not just lose your job.

  46. Minka Kelly Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    it is cute how women can fool men so easily. YES she is amazingly beautiful but her butt has never been that big and round. It is called a butt pad and i have seen it at expensive stores that sell celebrity stuff. It can make any woman have a round plump butt!

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