I’m Not Joking Anymore. What The Hell Happened To Miley Cyrus?

June 19th, 2013 // 82 Comments
Miley Cyrus We Can't Stop Video
WATCH: Miley Cyrus - 'We Can't Stop'

Remember when Miley Cyrus was a sweet, little country singer and folks would come into FYE asking if you have them “Hanner Montanner DBDs ’cause it’s such an adorable daddy/daughter show and my granddaughter just loves it?” She’s Rihanna now. Miley Cyrus is Rihanna. Although, on the bright side, your granddaughter can smack her ass now, so let’s not look a gift horse in the mouth. (That’s where her kind hide their gold.)

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  1. JC

    The “lyrics” to this are retarded by even the lowest of pop standards. By 0:50 in, both my ears had AIDS.

  2. TheSufFan

    that was embarrassing to watch. excuse me while i go vom out the discomfort.

    • Since it has become excruciatingly obvious that “Slutery” has become America’s most robust growth industry brought forward by young hos between the ages of 15 through 24; I was pondering when “Slutery” is going to go IPO, and what will “Slutery” trade under; NYSE or NASDAQ???

      Or, perhaps its IPO could be bisexual as most young sluwhores seem to be these days and do both.

  3. At least she’s way hotter than Rihanna.

  4. eatme

    …runs like a commercial. she’s hawking a bunch of fucking plastic.

  5. Gabriela

    how embarrassing…

  6. Dr. Jones

    Amanda Bynes and Miley Cyrus separated at birth.

  7. ThisWillHurt

    What happened to Hanna Montana? Also, what the hell is Hanna Montana?

  8. Ninja

    That was insanely odd. What demographic is she going for here? The 19 – 21 year old sexual sociopath? If so, nailed it!

  9. Jon Pork

    Salvia is a heluva drug.

  10. foreverfugly

    Someone upper cut her while that tongue is out, please.

  11. Deacon Jones

    You know, I bet this girl is a phenomenal lay. Seriously.

    Batshit, of course. But phenomenal.

    • I gotta agree with ya, Deacon. I’ve always had a hunch that she’d be humpin’ like a runaway oil well.
      “C’mon, Honey. Harder, harder, faster, faster…Hurt me and make me bleed. Do it jist like the goats do it back home.”

  12. Cock Dr

    What a lousy pop song. Bleah!
    Probably best not to be sober when viewing the antics above.

  13. She’s just chosen the same well trodden path that everyone that thinks they are unique has done.

    “Hey I’ll shave a portion of my head, that’ll show them mainstreamers!”

  14. Ben Dover

    there are so many girls hotter than this piece of crap

  15. The best part of the video is at 3:05 when she gets her head stomped on.

  16. I’m not sure if this makes me gay, but Bieber is getting pretty hot. He’s gotta do something about those teef, though.

  17. anonym

    She needs to reinvent herself, that’s why.

    Her ass looks nice when she’s in a doggy position though

  18. anonymous

    Looks like she trying to carve out a niche between acting like Katy Perry in her vids and sounding like Rhianna.

  19. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f49kd7ht5cU

    charlamagne asking why miley wants to be rachetet pussy (nailed it)

  20. Sarah

    She’s incredibly hot!

  21. PumpkinBob

    I can’t tell if this is an intentional parody of Rihanna or not.

  22. Rico Jones

    This video was awful but I watched every second of it because she is smoking hot.

  23. Assbestos

    I’m looking forward to watching her age.
    …assuming of course my wishes don’t start getting answered and the immolations commence.

    Ain’t. Gonna. Be. Pretty.

  24. Swearin

    See, this is video is what happens when you let your kid hang out with rappers and heroin addicts.

  25. Gwen Stefani wanna be, this has been done already Miley…with someone who has talent

    LOL at the money sandwich though in the beginning of the vid…oh and call me crazy but I’d still bang the shit out of her

  26. Wow, that was an awful song and video. Even her half-naked did not help much. So this was originally a Rihanna song that she was given that still ended up sounding like Rihanna sang it? Is there is a Rihanna Auto-tune option? This was just weird.

  27. Jerkface

    She’s following the exact same slutshame path that Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Amanda Bynes did. They start out all squeaky clean and innocent, then right when they turn 18 they get hyper sexualized, then by the time they hit 25-30, they are shaving their heads, doing drugs, crashing cars, and trying to kill themselves. Hooray for Hollywood!

  28. This is like one long American Apparel ad.

  29. FreeMasonicHandShake

    Her Illuminati mind control is going along nicely.

  30. She’s so fucking hot but she needs to stop with the poses where she’s gritting her teeth or sticking her tongue all the way out with the furrowed eyebrows. Any body language expert will tell you something is genuinely wrong with a person who does that a lot.

  31. My takeaway from the video is that Miley Cyrus likes to give head, and is up for a three way any time you want.

  32. lori

    Who listens to this sh*t??

  33. gawd… that was AWFUL….. desperately tryin to look sexy but looking like a 16 year old girl with zero dress sense….. and it sounds like shes tryin to sing like Rhianna who has a better understanding of the word sexy…… this is just awkward and cringeworthy lol better luck next time girl!

  34. Jumbalee

    What an utterly boring child. Someday soon someone will compile a 3-hour video solely of this homely girl snarling and sticking out her hepatitis-stained tongue. Not cute the first time, infinitely tiresome by now.

  35. vv

    “Hanner Montanner DBDs”
    Anytime I read anything she has said it is with the same twangy accent.
    LMAO

  36. Roxi

    indeed it is embarrasing to watch, she doesn’t only looks like justin bieber but she also sounds like him now, her body is okay but it’s clear to me that she thinks she is the hottest girl in the world, gimme a freaking break! attention seeker needs to go… seriously.

  37. disturbed

    I feel like my laptop just contracted herpes from watching that

  38. Anon

    This was hilarious to watch muted. The only way I would, actually.

  39. BeastMaster

    Record producer: “I just finished working on the new abortion of a record by Miley Cyrus and she has this weird voice that is a cross between a nasal accent and a Caribbean accent”
    Other dude: Jamaica?
    Record Producer: “nope, she chose it herself because she wanted to sound more black,”

  40. Carl

    She should be embarrassed. There is such a thing as to slutty. Liam moved on just in time. Let that blow away in the wind.

  41. kery

    She is a clown. Miley we have already seen it babe ;)

  42. TheloneusKool

    Did anyone notice her head get stomped in at 3:03? Played it off like a champ.

  43. Embarrassing to watch.

  44. Whyask

    What the hell do you people see in her? – The woman is utterly foul.

  45. That “music” was, in a word, AWFUL! But she sure is a sexy little cunt. I think a lot of it is because she still looks so damn young, plus we sort of watched her grow up (as it were).

  46. Fappuccino

    Wtf is wrong with people that live in California?

  47. Castallare

    And there it is! Even my most radical of feminista sistas (sorry..I had to) can’t tolerate it when a celebrity decides to buck tradition and do something on her own. Look, she’s in the entertainment industry, so claiming that she’s all, “look at me!” Is irrelevant; of COURSE she is. That’s how the makes her money.) and, frankly, I think what she’s doing is pretty rad in the literal sense. She’s given herself a non-traditional haircut (which caused everybody to flip out and say she was a ticking time bomb on the brink of a meltdown), she’s coming into her own sexuality (hi, she’s 20. Her body is sickening. I know I was flaunting my junk at that age and of it was gonna make me money, I’d keep doing it.) and she’s trying out a different musical genre than the one she grew up around. Yet everybody says she’s losing her shit. Really?! I think she has her shit relatively together compared to a lot of the 20-year-olds I’ve seen – especially the child stars. She’s been in a long-term relationship with her fiancée for about 3+ years now, so she’s not slutting it up like most of us were; she’s branching out artistically; she’s collaborating with other artists (seriously, why is that a bad thing? That’s what all the greats do, people…); and she’s holding down a career without getting any DUIs or other mentally unstable arrests. This is pretty classic Difficult Woman response, and I gotta tell you, it’s fascinating to watch.
    :::drops mic::::

  48. EW

    Fiona Apple did this much better with her Criminal video.

  49. cc

    That video is comically bad. Absurdly bad in fact.

    I assume her main messages are a) I am sexually repressed, so when the time comes, hold on for the rid of your life, and b) (supplement to a) I’ve got a long tongue and I can do wicked things with it.

    In short, I wish she’d stop performing, but I’d be thrilled if I had the chance to fuck her.

  50. Natalio

    Miley seems to think that it’s sexy to act like a slut. In the old days she at least could shrug things off as a dumb country kid. Now she has no excuses to go with her lack of talent and unattractive looks. O HANNAH no more!

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