While performing in Boston last week, Miley Cyrus broke down crying after her dog Floyd died and could barely make it through the show. Except here she is not even two days later with her new puppy Moonie because you know why pets will never be like children? You can’t just go out and buy a new kid at the baby store. Believe me, I tried to open one, and holy shit the red tape. Apparently in Obama’s America you can’t let people pick their own newborn out of a giant lobster tank. It’s fucking communism.
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