We’ve seen Mila Kunis look heavier before, but that was for a movie, and she wasn’t walking right next to Ashton Kutcher who’s clearly making the, “Why didn’t I wear a condom behind that truck back there?” face. Because that’s how fast pregnancies happen. They’re like a ninja, a sneaky, sneaky ninja. One minute, you’re enjoying a delicious sandwich, then the next – BAM! – you’re throwing your adversary down the stairs because did you fucking see that thing? It had nunchucks and wouldn’t stop talking about food. I almost died.