“Alright, shirt, it’s only a matter of time until I find your vagina and kick it. Now where’s the trigger? WHERE IS IT?!”
Despite the fact everyone knows the Lindsay Lohan jewel theft fiasco ended because she blew the victim so hard his mind melted, her dad is trying to tell people it’s because he called up Suge Knight, whose son Lindsay accused of the crime by the way, and cleared the whole thing up like a good parent unlike his drunk whore of an ex-wife. Via Zap2it:
“I kind of broke that case,” he tells Zap2it. “I spoke to the owner of the house myself and I cleared it up. He told me nothing was stolen. And then one thing led to another with Suge Knight’s son. I called Suge Knight up and I said ‘What’s going on here?’ And he said ‘My son had nothing to do with it and from what I understand neither did your daughter.’”
Lohan says he’s disappointed at how quickly that story spread, even though his daughter was innocent.
Really? I had no idea innocent means guilty as fuck but then again I forgot the Lohans have their own special dialect. For example, whenever they say Lindsay’s “cast in a movie,” it roughly translates to, “You notice how you never see Ali anymore? We sold her to a movie exec to be used as a sex slave. Ali’s a sex slave now.” It’s a romantic language.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, WENN
He’s the lowest scum on the planet. I wish he would kick Gwenyth Paltrow in the cunt in front of her kids.
I think she’d let him, provided he gave the kids an explanation in both Latin and Greek.
if only someone had exploded his nuts in high school with a well placed snap kick. The world would be a different place, son, the world would be a different place.
The personal touch is better. Wrap his balls in a dish-towel and crush them with a hammer… like ice.
Nail his scrotum to a fallen tree, douse his package with lighter fluid. Then light the fire, hand him a knife, and say, “Cut or die, Fuckwad.”
this BS artist is no friggin good.
we see through your web of lies douche
Suge and Michael Lohan should hang out more. And somebody should unload a large caliber handgun into the passenger seat of Suge’s car again.
Apparently Michael’s lawyer instructed him not to spar with real women anymore.
If someone paid cash for Ali, they made a very, very bad deal.
Dude needs a fashion makeover, but I can’t figure out what he could wear that he wouldn’t somehow find a way to make look douchey.
Fish, still love ya but your editing sucks this week. It’s “holed” – not “hold” in ths sense. Sheesh.
The entire Lohan clan should thank Golly that lying about shit isn’t a contact sport. Otherwise they’d all be suffering from Traumatic Brain Injury.
Hmmmm…now wait just a darned minute…maybe I’m on to something…
LOL: Gonna find your vagina, shirt, then I’m gonna kick it!
You literally had me LOLing on that one
Not ROFLMAO, but close
Looks like she didn’t blow this guy or else he would’ve taken the fall for her, like the guy who protected her when she accused Suge Knight’s son of stealing jewelry from that party (iirc).
I’m wondering if her personal assistant Gavin wasn’t interested in being paid in lady blowjobs.
I don’t see why not.
“It’s an appealing offer, but I can’t pay the rent with your blowjobs.”
“Sure you can. Gimme your landlord’s number.”
Really now, you just can’t get good help nowadays.
Seriously, who does take a job as Lindsay’s assistant without expecting to have to take the fall on a few felonies, or dive in front of a couple of ejaculating penises because Lindsay doesn’t like it when it gets in her hair.
What the hell happened to her face?
Did you guys photoshop or morph something here?
Nice double chin, whore.
Dur…where am I going?
Val Kilmer is looking pretty girly these days.
The guy was all set to take her picture. Then he saw her and remained frozen, riveted by her undulating jaw line.