Michael Jackson Had Tons Of Animal And Child Torture Porn: Report

“Don’t worry, it won’t get hard unless you step on a mouse. Who wants to play?”

Somehow there are still people who don’t believe Michael Jackson is a child molester, so here are never-before-seen reports that are allegedly from the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department, which are journalistically speaking full of some crazy fucked up shit that would make Walter Cronkite barf on his dick and curse the Almighty for giving him the power to read. (If this is getting too technical, let me know.) Radar reports:

“The documents exposed Jackson as a manipulative, drug-and-sex-crazed predator who used blood, gore, sexually explicit images of animal sacrifice and perverse adult sex acts to bend children to his will,” said the source.
“He also had disgusting and downright shocking images of child torture, adult and child nudity, female bondage and sadomasochism.”
In their report, authorities described photos of children bleeding, in pain and tormented.
“There is one particularly sick photo of a child holding what appears to be a dead goose bludgeoned to death!” said an insider familiar with the report.

But, wait, there’s more!

“In a book Jackson called Room to Play, there is a deeply disturbing photo of a [murdered child beauty queen] JonBenet Ramsey look-alike with a noose around her neck,” revealed the insider. “There were also photos and videos featuring sadomasochistic sex, bondage, transsexuals — ‘chicks with d–ks.’”

And just so we’re all clear here:

Former Santa Barbara Senior Assistant District Attorney Ron Zonen, who helped prosecute Michael, told Radar: “A lot of this stuff was used to desensitize the children, and Michael admitted taking one child after another into bed with him for long periods of time.
“We identified five different boys, who all made allegations of sexual abuse,” continued Zonen. “There’s not much question in my mind that Michael was guilty of child molestation.”

If anyone needs me, I’ll be telling Photo Boy he’s right and trying to figure out how to cut the mainline to the site because I’m pretty sure I copy and pasted something about dead geese porn back there. TAKE US OFFLINE. TAKE US OFFLINE WITH FIRE.

UPDATE: The Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department issued the following statement to Vanity Fair:

Some of the documents appear to be copies of reports that were authored by Sheriff’s Office personnel as well as evidentiary photographs taken by Sheriff’s Office personnel interspersed with content that appears to be obtained off the Internet or through unknown sources. The Sheriff’s Office did not release any of the documents and/or photographs to the media. The Sheriff’s Office released all of its reports and the photographs as part of the required discovery process to the prosecution and the defense.

So basically some of it was official documents, some of it not-so-official, but they’re not saying which is which because the main point here is please don’t sue us, Michael Jackson’s estate. Did I do it right?

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