Of Course Michael Jackson Had A ‘Child Sex Alarm’

July 2nd, 2013 // 26 Comments
Michael Jackson Macaulay Culkin
$35 Million And 24 Kids
Michael Jackson Macaulay Culkin
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Left to right: Macualay Culkin, Giggles The Dead Clown Who Couldn’t Keep Special Secrets, Michael Jackson

Apparently it’s “Remember How Much Michael Jackson Loved Molesting Kids Week” because TMZ has new details from Wade Robson‘s lawsuit against the King of Pop’s estate that alleges he had a “child sex alarm” which is exactly like it sounds:

Robson just filed an amended complaint, claiming the alarm would go off whenever someone came within 30 feet of Jackson’s room. Robson claims Jackson also hung a “Do Not Disturb” sign on his bedroom door.

That’s strange. I don’t recall anyone being around Michael who had experience with booby traps. Not off the top of my head. But whoever it was was good because a “Do Not Disturb” sign? Genius. “Hmm, it sounds like a child’s being molested in there, but this piece of paper says ‘Do Not Disturb.’ Not sure I have a move here…”


  1. I wonder what sound the alarm made?


  2. Wacko was a sick, twisted freak who preyed on innocent children. He’s where he needs to be, and it’s mighty warm there.

    • Creeper

      Clearly the kids couldnt choose to be around him. I BLAME THE PARENTS. hell look at all the children now without any direction, im sure it was worse back then.

  3. NAMBLA of SF

    Why do you people keep repeating these lies [shame on you Fish].
    MJ was found inocent of all charges.
    Michael loved little boys, and would never do anything to hurt or harm a child.

  4. Tiggles

    If children kept showing up at your bedroom demanding sex, you’d set up an alarm too!

  5. Deacon Jones

    I read about this years ago.

    He had something like 6 different sliding/pad locks on the bedroom door, and video cameras all over.

  6. Banastre Tarleton

    Probably needed Propofol to get to sleep because he couldn’t get the screams of those children out of his mind

    • MJ fan forever

      There has never been any real evidence that Michael ever raped or molested children.
      These stories are just made up by haters, and figments of a sick person’s imagination.

  7. So, just hypothetically speaking, how would a guy go about procuring one of these sex alarms?

    • Hypothetically speaking, there should be some ads in the back of one of those magazines you have hidden behind that secret panel in the bathroom behind the clothes hamper.

  8. Wait, this doesn’t make sense. I thought all famous singers were heroes.

  9. BSName

    Ya, Michael Jackson did not molest children and Macualay Culkin does not abuse heroin to escape his childhood pain.

  10. Consider this

    I guess it isn’t conceivable that he had a lot of locks and alarms on his bedroom door because he is famous and perhaps he didn’t want to get killed in his sleep…after all, someone ended up in Queen Elizabeths bedroom and she has tons of security. I suppose people will always want to think the worst. It is possible that he got sued because he put himself in a vulnerable position with these young people and they wanted to cash in on that. He was found innocent, no one knows for sure what happened and anything with a lawsuit attached to it is suspect in my books. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt , I don’t think his kids need to see this shit, sounds like they already have enough troubles of their own.

    • BSName

      NO, he was NOT found Innocent.
      The Jury found that the prosecution did not prove their case.
      HUGE difference. (especially with Jacksons witness tampering Payola BS)

    • “It is possible that he got sued because he put himself in a vulnerable position with these young people and they wanted to cash in on that.”

      Are you fucking kidding me? If you were the parent of a small boy (because really, cut the shit – he wasn’t interested in girls, so the “young people” inclusive smokescreen you’re employing is just so much lame misdirection) and a full-grown adult male – other than your hero, Michael Jackson – who lived in the neighborhood and was sort of strange and reclusive and had already been the focus of pedophilia rumors, showed up at your door one evening in his pajamas and asked to sleep in the same bed as your son that night, simply because he just liked to sleep with young boys in an attempt to recapture his lost youth, and if you hesitated, started to cry and said he was hurt that you didn’t trust him, would you just invite him in, wish him sweet dreams and let the two of ‘em close the bedroom door? Or would you grab either the nearest firearm or the phone to dial 9-1-1?

      And if you said “yes” to the first option, then you’re too motherfucking stupid to be allowed to take care of a parakeet, let alone a child, and the tattoo “pimp daddy” was designed for you in mind. The only “vulnerable position” Jackson put himself in was openly indulging his penchant for pre-pubescent boys and assuming everyone else is as stupid, gullible and naïve as you are. Please enlighten us as to when it’s appropriate for someone who isn’t a parent to actually “need” to sleep in a bed with a child of one gender – not both – and would cry and pout when they were told “no” – because I’d really, really love to know under what conditions that incredibly creepy setup would be perfectly OK.

      People who are innocent and devoid of any sexual feelings toward children don’t make settlements so that the molestation charges go away – and they sure as fuck don’t do it numerous times, while continuing to repeat that same behavior, unless it’s gratifying some incredibly strong obsession or impulse. And pursuing one’s lost childhood to the tune of millions of dollars in settlement damages just not a credible motivation.

      And sorry again, but soft-pedaling sex offenders’ actions for the sake of their families isn’t a valid enough reason to keep the lid on their actions. Sparing Jerry Sandusky’s wife’s wounded feel-feels wasn’t allowed to get the way of that truth, and while I feel sorry for Jackson’s kids, it shouldn’t be allowed to derail this news either.

  11. Michael Jackson's nemesis
  12. kery

    I thought he was a good man because he made many songs about children like We are the world and others that i dont remember ´cause it was when i was little i dunno…

    • People who are incredibly cruel, twisted and abusive can also be amazingly creative and produce amazing art – I know it seems like I’m asking you to believe David Berkowitz painted the Mona Lisa, but it’s true. Your job is to not confuse the two, but to comprehend there’s a real difference between the artist and his art – and deciding if what he does when he’s not being creative is something you can stomach, let alone endorse.
      See: Roman Polanski and Phil Spector.

      • While I understand your point, I’m still not taking down my collection of original Adolf Hitler watercolors. he had a real knack for the alpine scenes.

      • Rasputin's Evil Twin

        So you’re the one driving up the prices on the watercolors. Good scenery work, yes, but weak on figures.

        How much does it cost to ship the works to Argentina, anyway?

      • He was a Hallmark card hack -he’d be painting really bad motel art if he were alive today.

  13. What’s with M. Culkin’s mouth? Is it torn apart?

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