Despite being an undersexed recluse who geeks out over seeing Spider-Man finally played by a rail-thin waif boy, I’ve surprisingly never played any of the Assassin’s Creed games. So based on Ubisoft casting Michael Fassbender for the upcoming movie, I’ll just go ahead and assume it’s about an Irish dude who harpoons people to death with his gigantic penis and immediately purchase the entire series. (Hold my calls.) Variety reports:
“Michael Fassbender was our first choice” to play the franchise’s iconic hooded hero, said Jean-Julien Baronnet, CEO of Paris-based Ubisoft Motion Pictures. “Michael (Fassbender) is an extremely smart, talented, versatile and committed actor.”
Last fall, Ubisoft was in talks with Sony to develop a series of “Assassin’s” pics (Daily Variety, Oct. 20, 2011). But the companies have since put negotiations on hold.
Ubisoft execs now plan to stick to their initial plan and develop the film independently in order to maintain greater creative control.
…
By controlling more of the creative through UMP, Ubisoft hopes it doesn’t wind up with another “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time,” adapted by Disney and Jerry Bruckheimer.
I was about to make a quip about Michael Fassbender starring in everything now, but then I realized I don’t want to piss off all the ladies reading the site and hear, “I don’t care”; “Whatever”; “If that’s what you want to do,” in response to every single question. The Bush Administration wouldn’t even subject terrorists to that.
CIA: This is Molly. She wants to go to the mall and knows you’ll take her if she just asks, but instead she’s going to spend an entire afternoon passive-aggressively acting like she doesn’t until you convincingly act like you really want to go to even though it’s obvious you don’t-
TERRORIST: The mountains! The nukes are in the mountains! Dear Allah, you people have no souls.
Photos: Getty
The Fass is actually Irish (via Germany to begin with), as obvious in First Class when he seemed to not bother hiding his accent half way through.
Back when he was doing porn he went by the name Miles Long.
Actually it was Miles O’Toole
I don’t even know what’s going on here, but I know I want to be in the middle of it.
this is one sexy guy :) yummmm
This will be shit. Complete and utter shit.
You lost me with the picture of this guy’s face. That’s a lot of fucking makeup. Dang, girl.
I’d like to Fassbender his Michael
I love AC, and I’m fine with Fassbender playing Desmond, but he better not play Ezio. He looks NOTHING like Ezio. They need an actual Italian actor for that role.
Altair wasn’t Italian.
I have a feeling they won’t be making a movie based on Altair. Ezio seems to be the more popular character, so I’m guessing Fassbender will be Ezio or (more likely) Desmond.
I’m guessing they won’t even use those characters, they’ll come up with a completely new character.
Or they could even use Connor, which is the main character in Assassins Creed 3. There’s many possibilities.
love fassbender and assassin’s creed, but they need an italian or at least a spaniard for the auditores.
Has no one played the first one? Ezio isn’t even in that in that one, what if it’s Altair?
Let me show you my Karate Kid crane kick. Giant dick, watch out!
I guess a big dick would make you have this much glee. He does need some teeth whitening though.
He can assassinate my creed.
Look hes freaking hot and I love his face and his acting but I need him to please step away from one of my favorite games and stick to showing the world his junk.
It’s been a long time since, Ive heard from you, Sally. How have you been? Btw, you’re a gamer? Marry me?
This guy is too cocky….
THere must be other actors in hollywood, right? And yet this dude gets all the roles these days. Wooden face, pale, blond with stupid accent: PERFECT for the syrian/persian assassin’s role…
The fact that Ubisoft made a movie called Lineage with the voice actors wasn’t even considered.
There’s something really interesting about this actor–he’s intense and has been overlooked in the past for awards so he may be coming off arrogant. His roles are usually dark and brooding so he may be getting typecast as such. Rumor has it, he may be considered for Fifty Shades of Grey, the erotica bestseller, but I wonder if he would be willing to work with such poor script material at a time when his career is really at it’s peak.
I think Altair is such a good character, he’s my favorite from the games. I think people don’t give him enough credit, and I actually like him better than Ezio. Anyway, I don’t like this actor and I don’t think he’s good enough to play Desmond, Altair OR Ezio. Looks too old to be Desmond, too boring and skinny to be Altair (I was really expecting someone with a manlier nose, fuller lips and darker skin) and too NON-ITALIAN to play Ezio. For now, this movie smells like shit to me.