Micaela Schaefer Is The Crap I Missed – 2.5.14

February 5th, 2014 // 75 Comments

Consider this post an early Valentine’s to you for putting up with this Photo Boy-less day, and me watching my Internet go in and out whenever a squirrel farts on an ice-caked power line. We’ll back tomorrow, and hopefully with a full arsenal of high-caliber paparazzi photos for you to click on because you deserve the best, ya little scamps. Now go on, get outta here.

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Photos: WENN

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  1. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Lol @ the guy there… right in there!

  2. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Now this is a version of “UP” I’d gladly see.

  3. Gotta hand it to her, she’s a tough lady. By the looks of the heavy coats in the background, it’s f’kin cold out.

    Also, would bang.

  4. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s with the guy dressed like a plastic army man in many of these pictures?

    And why am I noticing that instead of boobs?

    *heads to see psychiatrist

    • There are quite a few street performers in and around that part of Berlin (Brandenburg Gate/Reichstag) that dress to look like statues.

      I saw a woman in 1900′s get up – long dress etc. painted up like she was made of stone – on her lunch break, eating a sandwich and having a smoke. Quite bizarre.

      • Roughly the equivalent of the person (people?) who dress up as the Statue of Liberty to pose for pictures for tourists in NYC. I’ve seen her (them?) around for 20 years at least, so the money must be okay.

    • Deacon Jones

      You should see Barcelona. They are awesome

  5. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Son of Flubber
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure this is what Adolf had envisioned for Eva Braun, and Berlin.

  6. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Ellen
    Commented on this photo:

    Between the chest-rocks and the tuckback, that dude must be in a lot of pain.

  7. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Micaela's Lying Friend
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh and they look so natural, really!”

    • Mama Pinkus

      I’ll never understand why gals who are already naturally hot feel the need to make their boobs look like expired cantaloupes.

      • European Dude

        She has a hot body I give her that much, aside from that I can’t stand her (bimbo all the way) and bad taste in clothes as much as in ppl.

        On topic of her boobs she once stated she was often mocked in school and had developed a complex about it and her looks.

        Personally I liked her much better years ago (also without those terribly fake funbags). Basically she became what she admired, albeit the hate, a bimbo. I suspect this is what happens most of the time.

      • She wears clothes?

  8. JC

    If they’d had this kind of psychological warfare in the 30s and 40s, all of Europe would be speaking Deutsch, verstehen?

  9. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the worst boob job I’ve ever seen.

  10. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    The balloons on her chest alone could easily lift the old guy and the Asian kid.

  11. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    You wanna know how I got these scars?

  12. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    it looks like little thought bubbles above her vagina, as if it’s thinking, “I hope she never puts implants in me. They look painful”.

  13. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice! I’d love to have this as a present for Valentine’s Day.

  14. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    NOW i know what her vagina is thinking. It’s thinking, “next time you shave me, use shaving cream bitch! This rash is killing me!”

  15. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Aunt Cracker
    Commented on this photo:

    Probably not much to tuck in temperatures like that.

  16. wow such a natural beauty!

  17. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    BorrisMorris
    Commented on this photo:

    So do they bolt on or is there some kind of velcro system involved?

    • crb

      Which is a shame, because slim girls with small boobs can still be very hot. No need to ruin things with surgery.

      But more importantly, what is congress doing about getting someone classy into this getup? -Say, Aisha Tyler or something?

  18. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    This is literally the worst thing Germany has ever done.

  19. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    If this photo shoot happened in the States a bunch of fat moms would be on national talk shows saying how outraged they are.

    While their 13 year old daughters and sons are in their locked rooms at home posting naked selfies on instagram and blowing up people in GTA.

  20. Cock Dr

    I’m convinced there’s a Y chromosome in there somewhere.

  21. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, someone has some fucking sense instead of running away from her like the rest of them are doing

  22. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there anyone who actually finds this thing attractive? Between the massive scars, ridiculous implants, and overplumped fish lips, she barely looks human.

    • Yeah, but… vagina.

      A long time ago, someone pointed out to me the difference between being “hot” and being “fit”. I think that may be the case here.

  23. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    Shocked, I says! Absolutely shocked! What were the odds on this happening? 1:1?

  24. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Sadly I can no longer look at a picture of giant fake cans without visualizing Justin Bieber’s mouth on them

  25. John

    She knows her modeling niche. Sticking tiny stickers on the money areas for the holidays.

  26. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    yoop
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently they don’t wax in Germany

  27. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    yoop
    Commented on this photo:

    when your fax tits are too taut to cover the scars made installing them, then they’re too taut

  28. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    yoop
    Commented on this photo:

    who’s photobombing who?

  29. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stop staring at me perverts!”

  30. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Couldn’t she at least have put some body makeup on the under-boob scars?

  31. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Can somebody with photoshop skills erase the heart and clone stamp her armpit down there?

  32. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to see his pictures too.

  33. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    What is going on with the heart on her hoo-har? Is it attached to some inserted plug?

  34. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    John
    Commented on this photo:

    There is all kinds of crazy is this picture not including the nekkid model.

    What’s with the random American Flag in the background or the soldier/cop just kicking it with a guy in a bonnet?

  35. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a trap! I can see the scars from where the Death Stars were implanted.

  36. Courtney Stodden

    Those boobs are exactly why I won’t buy a BMW. Shoddy workmanship.

  37. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Her right tit is valiantly trying to make a break for it.

  38. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Fake tits taste funny.

  39. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    TechNut
    Commented on this photo:

    she needs to turn around!

  40. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Really...?
    Commented on this photo:

    Always a chick ?

  41. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Cynthia
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess they’re making implants filled with helium now.

  42. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Ten big balloons and two smaller ones.

  43. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Unlike Bieber, I am not into trannies.

  44. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Boobs not meant to be horizontal are.

  45. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst boobs of the week award goes to…

  46. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Def Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    *gazes into crystal ball* “I see a uni-boob in your future”.

  47. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    FritoBandito
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing from the back?

  48. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Nasty razor burn on the inner thigh…

  49. Micaela Schaefer Naked Heart Shaped Nipple & Crotch Pasties
    Commented on this photo:

    Kinda sucked as a tcim

  50. cc

    If you peel the foil heart off, you find a chocolate vagina.

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