Mena Suvari Definitely Has A Type

October 24th, 2012 // 29 Comments

From 2010 to 2012, Mena Suvari was married to tattooed Latino Simone Sestito, but apparently his name didn’t sound enough like he fetches a donkey for Don Quixote, so here she is with her new boyfriend, tattoo artist Salvatore Sanchez who has to be three feet tall and tastes like delicious salsa judging by the look on Mena’s face. If you took off those sunglasses, all you’d see is this dude in a taco shell for her eyes. She’s very racist.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. EricLr

    Next stop, Chuy Bravo.

  2. Randalicious

    why couldn’t i have been born a greasy burrito?
    curse the fates!

  3. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    Mena: “Purse genies? I’ve never heard of such a thing. So you’ve been in there the whole time?”
    Salvador: “Yeah, it’s a little uncomfortable, but I’ve heard of worse. So what about your wishes?”
    Mena: “Wish one: Date me.”
    Salvador: “OK, but that’s gonna have to count as two.”

  4. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    Never before have I wished to be a three foot tall Latino man with shitty tattoos. But to get a piece of that ass, I would. Where’s a fucking genie when you need him?

  5. Duke

    Reminds me of what JJ Watts told Ray Rice during the Ravens-Texans game last week:

    “I’ve eaten burritos bigger then you”.

  6. Ed

    This has to be one of the funniest things Fish wrote in a while…she’s very racist..touche man.

    Oh btw, mad props to Suvari for still not getting a boob job..keep it gangsta girl (I mean bitch?…whatever your boyfriends call you).

  7. shankyouverymuch

    ……. “Mena Suvari Definitely Has A Type” & that type is Mexican Gardner all the way baby!!!

  8. BenDoverman

    She needs work and he knows where the Home Depots are. Seems logical to me.

  9. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Read in an encyclopedia once there are smaller guys than me. So I should be happy to see one but I just feel sorry for the guy. WAIT! He’s fucking Mena Suvari….Let me rephrase: Damn you!!!

  10. El Jefe

    She definitely likes her gangbangers.

  11. Gary Grant

    I think she believes the small tattooed ones are the only ones who worship her ass.

  12. Mandzuz

    latinos: good in bed, bad on paper.

  13. Anonymous

    This is actually surprising. I thought for sure she was lesbo.

  14. YAAR

    This sucks…I read the headline really fast and thought it said Mena Suvari has a tape.

    Son, I am disappoint…

  15. Most important quality Mena Suvari looks for in a man? Is it sense of humor? Fat wallet? Big dick? Nope, apparently it’s the alliteration of ‘S’ sounds in his name.

  16. anonym

    she digs short mexicans ???!!!

    there is hope for all the short guys after all. Don’t give up

  17. mrsmass

    not buying it. they look like friends at best. plus, that guy is fucking ugly.

  18. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is this ugly women and why should i care?

  19. Ari

    She also dated Mike “Murda” Carrasco, a dancer and former contestant on America’s Best Dance Crew. No kidding, google it!

  20. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Tyler Perry
    Commented on this photo:

    And that type is, Dirty Mexican

  21. Love the “Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers” shout-out. :)

  22. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    Salvadore Sanchez: Chipmunk Butt Connoisseur.

  23. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    Me: terrible speller.

  24. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    You can tell just by looking that this doesn’t make any kind of sense.

  25. Burt

    Whatever. I haven’t seen her in anything in years.

  26. cocoa

    I never realized how racist Mena Suvari is. Little disappointed, but at the same time… THAT BUTT. Boner boner boner and stuff!

  27. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Commented on this photo:

    No, no he’s too short! No that I am mean but I like men taller than me, with a guy shorter I just don’t feel attracted nor protected.

  28. Mena Suvari New Boyfriend Salvador Sanchez
    Gordon Ackerman
    Commented on this photo:

    I am afraid that the lovely Ms. Suvari has the same disastrous taste in men as the late Jean Seberg – dark-skinned and trashy. They were the death of Jean but Mena seems to know how to dump ‘em at the appropriate moment. Can’t she do better or doesn’t she want to do better?

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