Joe Gorga Will Make This Rape Business All Better

September 30th, 2013 // 10 Comments
Don't Smell My Poop
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Last week, poor, innocent people were exposed to the words inside Melissa Gorga‘s book Love Italian Style that basically suggests a strong marriage is built on never pooping and marital rape. Which sounds awesome on paper, but not so much when you tell other people who’ve seen you at a gas station with your kids right after your morning coffee. Needless to say, the whole thing was a.. shit show – Why is this ricin not working?! – so fortunately right before this bomb went off Joe Gorga didn’t pre-tape an episode of Bethenny Frankel‘s talk show and double down on the rape talk. Except, oh wait, he did. Via HuffPo:

On “Bethenny,” Joe reinforced his exasperating advice when Frankel asked him if Melissa never turns him down for sex. “She fights it. She fights it, but I always win,” he said.
He then continued to describe an instance in which Melissa came home tired, but he told her “Daddy needs his sleeping pill.”

What’s amazing is there seems to be a pretty simple way to avoid this whole situation:

“Daddy needs his sleeping pill. Let’s go.”
“I just shit in a bathroom in our house.”
“OHMYGOD, KIDS! KIDS GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!” *dives out window*



  1. I’m pretty sure his shirt reads. “Doosh”.

  2. His arms bear all the scratch marks of a happy, healthy marriage.

  3. CaribbeanLMo

    Seriously, this shit is too hilarious. I think some one should call the FBI to extract that poor cow out of that house. I mean clearly she hasn’t had a proper poop in years and should be inches away from death right?

  4. Melissa Gorga Bikini Joe Gorga
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s Daddy’s sleeping pill.

  5. Robb7

    Don’t know these knuckleheads. Happy not to. I’m Italian, so they embarrass me.

    • Yep, but in their defense—anyone who has ever been to Italy or France understands there is no concept of rape.

      Rape in both countries are merely considered dating rituals.

  6. Goose

    I love reading Jezebel when I don’t even have to type in the address for Jezebel! So convenient!

  7. I assume “daddy’s sleeping pill” is her telling him all about her day.

  8. Those are the eyes of a woman whose soul is screaming for help.

  9. ledouche518

    Strange how she sort of looks like Osama Bin Laden. Strange how there’s no photos of him dead. Hmm….

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