“Will I be playing April O’Neil’s mom? Ahahahaha… Yes.”
Up until yesterday, I knew exactly two things to be true: Megan Fox‘s acting career was over, but she was trying to pass it off as her choice it so she could stop being objectified and focus on being a mom. And Michael Bay‘s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was shitcanned for being a colossal train wreck where they were really aliens instead of mutated turtles. But then Michael Bay took a break from forcing Victoria’s Secret models to walk around Miami in nothing but lingerie because he’s Jesus and made the surprise announcement that Megan will be in the Turtles movie which is apparently still happening because he’s also Satan:
TMNT: we are bringing Megan Fox back into the family!
MICHAEL: Megan, what are you doing here?
MEGAN: We’re broke, Michael, okay? We’re broke. You win.
MICHAEL: Shh… shh… it’s okay. This whole thing got out of hand.
MEGAN: *wipes tears* It did… it really did… Wait, is that a bucket of soap?
MICHAEL: Yeah, but it’s totally different this time. You’re washing Galapagos turtles!
MICHAEL: You vill address your Fuhrer vith RESPECT.