Megan Fox & Michael Bay Need Each Other

February 22nd, 2013 // 30 Comments
Jesus Christ!
Megan Fox Esquire
Megan Fox Is Crazier Than Anyone Knew Read More »

“Will I be playing April O’Neil’s mom? Ahahahaha… Yes.”

Up until yesterday, I knew exactly two things to be true: Megan Fox‘s acting career was over, but she was trying to pass it off as her choice it so she could stop being objectified and focus on being a mom. And Michael Bay‘s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was shitcanned for being a colossal train wreck where they were really aliens instead of mutated turtles. But then Michael Bay took a break from forcing Victoria’s Secret models to walk around Miami in nothing but lingerie because he’s Jesus and made the surprise announcement that Megan will be in the Turtles movie which is apparently still happening because he’s also Satan:

TMNT: we are bringing Megan Fox back into the family!

MICHAEL: Megan, what are you doing here?
MEGAN: We’re broke, Michael, okay? We’re broke. You win.
MICHAEL: Shh… shh… it’s okay. This whole thing got out of hand.
MEGAN: *wipes tears* It did… it really did… Wait, is that a bucket of soap?
MICHAEL: Yeah, but it’s totally different this time. You’re washing Galapagos turtles!
MEGAN: Goddammit.
MICHAEL: You vill address your Fuhrer vith RESPECT.



  1. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    What has she done to her face?
    Perhaps a better question is: what has she NOT done to her face?

  2. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Commented on this photo:

    i think it’s something else he would like kissed

  3. inkydink

    whoa – i didn’t even recognize her. what has she done now to her face?

  4. inkydink

    That cannot be Megan Fox. Looks nothing like her.

  5. Deacon Jones

    I can’t tell you how much pleasure this news gives me, considering I hate Michael Bay and everything he’s done and stands for, and I hate the complete unoriginality of Hollywood right now.

    How do these fucking suits that drive Lambos at Paramount Pictures justifying their jobs right now?
    1. TMNT gets canceled., oh, and they’re ALIENS NOW.

    2. GI JOE: Retaliation is getting redone…who gives a fuck, never saw the first one and never will. You want GI JOE? Watch the fucking cartoons, they are works of art, each and every one of them.

    3. World War Z’s ending was so bad, they’ve brought in another writer and have mother-fucking delayed it until summer 2014?!? You pricks!

    4. Meghan Fox is hot and I’d like to hump her doggy style. I’m done!

  6. 2 thumbs up to this news!

  7. Inner Retard

    She had to wash his car in a bikini for a role then. So, I really want to know what she did this time to get back in favors after everything. Whatever it was probably trumps any and everything the porn industry created in the last 10 years COMBINED.

    • schmidtler

      I’m really hoping that after all the shit Michael Bay forces her to do to get in the movie, he just cuts her out in editing entirely and bans her from all the publicity tour crap.

  8. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Inner Retard
    Commented on this photo:

    Like the stupid Marilyn tattoo (no reflection on Marilyn) I suspect she will soon regret all that stupid plastic surgery. Sadly, there is no Ctrl-Z for that.

  9. This ninja turtle thing – another crapfest from crapmaker michael “blow sheet up” bay – doesn’t require any actors so it’s perfect for Megan Fox.

  10. Why would he bring Toe-Finger back into the fold?
    Did the movie really need some acting credibility?

    And after all she said about him, she decides to return?
    Obviously needs to fund the next round of surgeries.

  11. She can wash my Ferrari anytime.

  12. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Commented on this photo:

    “How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood . . . dammit, I hate the science questions.”

  13. What?! No, Sieg Heil?…..back to the camp Megan

  14. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, yeah, she really effed up her mug. She looks a little retarded now.

  15. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Buffalo Chips
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me use this mic to illustrate the two-hand technique I used on Michael.

  16. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she look so different besides the whole smiling thing…

  17. This time michael “blow shit up” bay didn’t have Fox wash his Ferrari. Instead bay had Fox wash his Ferrari then she had to wash bay’s Lamborghini followed by washing bay’s Lotus followed by having to wash bay’s Aston Martin and then finally Fox finished up by washing bay’s Bentley.

  18. guest

    brian austin green has really downgraded-from beautiful vanessa marcil to this big nose, big forehead, loud, stupid bitch. what the hell.

  19. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, who is this?! I mean, come on, I know Megan Fox from thousands of hot pictures and cheap movies, but I barely can recognize her here! What happend to you, baby!!

  20. Megan Fox Brahma Beer
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we’re seeing that Megan has gained a few pounds, and has gotten some sun. She’s no longer “Dita Von Teese” pale. Actually, I still thinks she’s incredibly pretty. But then I also like prickly heat and blistering jock rash.

  21. anonymous

    I don’t think it’s the plastic surgery that’s making her look different. Somehow, I think she’s gotten back that human soul she sold for fame and fortune a few years ago.

  22. First time since i discovered this site that I actually LAUGHED at one of the fake-dialog punchlines. Well played, Supe, well fucking played.

  23. kery

    She is not a real actress ;D

  24. Motorboat Captain

    Am I the only one who wanted to see April O’Neil play April O’Neil?

  25. The woman in these photos looks nothing like previous photos attributed to be Megan Fox.
    What the hell do these people do to themselves to alter their appearance so drastically?

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