Megan Fox Apologizes To Lindsay Lohan For Making Completely Accurate Statement

During the Esquire interview where she was repeatedly described as a snow driven field unmarred by the hoofprints of ugly deer-humans or some equally ridiculous bullshit, Megan Fox somehow said something that wasn’t about the Internet heralding in the apocalypse which she knows because she speaks Heaven-language. (Seriously, have you read this thing? You should probably read this thing.) In fact, what she said was a completely accurate comparison of Lindsay Lohan and Marilyn Monroe:

“I started reading about her and realized that her life was incredibly difficult. It’s like when you visualize something for your future. I didn’t want to visualize something so negative.”
But she was a great actress, a great icon, a figure of power.
“She wasn’t powerful at the time. She was sort of like Lindsay. She was an actress who wasn’t reliable, who almost wasn’t insurable…. She had all the potential in the world, and it was squandered,” she says, curled defensively on the sofa. “I’m not interested in following in those footsteps.”

Unreliable actress who was once full of potential but now no one will insure with a ten-foot pole. Toss in international hooking and that’s exactly Lindsay Lohan. Except Megan Fox is apologizing for the remark because she’s a deep philosopher now, you guys. Totes deep. Via Facebook:

In the newly released article that I did for Esquire, there is a reference that is made to Lindsay Lohan that I would like to clarify before it snowballs into something silly.
The journalist and I were discussing why I was removing my Marilyn Monroe tattoo, especially since in his opinion, Marilyn was such a powerful and iconic figure for women.
I attempted to draw parallels between Lindsay and Marilyn in order to illustrate my point that while Marilyn may be an icon now, sadly she was not respected and taken seriously while she was still living.
Both women were gifted actresses, whose natural talent was lost amongst the chaos and incessant media scrutiny surrounding their lifestyles and their difficulties adhering to studio schedules etc.
I intended for this to be a factual comparison of two women with similar experiences in Hollywood. Unfortunately it turned into me offering up what is really much more of an uneducated opinion.
It was most definitely not my intention to criticize or degrade Lindsay.
I would never want her to feel bullied, as she does not deserve that.
I was not always speaking eloquently during this interview and this miscommunication is my fault.

I won’t even get into the fact that Megan Fox, while absolutely fucking crazy, still has a chance at a decent career ahead of her so she shouldn’t be afraid of Lindsay Lohan who’s lucky if she still has three months left of letting Asian dignitaries eat sushi off her naked body. Let’s just jump to how this story ends: Megan invites Lindsay over for a deep spiritual discussion only to have the necklace her grandmother left her stolen and her infant son run over by a car. See? The Bible’s not the only one who can predict the future. Suck it, Revelations.

Photo: Esquire