[Ed. Note: Never trifle with me again, BAG. You're outmatched. - SW]
When we last left Megan Fox, she was telling moviegoers to fuck off before they even see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Since then, she’s already said she wants to go to back to Transformers, named Shia LaBeouf her favorite on-screen kiss and now here she is letting everyone know Brian Austin Green isn’t getting any because she has to do these fucking interviews, so go see Ninja Turtles if you want it to destroy your marriage, too. There, see? She promoted your stupid movie. Now fuck off. E! News reports:
“Brian doesn’t get any intimacy whatsoever,” she told Entertainment Tonight. Fox isn’t kidding, either. During an appearance on The View Tuesday, she said, “My [2-year-old son Noah] sleeps in bed with us, so there’s really no way.”
When reached for comment, Brian Austin Green would only respond to the name “Reek” and informed us several times master doesn’t like him talking to strangers. But eventually he showed us his severed penis in a box, and we all had a good laugh. You should’ve come.