Megan Fox Is Denying Brian Austin Green Sex Because of ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

August 6th, 2014 // 5 Comments
Hey, You, Fuck Off
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[Ed. Note: Never trifle with me again, BAG. You're outmatched. - SW]

When we last left Megan Fox, she was telling moviegoers to fuck off before they even see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Since then, she’s already said she wants to go to back to Transformers, named Shia LaBeouf her favorite on-screen kiss and now here she is letting everyone know Brian Austin Green isn’t getting any because she has to do these fucking interviews, so go see Ninja Turtles if you want it to destroy your marriage, too. There, see? She promoted your stupid movie. Now fuck off. E! News reports:

Brian doesn’t get any intimacy whatsoever,” she told Entertainment Tonight. Fox isn’t kidding, either. During an appearance on The View Tuesday, she said, “My [2-year-old son Noah] sleeps in bed with us, so there’s really no way.”

When reached for comment, Brian Austin Green would only respond to the name “Reek” and informed us several times master doesn’t like him talking to strangers. But eventually he showed us his severed penis in a box, and we all had a good laugh. You should’ve come.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. I get the impression that she’d use any excuse to not have sex with him.

  2. Megan Fox Legs Apple Store Interview
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she’s keeping warmed up.

  3. someone needs a grudge fuck and a good falcon punch.

  4. Megan Fox Legs Apple Store Interview
    Commented on this photo:

    “What’s that? No, I don’t think I’ll be famous forever–I KNOW it, you asshole. My looks are forever, and my natural charisma draws people to me. Now go see my stupid fucking movies and shut up, dickwad.”

  5. Megan Fox Legs Apple Store Interview
    Commented on this photo:

    “You want to smear Duck Butter on my face?”

  6. Well this chick just became officaly useless.

  7. Megan Fox Legs Apple Store Interview
    Commented on this photo:

    “Quick!!! Who am I?”

    “Kim Kardashian!!!”

    “Nailed it!!”

  8. Megan Fox Legs Apple Store Interview
    Commented on this photo:

    “Take a good look Brian. Its as close as your ever gonna get again.”

  9. I just fucking LOVE this woman. I can’t get her out of my (alleged) mind. And I know I’ll never get a chance to even shake her hand (yeah, right) so it makes me really HATE this woman.

  10. Megan Fox Legs Apple Store Interview
    Commented on this photo:

    “I just wanted to say it was a big mistake comparing Michael Bay to Hitler. I should have compared him to Paula Deen.”

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