I will murder you, crotch shadow. I will murder you right in your sleep.
Here’s Megan Fox on the set of The Dictator in all her fresh-faced, natural beauty because have you heard? She doesn’t use Botox, you guys. This is pure 100% Fox in all it’s puffy, just woke up from a night of drinking away the fact she’s married to Brian Austin Green and blacklisted by Steven Spielberg goodness. You can’t buy that in stores, and believe me, I’ve tried. People just look at you funny, but I don’t know how else you ask the kid at Lowe’s if they sell Megan Fox’s face for a “wood shed” without making air quotes. Is he just supposed to guess I need sex lumber, too? (Also hard to find, by the way.)