So January Jones Will Probably Be The New Princess Leia. Goddammit…

“Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re behind on your child support.”

For those of you wondering what the fuck is happening here, Matthew Vaughn is already rumored to be the director of Star Wars: Episode VII which is supposedly why he really bounced on X-Men: Days of Future Past and not to direct an adaptation of Mark Millar’s The Secret Service. And because I still believe he knocked up January Jones, that means she’s probably going to be the new Princess Leia which works out even more because she needs to get pregnant with Jedi twins in these things. It’s almost too easy… Collider reports:

Now you have to ask yourself, why would Vaughn abruptly drop out of helming the X-Men sequel when the head of 20th Century Fox (Tom Rothman) is leaving the studio? After all, while Rothman helped make some great movies over the past few years, he’s also known as a micro-manager that can rub some filmmakers the wrong way. With Rothman out, I imagine Vaughn would have had more creative control on the sequel and it would have been an easier film to make.
But if Lucasfilm offered Vaughn the keys to Star Wars, that’s something he’d likely jump ship for.

I’m completely onboard with this because Layer Cake, Stardust, Kick-Ass and X-Men: First Class were all awesome despite that last one having almost everything going against it. More importantly, there’s now an even greater chance of Jon Hamm being cast as Han Solo against January’s Leia which makes all that erotic fan-fiction I made Photo Boy transcribe over the years potential screenplays. Think “50 Shades of Grey” meets one of his testicles are the Death Star. *waits for Hollywood’s phone call, should be any second now*

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