Speaking of woman-beaters, Jack Shepard, or “Matthew Fox“, whatever that means, apparently really wanted to crash a party bus in Cleveland Saturday night only to find himself blocked by some dumb cooze forcing him to take action. Fortunately Locke and Sawyer had stolen the briefcase full of guns earlier or this could’ve gone all wrong. TMZ reports:
We’re told a woman tried to block Fox from getting on the bus — at which point, he allegedly punched her in the breast and the vagina.
Fox was handcuffed by an off-duty officer — and was later detained by police.
Fox was released without being formally arrested.
As of this paragraph, TMZ has updated the report and vagina has now been changed to “stomach area” because drunk people have horrible aim. “Did I only hit your gunt? I need to re-examine my life,” Matthew Fox probably said. Also, the woman reportedly struck back though I’m going to assume that had more to do with the ending of LOST because boobs will grow back after you punch them. Sometimes, even thicker and more luxurious provided you don’t go against the grain. That’s always the trick.
I’m thinking Jack still thinks he’s on the island and this chick was really Daniel Faraday in drag and she was keeping time travel secrets from him again.
Live together, punch-chicks- in- the- vagina- and- tits alone.
Hilarious
no idea who he is but that’s a douchey satan beard, so the story makes perfect sense
this because most homosexuals, like him, can’t stand women.
THEY’RE ARE JUST JEALOUS!!
Hey, go investigate the viability of string theory next – I swear to you it involves your hanging yourself with dental floss.
Sadly many homosexual men like women a whole lot more than heterosexual men…
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Eat a dick!
I have a feeling I would’ve been hysterically laughing watching this go down.
Prayers of ass cancer for JoynerDwight are trending high. What gives..?
What an ass. Someone needs to cock-punch this wuss!
Well, that’s another way to get into the hatch.
The cops let the guy go as soon as he took off the leather apron. Still the smooth talker I always heard about.
He pulled a Hurley
why was she blocking him? Woman are not infallible
That’s Fox’s belief too. He’s against the eighty on the dollar women makes in the work place. He believe it should be 100-100.
Believes
Buy, would he be justified if lady gaga was doing hip hop and call herself Kreayshawn?
I’m not sure what I think of Serj Tankian’s new look.
Ha!
He just wanted off the island, leave the guy alone.
WTF Jack? You crazy asshole! Jesus Christ. But anyway, who punches a woman in her vagina? I haven’t personally experienced the sensation (save accidentally walking in to the corners of desks etc.), but I don’t think it would be a very successful move to cripple the enemy. Going for the boobays is a low move though, those things are painful. Take your Daddy issues out on something else in future Jack, vaginas are not for punching, you dick.
If only I´d get one dollar for each time i see the word “vagina” misused by americans… Is this just an annoying habit or plain ignorance?
Going with “ignorance.”
Did he hit her in the breasts and vagina at the same time? That had to be an awkward fighting stance.
Was it both breasts? And her vagina? At the same time?
he must have been using his magic Island powers he got from Jacob..
It was actually a punch/kick in the breast/vagina. When done at once proves he couldn’t be drunk.
Can’t wait to see how this all ends. There must be a twist.
Ugh just totally ugh. Punching a woman and, well, punching anyone on the bus?? So unattractive and idiotic.