Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen take cell phones

June 21st, 2007 // 80 Comments

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen demanded that all guests check their cell phones and BlackBerrys at the door to their 21st birthday party last Friday because they didn’t want any illicit pictures ruining their six-figure asking price for exclusive photos. Although I could put up random pictures from an 80-year-old woman’s birthday party and you probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Except that maybe Mary-Kate was looking a bit more youthful than usual. I’m 99% convinced these two are monsters. Regular cameras probably wouldn’t even pick up their picture.



  1. teeteetdot


  2. Danni

    I hate the Olsen twins. A waste of skin and air.

  3. domingoflores

    i don’t want to hear about this bitches unless they are naked or dead.

  4. Danni

    ^ Damn you teeteetdot!!

  5. Ooba Gooba

    They are useless. What do they do exactly? Besides throwing up and looking sad?

  6. Worldmaker

    They just don’t want the world seeing pictures of them doing keg-stands and blowing a row of Chippendale dancers.

  7. i know, i know but it much easier to get the latest and greatest cellphones from us than people realize…so pretty much no biggie…we always say if you want to know how to get the best ones for free all you have to do is…

  8. i know, i know but its much easier to get the latest and greatest cellphones from us than people realize…so pretty much no biggie…we always say if you want to know how to get the best ones for free all you have to do is…

  9. my apologies for the dupe above, i entered once and also forgot the url for the phone info so here it is

  10. kate

    Careful!They’ll eat your eyes.

  11. Rosecoloredglasses

    I know this is off topic, but does anyone know what happened to the perezhilton website? It’s stupid now…there are no comments sections?!

  12. Uncle Jessie should’ve curb stomped those little twats after coming home to a ‘full house’ from one of his rock n’ roll benders.

  13. Worldmaker

    Nice pitch there, G Cell. It’s amazing marketing.

    “Hey, speaking of dolphins, I SELL CELL PHONES! HEY GUYS, YOU COULD GET SOME FREE! Oh yeah, I also like the Olsen Twins. BECAUSE THEY HAVE CELL PHONES LIKE THE ONES I SELL.”

    lol, what a tool.

  14. I understand completely! If I sniffed all the cocaine that was on the platter, I wouldn’t want my picture taken either!Now…..These Tramps need to go to the rehab! I think america is picking on the wrong ladies!

  15. The perez hilton website- has had some glitches due to the fact he was using copyrighted images supposedly… they removed his archives and some of the all about it…

    Besides Perez is not even the best celebrity blogger anymore- he plays favoritism bashes normal celebrities and loves robots like “posh spice” aka victoria beckham because hes in her new reality show. perez is lame and he is not the queen of shit. I get updates on my phone faster then he can update them 2 his site. two thumbs down for the fatty court jester of the media.

  16. ugly bitch haz zome
    nerve wearing fur…
    I’m calling Pam

  17. Anodyne

    They must have burned through most of their childhood money, charging 100k+ for pictures of their birthday party.
    Unless they are planning some fascinatingly morbid incestual semi-human lesbian twin deal, I wouldn’t even pay a dollar.

  18. Anodyne

    Uh don’t you mean Pam AnderZon?

    Freakin teenage girls.

  19. One of them is made of a mixture of salt, cocaine and primordial ooze.

  20. Latrell Washington

    Who even wats to see a photograph of these two hags? They’re not even attractive or interesting. And besides, what has either of them done in the last ten years?

    I’d rather see pictures of naked homeless people on the streets of San Francisco for free at

  21. rebecca

    hahaa…i love kathy griffin’s comparison of marykate to cousin it. priceless.

  22. 1234

    Is it me or does everyone else think that they were ugly ass babies?

  23. #19Android:
    yea, like I said….
    1 comment and the
    bitchez come out.

    boy, for never meeting
    me..U sure fuckin hate
    me…hate to zee if U
    saw what I looked like..
    talk about hate..U couldn’t
    fuckin handle it, bitch!

  24. lambman

    I still think Ashley is pretty cute, I wish she were the one in Weeds and not MK

  25. becca

    23 – whew i thought i was the only one. sometimes, when i was little, i would be flipping through channels. i thought i was watching that show “dinosaurs” until bob saget entered the room. then i just entered an extreme state of confusion.

  26. Deb

    They really turned out pathetic looking…bag ladies. I think they did not want pictures taken so no one would catch them doing their drugs. No one could be that skinny and old at 21 without doing something illegal.

  27. Deb

    Yes, I also think they were ugly babies with dark circles under their eyes.

  28. woodhorse

    #27 So true. And they won’t age well. The only thing more unattractive than a young bag of bones is an old bag of bones. Someone on the payroll is a good investor because they don’t have any talent and they don’t work.

  29. woodhorse

    #27 So true. And they won’t age well. The only thing more unattractive than a young bag of bones is an old bag of bones. Someone on the payroll is a good investor because they don’t have any talent and they don’t work.

  30. Deb

    #30…LOL They already look like old bags of bones!!! I also don’t see any acting in their future…they had better invest well and stop blowing it on blow…LOL

  31. Kelly

    ok, does anyone else think krazihotkelli os a weirdo? or is (iz) it just me? anyone? anyone?
    that is all

  32. Kamiki

    Do these little whores wear real fur? DAMN their bitch asses, car bomb them, sick bitches. If it’s fake then – ooops!

  33. moneyhoney

    Make $$$$ just looking at ads!

  34. Darth Hater

    Remember when people thought they would grow up to be hot? LOL

  35. haha

    i laugh at the fools who bookmarked/salivated over the “days until the olsens are legal” countdown.

  36. WallyIsAFuckingDoucheBag

    Cameras will steal your soul. wait, too late.

  37. PsychoChild

  38. Chauncey Gardner

    Like Britney, it’s amazing how far the attentions of the average jailbait-coveting American male and the Pavlovian social conditioning of young American women can turn the uninteresting and the unattractive into superstars. These two little homunculi are revolting in pretty much every single way, on top of being completely talentless and completely devoid of personality.

    And, they’re just flat-out ugly. They always reminded me of those little plastic Trolls that were all the rage in the ’80s. You couldn’t walk into a Hallmark store and not find yourself surrounded by the hideous things. I have often wondered if the Trolls were designed to look like the young Olsen Twins, or, if the young Olsen Twins were designed to look like Trolls. Even if the resemblance is pure coincidence, the likeness was pretty fucked up.

  39. me

    gah! why?

  40. swan

    I love chauncey Gardner…AND worldmaker made me laugh out loud (#6).

    Thank god some funny people post here…not just crude doof sex addict poo lovers.

  41. Dahlia Rose

    Trolls are Cuter:

    They have nicer clothes, stomach jewels, lucky horseshoes on the bottom of there feet, nice colorful hair.

    The Olsen Twins don’t hold a candle to a Troll Doll.

  42. Vink

    i remember getting excited for them turning 18. I thought they would turn out boneriffic.

  43. EewwwwYucky

    Which twin twit is that in the photo? Whichever one it is, it looks like roadkill wearing roadkill.

  44. Snatch

    Chauncey = cool.
    I wonder if she wears fur to add some “bulk”…you know, so people don’t think she makes herself barf anymore.

  45. #14 thanks for the compliment but i think i misled you, i don’t sell cellphones!!!!!! did you even look? but your lol definitely made me lol ! ! ! ! ! ! !

  46. yo i see you do sell cellphones and they are the same kind the oslen brothers have we also sell them but i like the olsen sisters much better and they use better cellphones!!!!!!!!!! free one to #14 claim# 755-92765-00002-936234-35

  47. frenchie

    Holy crap! The “monsters” link is the scaries link ever with this duo of lurking monster creatures! Talk about night of the living dead…where the hell are their birth pods? They look like jagged yellow lazer beams should be coming out of their eyeballs…and if they actually opened their mouths I think molten lava fireballs would shoot out vaporizing all mammals and amphibians nearby. It’s best to keep them looking like the lips have been permanently super glued shut; however, I do wonder which one has longer fangs.

  48. HeavenScent

    lmao @ all the Troll comments! I remember those….

    Personally I liked Stephanie on Full House better but I hear she went the meth route….maybe that show messed everyone up

  49. RichPort

    41. Watch it! I resemble that statement, and “scatology” IS a science.

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