Mariah Carey pwns Elvis

April 3rd, 2008 // 55 Comments

Mariah Carey’s latest single “Touch My Body” just went #1 on the Billboard Singles Chart. This is the 18th single to hit the top spot for Mariah and puts her ahead of Elvis. She’s now only second to The Beatles. But still nowhere near as good as my favorite fictional band from Wayne’s World The Shitty Beatles. The AP reports:

Carey said being in such company was gratifying not only because of her personal success, but what it meant for women and minorities.
“For me, in my mind the accomplishment is just that much sweeter,” she said. “In terms of my ethnicity, always feeling like an outsider, always feeling different … for me it’s about saying, ‘Thank you Lord, for giving me the faith to believe in myself when other people had written me off.’”

By “other people had written her off,” does she mean cracking jokes about her opening KFC’s? Because, seriously, I didn’t mean it. Mariah, please don’t kill me with your piles of bigger-than-Elvis money. I owned your Unplugged album in the 90s. I swear! I even sing “Emotions” when I’m on the can in the employee restroom. Ask my co-worker Bill. He’ll vouch for me. Everyday I make him sit in the next stall and hit the high notes. I’m more of a baritone.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. She is super sexy and large sexy.She has my whole-hearted support.I saw her always dating in millonaire dating site”W e a l t h y L o v i n g . c o m”.I am wondering what kind of relation she want in this site?Dose she really has a new baby?

  2. Jackson Wallace

    This woman has blown not only her record-exec husband, but also Satan, and the Lord, because there is no other explanation for how this douche puts out the crappiest music ever, sucks to high heaven on SNL, and then gets one number one after another. Then again, never underestimate the power of suburban nailskanks to carry the delusion that they are still young and good-looking on forever. Mariah will still be selling number ones to 65 year olds, who will still be dressing like 25 year-olds. You’ll come up to them from behind, thnk they’re hot, and then they’ll turn around, and you’ll scream in horror….

  3. Jakey Poo

    Oh come on, some of you guys are taking her success and words too personally. She was only trying to be modest over such a question. She has talent and spunk and longevity. So what about her personality, she makes good music. That should be enough.

    But yes… those tits and smile are SO fake. You go girl

  4. rico

    diana ross has had 18# 1 hits as. As lead singer of the supremes and a solo act she has had 18 #1 hits . A #2 album (diana .1980). and a #1 lady sings the blues album. her and mariah are tied for # 1……………. let the games began

  5. Joni

    Wow…you all sound very bitter. No matter how many of you get on this site and bitch about how much you don’t like her and how much she sucks, YOU ARE INSIGNIFICANT! This woman is rich and uber successful. And ya’ll are, (myself included) just bloggers who sound hateful and envious. Oh well. Yes she’s part black, Mariah, do your thing, girl! Yes she’s imperfect in some aspects and so are we all. With so much envy and hate in the world no wonder…

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