Mariah Carey’s Crazy Breasts Snagged A Billionaire

Fish and I know we have a rare public platform here, so we’ll sometimes try to present what we view as a logical take on a hot button issue. For example, if you want to discuss accusations that Amy Schumer is a joke thief, but you start your argument with “HERR FAT BITCH DURR UNFUNNY CUNT,” that sends a clear message that middle ground might be tough to find with you. And while we have fun doing that, we also know that this site is about boobs. This time it’s Mariah Carey’s giant crazy ones that just hypnotized billionaire James Packer into proposing to them. So here’s photos of them hosting a charity event because apparently they’re also powerful enough to suck money away from people who will never have sex with them. *helplessly watches hand write check, place into envelope, mail to UNICEF* Fuck! *remembers being escorted from bank for trying to deposit chocolate coins into account* Nevermind, It’s fine, I’m cool. 

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