Mariah Carey Shut Nick Cannon The Hell Up

August 22nd, 2014 // 17 Comments

Yesterday, Nick Cannon confirmed to The Insider that he and Mariah Carey have been living in separate houses for months because this guy will tell anybody fucking anything. Which is why Mariah slapped him with a gag order, so this is all going well. TMZ reports:

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ … Nick and Mariah’s lawyers hashed out a confidentiality agreement as part of their divorce … and it’s completely one-sided.
Nick is barred from saying anything about the split. If he does, there are severe financial penalties. But Mariah has the right under the agreement to announce the split on her terms.

And those terms are a Craigslist ad for a new butler who hasn’t had sex with Kim Kardashian which will probably violate a few equal opportunity laws. You can’t just come right out and say, “Oh, hey, by the way, no black guys.” It’s a different world now.

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  1. brick

    What a C word she is!

  2. She could probably get a hold of that twink kid that was working for J Lo. What’s his name…Caspar.

  3. It was inevitable that it would end this way. Massa doesn’t want her former house slave spilling the beans.

  4. Oh BABY

    Nick Cannon may have no filter on his mouth, but Carey must be a total nightmare to deal with, let alone be married to. There are a lot of pretentious, self-absorbed female celebs out there, but this one has to be among the worst. Run, Nick!

  5. Harriet Tubman would be proud Nick. Keep the faith.

  6. Rasputin's Evil Twin

    Does this gag order come with a real gag? If so, proceed…

  7. This somehow doesn’t surprise me at all. She’s an overrated twat who thinks that ‘diva’ and ‘raging narcissistic cuntbag’ are the same thing.

  8. Short Round

    I bet he just wants out. On that day he’ll make Jesse Pinkman’s exit from Jack’s compound look like a small Goodbye nod.

  9. If there’s one celeb out there deserving of the ‘hit-that-&-move-on-QUICK’ title, it’s definitely Carrey.

    Cannon should have listen to Eminem…

  10. Nick probably doubled his net worth when he signed the confidentiality agreement. A $20 million payoff would be chump change to Mariah (her net worth is listed at $510 million)

  11. Miss Piggy and ShitStain are getting divorced? whet hope is there for the rest of us?

  12. people who still use the word ‘diva’ should be riddled with zits on their asses. people who refer to THEMSELVES as ‘diva’ should have live piranhas shoved up their snatch.

  13. Fish, are you sure none of this has to do with Nick doing that whiteface bit? Surely you can factor that in here somehow, if only to throw some red meat to those hungry racist lions who are still inexplicably devoted to The Superficial.

  14. It’s the motherfucker’s own fault. What did he think was going to happen if he married MARIAH CAREY?? It’s win-win for him…..he endures the crazy for a couple of years, pours a couple of champagne baths, profile gets doubled…makes cash money.

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